All Yours Somehow

“Is he here?” I asked, as I looked at the boy who opened the door.

“Yeah, hold on, I’ll get him. Please, come in,” he smiled.

As I stepped into the familiar house, a strange feeling came over me. I hadn’t been here in over six months now, so it felt weird to be back. I looked around the hallway and noticed that nothing had changed. The same photos hung on the walls, the same plants next to the door.

“Well, well, look who found their way back,” a familiar voice called, as he walked down the stairs. “Here to win me back?”

“Not in this world, Stephen,” I scoffed. “I found some more of your stuff a while back that I’ve been meaning to bring back to you,” I said, holding the box in my hands out to him. “I was just going to through it away.”

“Sure it wasn’t a reason just to see me again?” he half-smiled. I used to be sucker for that smile but now, it did nothing. he disgusted me.

“When did you become such a dick?” I asked as Stephen rolled his eyes at me. “I just want it gone. I want nothing else to do with you,” I spat, ignoring him. “Ever.”

“Face it, Han, there’s always going to a history between us.”

“Yes, a history. But there is certainly no present and there will never be a future,” I told him. “So why don’t you go back to doing what you do best, which is getting drunk and finding the first girl that will fuck you, because that is all you have going for you.”

With that, I opened the front door and walked out his house. Since Stephen and I had broken up, I felt like having things of his meant he still had some kind of meaning to me, which he didn’t, I had just put off taking his box off stuff to him because I didn’t want to see his stupid face. As I got back in my car, I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself down. Finally, he was nothing to me. And John was something to me. John was nothing like Stephen. He wasn’t sarcastic and he wasn’t childish. He was sincere and he had a good mind. This lead me to the next place I had to go to.

I drove back down the streets of Phoenix and about twenty minutes later I was outside of John’s house. I walked slowly from my car to his front door and knocked on it. As it opened, I was pleased to see John standing there, looking as shocked as I was that I had gone there.

“Hannah?”

“Can we talk?” I asked.

“Of course, come in,” he said, letting me in and leading me back to his bedroom. Once we were both sat down, he turned back to me. “What’s up?”

“I owe you an apology,” I began.

“Han, you don’t need to explain anything,” he interrupted.

“John, please let me finish,” I said. “I want to apologize for how I’ve been since we met. I judged you immediately and thought you were going to be exactly like Stephen was. I think you can see that that did not end well, and I just didn’t want to get into that again. But as I thinking like that, I wasn’t letting myself move on at all. I didn’t want to let myself feel anything for any guy. When you came along in that coffee shop, I felt something I hadn’t for a long time and I thought that maybe I was getting over everything and it was so great, but then finding out you in a band, I just couldn’t handle it,” I explained. “But you’re not like that, John, I can see that now. And last night was great and not a mistake at all. In fact, I just want to try something.”

With that, I got up from the chair I was sat on and moved to next him on the edge of his bed. I sat close, turned my body to him, placed one hand on his cheek and pulled his face to mine. As our lips met, I could tell it had so much more meaning behind it than last night. I was finally letting myself enjoy this again. He put an arm around my waist and pulled me tight to him as we pressed our lips harder to each others. When we broke apart, I opened my eyes to find him looking straight back at me, with concern laced across his face.

“Was that...?” he breathed.

“Yeah, that felt right, didn’t it?” I breathed back. He half-smiled and pulled my head back to mine and kissed me several more times. “I’m. Sorry. I. Took. So. Long,” I said between kisses.

“Doesn’t matter,” he mumbled. “We got here now.”

He pulled us down so we were laying down on his bed and rolled so he was on top of me. I kept my hands tangled in his long hair as his hands stroked up and down my sides and across my stomach.