Status: Updates every four days.
We Way? Three Way!
How Not To Burn The House Down
"Natalieeeeeee!" Becca whined, putting way too many vowels at the end of the name. "I want more chicken noooooow!"
"I'm cooking as fast as possible! Just wait one minute!" Natalie answered, running all over the kitchen with culinary items.
"We're hungry too..." Frank joined in whining.
"...I can cook." I said quietly. Then everyone was staring at me.
“You seem like someone who would burn the house down.” Ray said
“Don’t you talk to my daughter that way!” Bob yelled, then blushed. “Holy fucking shit, man. I sound like a mom!” He then covered his mouth and ran upstairs, probably to cry over the last shreds of his manhood. We were all silent for a while after that.
“No, but seriously. I can cook.” I said.
“Why not. Let’s give her a chance.” Mikey, of all people, said. I smiled and ran for a pan. Gerard told Ray to stand next to me with a fire extinguisher. I ran back and forth from the freezer to the counter and pulled out whatever I could find that seemed like it might go together. Some frozen vegetable fried rice, some bags of frozen vegetables (The only reason those were even in the house was because people got kicked in the balls more often than in most houses.), some sort of fake meat that only Frank and I ate, and some ramen that someone made at one point, then stuck in the freezer and forgot about. I also found some sort of asian-looking sauce thing. Then I put all the things together in the pan.
“So... what exactly are you making?” Mikey asked, peering over my shoulder at a massive blob of multicolored... stuff.
“You’ll see.” I said, going through a cabinet and adding random spices until it smelled nice.
“I made food without burning the house down!” I shouted. “Everybody come and see!”
Within seconds, a house full of some hungry people showed up in front of me, except for Bob. He was still having a panic attack in his room.
Natalie put the food on plates.
“I call it Whatever-The-Fuck-Is-In-The-Freezer Stir Fry.” I announced.
“Did you poison us?” Gerard asked.
“No.”
“Did you unintentionally poison us?”
“Hopefully not.”
“Okay then.”
Becca took a bite.
“This is actually not bad...” she said. Everyone else started eating it after that. It really wasn’t, and I was quite proud of myself for making something edible. Ugh... my stomach hurts.
"I'm cooking as fast as possible! Just wait one minute!" Natalie answered, running all over the kitchen with culinary items.
"We're hungry too..." Frank joined in whining.
"...I can cook." I said quietly. Then everyone was staring at me.
“You seem like someone who would burn the house down.” Ray said
“Don’t you talk to my daughter that way!” Bob yelled, then blushed. “Holy fucking shit, man. I sound like a mom!” He then covered his mouth and ran upstairs, probably to cry over the last shreds of his manhood. We were all silent for a while after that.
“No, but seriously. I can cook.” I said.
“Why not. Let’s give her a chance.” Mikey, of all people, said. I smiled and ran for a pan. Gerard told Ray to stand next to me with a fire extinguisher. I ran back and forth from the freezer to the counter and pulled out whatever I could find that seemed like it might go together. Some frozen vegetable fried rice, some bags of frozen vegetables (The only reason those were even in the house was because people got kicked in the balls more often than in most houses.), some sort of fake meat that only Frank and I ate, and some ramen that someone made at one point, then stuck in the freezer and forgot about. I also found some sort of asian-looking sauce thing. Then I put all the things together in the pan.
“So... what exactly are you making?” Mikey asked, peering over my shoulder at a massive blob of multicolored... stuff.
“You’ll see.” I said, going through a cabinet and adding random spices until it smelled nice.
“I made food without burning the house down!” I shouted. “Everybody come and see!”
Within seconds, a house full of some hungry people showed up in front of me, except for Bob. He was still having a panic attack in his room.
Natalie put the food on plates.
“I call it Whatever-The-Fuck-Is-In-The-Freezer Stir Fry.” I announced.
“Did you poison us?” Gerard asked.
“No.”
“Did you unintentionally poison us?”
“Hopefully not.”
“Okay then.”
Becca took a bite.
“This is actually not bad...” she said. Everyone else started eating it after that. It really wasn’t, and I was quite proud of myself for making something edible. Ugh... my stomach hurts.