Status: Updates every four days.
We Way? Three Way!
Borderline, in that case.
Ooh la la! Look at all the pretty carpet threads!
“Not cool!” Alas, poor Natalie was the subject of an extremely unusual game/contest between the guys… but Jillian seemed to be enjoying herself as she rolled across her floor.
“It smells like coffee.” I noted, licking my finger before sticking it in the air. “And it seems to be coming from… THAT general direction.” And I stalked off in hopes of finding a kitchen. “Natalie, stop playing with Ray and help me find food!” I whined.
“I’m a little busy right now, WOULD YOU PUT ME DOWN, DAMN IT!”
“…Jillian, I’m hungry! Help me find food!”
“Dude, just follow your nose or something, there’s a huge ass spider in front of my door and I think I’m trapped.”
“Ooh! Let Becca see it!” I ran to go see the spider, but someone pulled me back.
“No no no no no no no no no,” Frank rushed out. “Spiders are scary, and it’s a buff guy’s job to deal with them.”
“So should Becca get Ray…?” Ha. Rejected.
“…Why don’t you just let me take a look at it first? Kitchen’s down the other stairs and to your left. Can’t miss it.”
“Fine fine fine, but if you chicken out I’m not getting the peanut butter.”
“The wha-?” But I was already heading off to the kitchen in hopes of finding something good to eat. I was 5 foot 6, and as such, needed my daily fill of junk food to make sure I stayed that way.
“Ray, Frank needs help with big scary spider.” I said as I passed the living room where everyone else had gathered. After spending most of my life in a single large room, this house was going to take a ton of getting used to.
“I spy with my little eye, a hungry man’s treasure- that is my prize!” I exclaimed happily, opening a cabinet to find it full of food.
“Yeah, we read her too much Dr. Seuss when she was little.” I heard Jill explain.
“That, or let her read too many I spy books…” Natalie mused.
“But we still have the problem on who’s the dad in this relationship.” Jill added.
“Well, uh,” Gerard started, and I walked into the room with two poptarts sticking out of my mouth.
“We can ALL be your dads!” Frank said happily, holding onto Mikey’s leg, probably after running down the stairs to get away from the spider. But seeing as how Jill was in the room, Ray got it.
“But if we have three kids going around yelling “Dad!” How do we know who’s who?” Mikey asked.
“Different names?” Natalie suggested.
“Daddy G!” Jillian cried, pointing at Gerard.
“Daddy Longlegs.” Natalie decided, nodding at Frank. He looked at her funny.
“You hate spiders, and you’re shorter than Becca which officially makes you short. Irony.” She explained.
“Does that make Becca short…?” I asked.
“More like… borderline, in that case.” Mikey decided.
“Daddio?” I suggested hopefully.
“…no.”
“Papa?”
“Better, I guess…”
“Holy shit… if we’re all your dads, does that make us all married…?” Daddy G asked. Then he and Papa
looked at each other and their faces contorted to look like they got a mouth full of lemon.
“Padre.” Ray raised his hand.
“Works for us.”
“What about Bob?”
“I don’t know who he is, but Bob can be Mommy,” I suggested, and Padre face palmed Daddy Longlegs burst into hysterical laughter, Papa smiled, and Daddy G just kind of stood there, looking like he was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah.” Daddy Longlegs said when he finally stopped laughing. “Bob can be Mommy.”
“He’s not going to be happy about that…”
“But look at their sweet little innocent faces!” The three of us beamed angelically as Frank pointed at us.
“He won’t be able to tell them no, and if I can get him responding to Mommy on tape, I can die a happy, happy, short little man.” Alright, calling them by their father nicknames is getting confusing. In my head, they can be whoever the hell I want them to be.
“Not cool!” Alas, poor Natalie was the subject of an extremely unusual game/contest between the guys… but Jillian seemed to be enjoying herself as she rolled across her floor.
“It smells like coffee.” I noted, licking my finger before sticking it in the air. “And it seems to be coming from… THAT general direction.” And I stalked off in hopes of finding a kitchen. “Natalie, stop playing with Ray and help me find food!” I whined.
“I’m a little busy right now, WOULD YOU PUT ME DOWN, DAMN IT!”
“…Jillian, I’m hungry! Help me find food!”
“Dude, just follow your nose or something, there’s a huge ass spider in front of my door and I think I’m trapped.”
“Ooh! Let Becca see it!” I ran to go see the spider, but someone pulled me back.
“No no no no no no no no no,” Frank rushed out. “Spiders are scary, and it’s a buff guy’s job to deal with them.”
“So should Becca get Ray…?” Ha. Rejected.
“…Why don’t you just let me take a look at it first? Kitchen’s down the other stairs and to your left. Can’t miss it.”
“Fine fine fine, but if you chicken out I’m not getting the peanut butter.”
“The wha-?” But I was already heading off to the kitchen in hopes of finding something good to eat. I was 5 foot 6, and as such, needed my daily fill of junk food to make sure I stayed that way.
“Ray, Frank needs help with big scary spider.” I said as I passed the living room where everyone else had gathered. After spending most of my life in a single large room, this house was going to take a ton of getting used to.
“I spy with my little eye, a hungry man’s treasure- that is my prize!” I exclaimed happily, opening a cabinet to find it full of food.
“Yeah, we read her too much Dr. Seuss when she was little.” I heard Jill explain.
“That, or let her read too many I spy books…” Natalie mused.
“But we still have the problem on who’s the dad in this relationship.” Jill added.
“Well, uh,” Gerard started, and I walked into the room with two poptarts sticking out of my mouth.
“We can ALL be your dads!” Frank said happily, holding onto Mikey’s leg, probably after running down the stairs to get away from the spider. But seeing as how Jill was in the room, Ray got it.
“But if we have three kids going around yelling “Dad!” How do we know who’s who?” Mikey asked.
“Different names?” Natalie suggested.
“Daddy G!” Jillian cried, pointing at Gerard.
“Daddy Longlegs.” Natalie decided, nodding at Frank. He looked at her funny.
“You hate spiders, and you’re shorter than Becca which officially makes you short. Irony.” She explained.
“Does that make Becca short…?” I asked.
“More like… borderline, in that case.” Mikey decided.
“Daddio?” I suggested hopefully.
“…no.”
“Papa?”
“Better, I guess…”
“Holy shit… if we’re all your dads, does that make us all married…?” Daddy G asked. Then he and Papa
looked at each other and their faces contorted to look like they got a mouth full of lemon.
“Padre.” Ray raised his hand.
“Works for us.”
“What about Bob?”
“I don’t know who he is, but Bob can be Mommy,” I suggested, and Padre face palmed Daddy Longlegs burst into hysterical laughter, Papa smiled, and Daddy G just kind of stood there, looking like he was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah.” Daddy Longlegs said when he finally stopped laughing. “Bob can be Mommy.”
“He’s not going to be happy about that…”
“But look at their sweet little innocent faces!” The three of us beamed angelically as Frank pointed at us.
“He won’t be able to tell them no, and if I can get him responding to Mommy on tape, I can die a happy, happy, short little man.” Alright, calling them by their father nicknames is getting confusing. In my head, they can be whoever the hell I want them to be.