All Yours Somehow

I was sat in my room in silence with my head in a book finishing the reading I needed to do before I went back for my next semester. These holidays had been quite hectic with family visiting and catching up with friends from high school who had gone off to different colleges. We had all managed to fit in a few nights of drinking whilst we were back. Now I had just a few days until college started back up and I knew I wasn’t going to be ready. I kept my head stuck in my book, making notes for the next few hours only to be interrupted by my mom telling me I needed to eat. Just as I returned to my room to continue reading, my phone started ringing. I looked at the screen and saw he was ringing me again.

“Hello,” I sighed, placing it to my ear.

“Hi, so are you coming tonight?” he asked.

“John, I’ve been telling you for three weeks that I won’t make it tonight,” I told him.

“Please, Hannah, do it for me? I really think you’ll enjoy it and even if, on the off chance you don’t, you can always leave, right?”

“I have a lot that I need to do.”

“Please, Han,” I could imagine the face he was pulling at the other end of the phone. I left him in silence as I sat that trying to think of what to say. He’d been asking for ages and seemed like he really wanted me to go. “Hannah?” he said, finally breaking the silence.

“What time do I need to be there?” I sighed.

“You can come by any time, but doors open at 7.”

I agreed and we said goodbye. It was 4.30 now, that gave me a couple of hours to do as much as I could before going out. John’s band, The Maine, were playing a local show tonight and John had been pestering me to go for ages. At first I was hesitant. I’d only hung out with John a few times since I first met him around a month ago, and during that time, I’d managed to mostly ignore the fact he was in a band. At least, that was until he suggested me coming to see them play.

Two hours later, my books were shut, I’d changed my clothes and got ready and I was heading out in my car to pick up Holly and make our way to the show.

“So what’s going on with you and John?” Holly asked, as I drove.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to like him, I can’t deal with that again,” I told her. “But there is something about him that is just pulling me in.”

“He’s always been kind of a mystery to me.”

“I can imagine,” I said, concentrating on the roads. We arrived not long after 7 and I called John to come meet us and we followed him back into the building. This was the first time I’d actually spent time with the other guys in the band since meeting them, which didn’t really count since I didn’t really stop around and talk to them.

“So it’s Hannah, right?” Kennedy asked and I nodded, as we sat down in the room they were in. “Nice to see you again.”

As I looked at him, I couldn’t help but feel like I knew him from somewhere but couldn’t put my finger on it. I looked around the room and noticed quite a few people from the bonfire were in here.

“Are you OK?” John asked looking down at me from where he was standing. “Thinking about leaving yet?”

I shook my head and smiled. All the guys were being really nice to me and Holly was happily chatting to them all too.

“First band is just going on, do you want to hang here or go watch?” John asked.

“You don’t have to baby me, but yes I would like to go watch,” I told him. “Hol, you coming?”

Jared, John, Eric, Holly and I went out the front and watched the first band play a short set of songs. The band on stage were young and I actually enjoyed watching them. Once they finished, the guys said they were going backstage again and me and Holly followed behind. As we began walking down the corridor, I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks and gasped. The guys continued up ahead as Holly’s eyes followed where I was looking and she stopped as well.

“Oh you have got to be kidding me,” I groaned. I never thought to ask John who else was playing that night. It hadn’t once occurred to me that this could happen. That the boy who broke my heart would be at this very same gig. But now there he was, stood leaning against the wall with his arm draped around some short brunette girl, the complete opposite of me.

“Do you want to go?” Holly asked beside me.

“No, I can do this,” I told her, grabbing her arm and marching towards him, concentrating only on getting back to the room we were in before. He was all over this girl, I just hoped he wouldn’t notice me walking by. As we got closer, I tightened my grip on Holly’s hand before reaching for the door handle to the dressing room for The Maine.

“Well, well, if it isn’t my least favourite band whore,” I heard his voice say. I took a deep breathe, ignoring it and twisting the handle. “Got nothing to say now? What a shame.”

“Just leave it, won’t you?” Holly defended.

“Oh and she’s got a spokeswoman!” he scoffed.

“You know nothing!” I spat out, turning to see his face for the first time since we’d broken up. “And I am not a band whore, you are the one sleeping with everyone on the road whilst I stayed here and waited for you.”

“Whatever you say,” he replied. “So what are you doing here now? Couldn’t stay away from me?”

“You wish-” I began, before getting interrupted by someone coming out of the dressing room.

“What’s going on out here?” Garrett asked, as I turned to see him and John looking confused.

“Nothing, I just need to get out of here,” I mumbled, before walking down the corridor and out of the back exit of the building. Once I got outside, I breathed heavily, trying to calm down. Closing my eyes, I leaned my head again the wall and began shutting out the world.

“So you and Stephen, huh?” I recognised the voice immediately, opening my eyes to see him come out of the building.

“You didn’t have to follow me, I just wanted to be alone.”

“No one wants to be alone,” John said, coming closer. “So is he why you hate me?”

“I guess, I’m sorry,” I said, quietly.

“Don’t be,” he said softly back. “You wanna talk about it?”

“He called me a band whore, but I never once cheated on him,” I blurted out. “And I was never with him because he was in a band and I would never have gone after another guy in band.”

“I can tell.”

“He was the one cheating, I caught him and still took him back but the second time it happened, that was it between us,” I told him. “And I swore I’d never trust a guy in a band again.”

“Oh...” John said beside me.

“I’m sorry, I’m sure you’re a nice guy John, but I can’t do this.”

I said goodbye and walked back to where I’d parked my car without giving John a chance to say anything else.