Status: Updates every four days.
We Way? Three Way!
Natalie Can Cook
“Plié! Plié! You are a graceful butterfly, not a floundering bullfrog!” My instructor, Nadia, yelled at me. She was actually really nice, she just had to yell at me to get me to do the moves right sometimes. Well, a lot of the time since I wasn’t so good. Hastily, I tried to follow what she was doing.
“Good, good, now show me the rond de jambe we were working on.” Cue the head tilt and the confused stare. “The half portal drawing with your toe.”
“Oh!” I replied, tracing out the movement with my foot.
“This was a good second class. I’ll see you next Tuesday.” Nadia said, ushering me out the door where Daddy Longlegs was waiting for me. “And remember, plié, not pliers, and rond de jambe, think of it like drawing a ‘D’ on the ground.”
“Thanks Ms. Nadia!” I called over my shoulder as I exited the dance studio. A couple of tap dancers glared at me on the way out. Ms. Nadia never explained things to them like she did to me because I was just that damn special. I came into the house to find that my usual evening meal of chocolate milk and cereal was not there. In its place were 8 bowls filled with molten yellow deliciousness. Cheese soup, gift of the gods.
“I can COOK!” Natalie exclaimed, accidentally flinging a spoon across the room where it hit the wall and stuck there for a minute, before clattering loudly to the floor.
“Can Becca have the dinosaur spoon?” I asked as we all sat down together, for once. Most of the time we ate in assorted rooms, several TV’s going and no one really paying attention.
“You got it last time. You can have the unicorn, though.”
“But that’s like eating off of Cupcake’s head!”
“Fine, take the spider.” Natalie replied, throwing the spoon at my head. We had animal spoons because we refused to eat anything spoon worthy without them. Personally, I used them for just about every food. Mainly pizza. The frog was good for eating pizza.
“This is actually not toxic. Good job, kid.” Jill said, patting Natalie’s head.
“Dude, you’re only a few months older than me.”
“Too bad.”
“Then it’s too bad that I’m gonna tell them what you did the last concert.”
“And what would that be…?” Ray asked
“Jill got drunk and then she tried to kill us all, and then she didn’t share her food and we called Brendon Urie, but he couldn’t come because he’s in Vegas, so Jill ordered a pizza and I woke up in the sink.”
“Jillian Ierotorowaybryar! You can’t kill people!” Gerard yelled.
“But I was drinking juice! And it was f*cking delicious!”
“Oh… well then…”
“Becca’s getting out of here. Thanks for the body nourishment, Natalie. Cupcake’s hair isn’t going to braid itself.”
“Cupcake’s a boy, Becca. I don’t think he wants his hair braided.” Ray replied
“But he told me he did. Are you calling Cupcake a liar?”
Ray sighed. “I just got accused of accusing a stuffed unicorn of being a liar, didn’t I?” He asked as I retreated up the stairs and into my room. I’d covered all the walls in chalk drawings, which was good because I could just wash them away when I got bored of them. Picking up Cupcake off my bed, I put his mouth to my ear.
“What do you mean you agree with Ray?” I asked, irritated, dropping him off the side of the bed and crossing my arms over my chest before hurriedly picking him up again.
“Sorry man…” I apologized, before turning him to face the opposite way so I could change into my pajamas. After running into the bathroom to scrub out my mouth, I tucked in Cupcake, and then sprawled unceremoniously over the blankets of my bed.
“Good, good, now show me the rond de jambe we were working on.” Cue the head tilt and the confused stare. “The half portal drawing with your toe.”
“Oh!” I replied, tracing out the movement with my foot.
“This was a good second class. I’ll see you next Tuesday.” Nadia said, ushering me out the door where Daddy Longlegs was waiting for me. “And remember, plié, not pliers, and rond de jambe, think of it like drawing a ‘D’ on the ground.”
“Thanks Ms. Nadia!” I called over my shoulder as I exited the dance studio. A couple of tap dancers glared at me on the way out. Ms. Nadia never explained things to them like she did to me because I was just that damn special. I came into the house to find that my usual evening meal of chocolate milk and cereal was not there. In its place were 8 bowls filled with molten yellow deliciousness. Cheese soup, gift of the gods.
“I can COOK!” Natalie exclaimed, accidentally flinging a spoon across the room where it hit the wall and stuck there for a minute, before clattering loudly to the floor.
“Can Becca have the dinosaur spoon?” I asked as we all sat down together, for once. Most of the time we ate in assorted rooms, several TV’s going and no one really paying attention.
“You got it last time. You can have the unicorn, though.”
“But that’s like eating off of Cupcake’s head!”
“Fine, take the spider.” Natalie replied, throwing the spoon at my head. We had animal spoons because we refused to eat anything spoon worthy without them. Personally, I used them for just about every food. Mainly pizza. The frog was good for eating pizza.
“This is actually not toxic. Good job, kid.” Jill said, patting Natalie’s head.
“Dude, you’re only a few months older than me.”
“Too bad.”
“Then it’s too bad that I’m gonna tell them what you did the last concert.”
“And what would that be…?” Ray asked
“Jill got drunk and then she tried to kill us all, and then she didn’t share her food and we called Brendon Urie, but he couldn’t come because he’s in Vegas, so Jill ordered a pizza and I woke up in the sink.”
“Jillian Ierotorowaybryar! You can’t kill people!” Gerard yelled.
“But I was drinking juice! And it was f*cking delicious!”
“Oh… well then…”
“Becca’s getting out of here. Thanks for the body nourishment, Natalie. Cupcake’s hair isn’t going to braid itself.”
“Cupcake’s a boy, Becca. I don’t think he wants his hair braided.” Ray replied
“But he told me he did. Are you calling Cupcake a liar?”
Ray sighed. “I just got accused of accusing a stuffed unicorn of being a liar, didn’t I?” He asked as I retreated up the stairs and into my room. I’d covered all the walls in chalk drawings, which was good because I could just wash them away when I got bored of them. Picking up Cupcake off my bed, I put his mouth to my ear.
“What do you mean you agree with Ray?” I asked, irritated, dropping him off the side of the bed and crossing my arms over my chest before hurriedly picking him up again.
“Sorry man…” I apologized, before turning him to face the opposite way so I could change into my pajamas. After running into the bathroom to scrub out my mouth, I tucked in Cupcake, and then sprawled unceremoniously over the blankets of my bed.