Goodbye Life As I Know It

I'd forgiven Billie. He was so angry, it was an accident. That happens. Now, it was the day before school and I was seriously nervous. I was stressed and my stomach wasa twisting in knots of fear. I felt like I was going to constantly throw up. I jumped at the smallest noises. Mom noticed my paranoia.
"Honey, I know you're stressed. I've seen your photography, though. You were born to follow your dreams and that you are."
"Thanks mom," I said softly.
"Is there something else bothering you?"
Yes!
"No. I'm fine."
Fine. F is for fucked up. I is for insane. N is for nauseated. E is for emotionally drained.
"I know when you. Tell me."
I shook my head and tried a smile. "It's really just school. Honestly."
"If you say so. If you ever want to talk about it, though. Let me know." She squeezed my hand. "I love you, Jade. I don't want you to have secrets from me."
"I know," I sighed. "I'm going out."
"Be back early. Don't wanna be tired for school."
I nodded and headed out. I went to Mike's house. He didn't looked surprised to see me. I went in and sat on his couch.
"Can I have someone to talk to," I asked.
"Of course. Go ahead."
"I think I either have to end it with Billie or tell my mom. Or both." Mike knew about it. So did Tre.
"Billie will understand. I know he will. It'll be hard at first."
"He's strong. I know he'll make it. I'm not trying to be self-centered, but I don't know if I'll make it." I pulled my knees to my chest. Tears started. "I'm not just some obsessed fan girl like I used to be. These past few weeks, I really got to know him. I really do love him," I sobbed.
Mike put his arm around me. "I know you do."
The doorbell rang.
"I'll be right back."
It was Billie. My heart sunk and the tears came ever faster. I forced myself to stand. He saw me and stopped, looking me over.
"Billie," I said in the strongest voice I could manage, "We need to talk."
"Outside," Billie said.
I nodded and we went out.
"Billie." I took a deep breath before continuing. "I love you and you know that."
"Yeah, I love you too." He hugged me.
I pulled away and held up my hand. "Just listen to me."
He pressed his lips together and gave a solemn nod.
"I love you, but I can't do this. We need to forget about it."
He caressed my cheek and I couldn't bring myself to stop him.
"Jade, just give me a week. That's all I ask. I'll figure this out. I promise you-"
"No." I reluctantly smiled through my tears. "Forget me but not the time."