Affinity

I pulled up to the driveway and stuffed my Ipod into my bag. I slowly walked the paved walkway up to the house. I knocked four times and heard quick footsteps when the door opened. The door revealed him in a dark blue tank top and black shorts. His hair was all over the place and a little past a over his shoulder. He leaned against his doorway and folded his arms across his chest.

"Turner, to what do I owe the visit?" He said, a smile forming on his face.

"What I can't see my best friend anymore?" I asked throwing my hands in the air.

"Not after you haven't talked to me in four weeks!" He said repeating my action.

Joel Kanitz, my childhood best friend, the only person allowed to call me by my last name, the guy who always knew how I felt. I bounced on the balls of my feet not saying anything. Joel smiled and picked me up swinging me around. He set me down and grabbed my hand.

"We have a lot of catching up to do young lady."

We walked up into his room and up the stairs. I smiled looking at all the family portraits on the wall. I sat down on his bed and started playing with the rub-ix cube he had on his bed trying to avoid conversation.

"So tell me Turner, what brings you to the Kanitz household." He said sitting next to me.

"Oh you know, just dropping by." I said concentrating on the puzzle.

He took the rubix cube from by hand and threw it aside. I looked up to him in mock horror bringing my hand up to my mouth. He quickly smiled but his smile quickly faded.

"What's wrong?" He said grabbing my hand. "Tell me."

I smiled, "Nothing's wrong Joel."

He laughed throwing his back. "Don't lie to me."

John hadn't called me in two weeks, no text, no voice mail; nothing. I wasn't worried, I was insecure. A word that nobody associated me with, a word that haunts me. I couldn't tell Joel he would most likely yell at me and tell me something like, Turner what is this shit!. Joel believes I'm strong, that things don't phase me but little does he know. I walked up and walked away, just like that. Joel stopped me his hand wrapping around my forearm.

"Don't leave. Please." He said his voice low and pleading.

"I'm sorry."



I rushed to the front door when I heard a car parking in the drive way; the van. Different emotions disseminated through my body, confusion,happiness. The guys slowly made there way out of the van and into the house. I greeted all of them with warm smiles and tight hugs. John was the last one to exit the van he waled toward me and set his bags down.

"Hi." He said smiling.

I stared blankly at him not saying anything, not sure what to say. He frowned at my expression and grabbed my waist pulling my body closer to him. Chills shot through my body and my arms went stiff at my side.

"I missed you." He said his face getting closer to me.

I grabbed his face and kissed him a sense of relief went through me when he kissed me back. His hand at the small of my back pushing me closer to him. He drew away from me and smiled. Should I just ask him why the hell he didn't call. I shook the thought from my head. He was on tour, he must of been busy and tired.

"Let's go inside." John suggested grabbing my hand.

Inside the boys were opening boxes of beer, so typical.

"Don't you guys have other things to do than drink?" I asked sitting on the couch with John.

"John make your bitch shut up." Kennedy said in our direction a beer in his hand.

"Fuck off Kennedy, go cut that lesbian hair of yours." I shot back throwing a pillow at him.

"Be nice." John said from next to me his eyes glued to the tv screen.

"Yeah Turner, just shut the fuck up already."

I looked up and saw Joel entering the door he shot a look at me and waved. My heart sank and guilt took over my body. I sat closer to John and was relived when he put his arm around me, only to be disappointed when he was just reaching for a beer.

"Is this Ignore Stella day?" I said getting up and crossing my arms.

"What are you doing?" John said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Question is what were you doing the past two weeks? Not a text, or a voice mail, John?." I said anger seeping through my teeth.

"You're blowing this out of proportion."

"Am I really? Okay then I'll leave if i'm such a nuisance to you all."

"Stella wait!" Pat yelled following me outside.

"I do not have the patience Kirch."

"Listen just know I never thought you would pick John."

I stopped walking and turned to face him. "What?"

"Just be careful with your feelings around him."

"Pat did you take your medications this morning."

"Wake up Stella. Notice how he acts around you, don't be so oblivious."

"Okay, that's fucking enough." I said giving Pat a stern look, my teeth were clenched and so were my fists.

"I warned you." Pat said walking away into the house.

He left me there to dwell upon my thoughts, my mind was racing and I was angry. Was this relationship what I needed or was it what I wanted?