Manage Me, I'm A Mess

The next few days passed slowly & quietly, Kenlee & Marc-Andre barley said a word to each other. He thought she just needed a little time to rest but it had been 3 long days of the same routine. He was wrong & that rarely happened. He had decided that he was going to make her spill everything as soon as he got some shut eye but that talk came a lot sooner than he had expected.

“AHHHHH!” Marc-Andre heard Kenlee’s screams radiate throughout his home waking him from his slumber. The tall boy jumped from his bed, the hardwood floors were cold on his bare feet as he made his way down the hall straight towards Kenlee’s room. Marc-Andre slowly peaked through the door, glancing at the girl sitting on the bed in front of him. She was drenched in sweat & she had a scared look on her pretty face.

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly not wanting to startle her if she hadn’t noticed his presence. It seemed like him just walking in unannounced had been frightening her a lot lately.

“I just had a bad dream.” She explained as she caught her breath noticing the worried look on his face. “No worries.” She said trying to leave it at that but after hearing her explanation his expression didn’t go away. It couldn’t go away; it took him back to all of those summer nights in Sorel. The one place he knew she felt safe, the one season she’d be away from California, away from her abusive father. She never felt comfortable or safe enough to tell anybody, except him. The pale, dark haired, French man standing in her doorway at 3am.

“Just a bad dream?” He questioned her, not believing a word she said as he tip toed closer to her. “Your heart is racing.” He said, noticing as he had gotten closer. “Seems more like a nightmare…” His mind began to wonder, he had dealt with this before. They couldn’t be back, not after the years of therapy & the arresting of her father. “Are they back?” He asked almost too bluntly, not startling the girl one bit. She didn’t have to say a word the one salty tear sliding down her cheek said it all & then she nodded her head full of dark brown locks, solidifying the answer he already knew.

Actions speak louder than words & Marc-Andre didn’t say a thing. He gently climbed underneath the white comforter into the warmness that the crying girl in front of him had created. He wanted to comfort her, he wanted to make everything better, he just wanted to hold her in his arms & let her know everything was going to be alright but he couldn’t. He didn’t know if everything was going to be alright because he didn’t know what was going on. He was confused, from the random phone call & her unexpected trip to Pittsburgh to her reoccurring nightmares returning. He didn’t just want answers, he needed them.

“What aren’t you telling me Roo?” he asked quietly breaking the silence after a few minutes. “You know I’m not leaving until you tell me, because that’s what friends do.” He continued not receiving a response yet again. For the second time that night they were left with the sound of breathing & hearts beating.

The silence continued for what seemed like hours, which was in reality only minutes.

“My boyfriend” She said faintly, in almost a whisper, holding back every emotion that was surging through her tiny body. “Ex-boyfriend” she corrected herself before pausing, thinking of ways to word what she needed to say next. “He’s not the same person I met last year.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, afraid he knew what she meant.

“He…” She trailed off waiting for the right words to come to her. “He drinks a lot.” She said her green eyes meeting his brown for a moment. “He says he doesn’t remember.” She managed to choke out before the tears finally broke through.

It was exactly what he was afraid of, Kenlee’s father was the same way. But her mother never did anything about it & in the end it cost the woman her life. In one swift motion he comforted her like no one else could as his right hand lay perfectly on the small of her back.

“How long?” He asked her as he slowly pulled her a little closer to him letting her rest he head on his shirtless shoulder.

“6 months.” She said burying her face into the crook of his neck. She didn’t want to look him in the eyes, she didn’t want to see the disappointment that was covering his beautiful face.

“Dammit Kenlee” The way he used her first name sent shivers down her spine, she wasn’t used to it. “Why would you wait so long?” He asked concern oozing from every word.

“He kept telling me it wouldn’t happen again, & I listened every time. I didn’t have anybody else.” She said wiping the tears from her wet cheeks.

“I’ve always been here, you were the one that stopped answering my phone calls & texts, so don’t say you didn’t have anybody else.” He said, he couldn’t help but get a little angry over her last statement. She was the reason they had stopped talking for a good 8 months after he got drafted & she was the reason they lost touch for 2 weeks recently.

She had no comment because she knew he was right. Marc-Andre instantly felt bad for bringing up another issue, they didn’t need to open two cans of worms in one night. He squeezed her side reassuring her that he was there for her regardless. The tiny girl winced in pain at his touch; he immediately looked at her waiting for an explanation. With no words she gently lifted her pink tank top revealing all the bruises she was trying to hide. He had a way with her; he was the only man in her life that never touched her like that, the only man in her life that she trusted with every part of her body. He had nothing to say just like so many summers before & with that he lay down next to her wrapping his strong arms around her tiny broken body pulling her as close as possible. Remembering the way his arms had felt gently cradling her body like so many times before she slowly closed her eyes, & for the first time in a long time she felt like she was safe.