Baby, I'm a Lightweight

“Do you really want to do Rumor Mill?” Skye asked me while he fixed his hair. We were both in the dressing room of yet another venue getting our hair ready. “It’s kind of…I don’t know…it’s rather old.”
“What else would you suggest that we do, Skye?” I huffed. “Cause I’m really stumped here,”
“I think that we should go with Masquerade…personally. I like it so much better, and I guess that it just makes sense.”
“We haven’t released that song yet…” I trailed off. “Why do you think that we should play it?”
Skye smiled.
“Cause I love the awesome guitar part in it! Is that so horrible?”
I shrugged.
“Fine, just let the others know that we’re changing the song,”
“Thanks!” He hugged me tightly, and bolted out of the room. I rolled my eyes at him, and went back to messing up my hair for the stage tonight. I was ready within minutes afterward. I honestly don’t know how many song about Jonathan that I directly want to play. Sure, most of them are about him. He has been a constant in my life for the past three odd years. It’s just still hard writing songs about him and for him, and then playing them on stage every night. I really don’t know how he stands through every set of ours with a calm face. He’s always been more composed that myself.
“Skye said that we’re playing Masquerade?” Colton furrowed his brows. “Why in the hell are we playing it instead of Rumor Mill?”
I sighed and smiled slightly at him.
“He wanted to play it, Colt. Come on, we’re usually the ones to make the set list. Just let Skye have this one. I’m just nervous ‘cause we’ve never played it for people before.” I explained to him as I turned back toward the mirror to finish my eyeliner.
“I mean…I’m okay with it…it’s just weird,” Colton stated, leaning against the doorway. “Are you okay?”
I shrugged.
“I’m feeling kinda down today. Nothing really out of the ordinary,”
“I worry about you, Kar.” He sighed. “You’ve been kind of out since you and Jonathan broke up,
“I know, Colt…” I trailed off. “I really messed up, and I’m trying really hard not think about it. I’m trying to keep my mind on performing, and writing instead or him…it’s just hard.”
“Come here…” He trailed off. Colton opened his arms for me to step into. I quickly wrapped one of my best friends up in a tight hug. I snuggled my head into his neck, and I took a deep breath. “It’s okay…you don’t have to be a tough ass all of the time, ya know.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. “It’s hard…”
“I know,” He soothed, rubbing circles into my back slowly. “I love you, Kar. Just remember that I’m always here when you need to talk to me, okay?”
I nodded and hugged him closer to me.
“You’re my best friend, Colton.”
“I know. You’re mine,” He laughed lightly.
“Sometimes I wish that I could go back to when we were kids,”
“Amen to that,” He chuckled “I miss being so freaking carefree.”
“I know. I didn’t have to worry about any of this shit that I do now. Why does everything get so fucking complicated? Why did I have to grow up the way that I did?”
I felt him shrug his shoulders.
“I don’t know, Karma. I honestly don’t get life at all. All I know is that we’ve got to love.”
“Stop that,” I nearly laughed. “I’m being serious here,”
“So am I!” He poorly defended himself. “I want you to be happy, okay? You’ve been in such a funk lately. It’s not fair to you. What’s going on with you?”
“Colton there are so many things going on that you have no idea about,”
“Will you tell me?” He asked softly.
“Probably not…I haven’t told anyone anything like that in a long time,”
“Promise me that you won’t do anything stupid?” Colton asked me.
I laughed.
“I can’t promise you that, Colty. That one’s a hard one.”
Colton pulled away and cupped my head in his hands.
“You come to me if you ever need anything ever. You got that?” He asked me. I nodded in return. Colton hugged me tightly one more time, and then smiled. “Now let’s go kick some ass.”
“You got it,” I smiled widely at him.
“Let’s go,”
Colton walked out of the dressing room’s bathroom, and I followed him. We walked out of the room, being joined by the rest of the bands on our tour. It was almost seven, the time that the entire concert starts. I looked around the room for my friends and my ex-boyfriend. I felt a natural high come over me. I held out my hand for Colton’s and The District prayed with Forever The Sickest Kids, and Zack from All Time Low. After the prayer, we got drinks and passed them around. Lyle gave me a look and I nodded in return. It was time to give the ‘I’m happy you could join us’ speech. I wasn’t mad about it, I just feel awkward while making speeches to my friends.
“I’d like to first off to personally thank all of you for joining us on this tour. We’re extremely blessed to be able to have all of our friends that we’ve had for years join us. One of our first tours happened to be with All Time Low before they were even signed and still in high school. So it’s definitely a great feeling to be able to sing with Alex sometimes on Remembering Sunday, and to see how far they’ve come from those teenagers we first met.
I can’t believe that we’ve known each other for a few years, and to see how our fan bases have grown. It’s so weird. It’s a great feeling to know that people care about us. I love that we’re able to be on the Natural Disaster tour. It’s been a first four great shows so far, and I know that the rest of them are going to be equally as amazing. The party’s have been wonderful. Let’s kick some ass!” I stated loudly.”
“Nicely said,” Colton laughed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “You heard the gal! Hey Monday’s up,”
Cassadee came over to give us some hugs before her and her band ran off toward the stage. Caleb, Jonathan, Austin, Lyric soon followed along with Rian in tow. Zack went off to go call his wife Cayla while Jack jumped around randomly with Liz, the FTSK merch girl. Alex and his pregnant wife Katie were sharing some sweet kisses with each other while he had time before he had to go on the stage.
“Karma?”
My head snapped toward the voice, and I saw that it belonged to Kyle.
“Sup?”
“Can I talk to you right quick?”
I nodded my head, and walked over to a less-crowded area in the dressing room.
“What do you need to talk about, Kyle?”
He smiled sadly at me.
“You know that I adore you right, despite what happened?”
“Yeah…” I trailed off slightly.
“Well…I know that I’m not supposed to take sides and all…it’s just really hard when Jonathan’s my best friend. I care about both of you a lot. You’re both great friends, but he’s like my brother. I feel sort of awkward around you now. Does that make sense?”
“It does,” I nodded.
“You’re making this hard on him. I’ve had to deal with him during your break up, and it wasn’t pretty. He’s still hurting pretty badly. He doesn’t really sing the songs that he wrote about you, even the ones from the old records.”
“Oh…” I sighed. “I’m sorry about hurting him, Kyle. I don’t know how to make that much clearer. But my pain and thoughts flow through my music. I’m sorry if they’re blunt, or can come off rude. I’m not going to stop singing them because of Jonathan. I’m sorry. That may seem mean, but it’s my music. They’re my feelings.”
Kyle smiled sadly and nodded.
“I didn’t expect you to. Honestly, Jonathan asked me to talk to you. I told him that it wouldn’t work…”
“Why won’t he just ask me himself?” I raised my eyebrows. “I’m not going to kill him or anything,”
He shrugged.
“Watch our set tonight?”
“I guess…” I trailed off. “Maybe tomorrow?”
“Why not tonight?” Kyle nearly pouted.
“Is it really that important?” I asked jokingly.
“Please?” He begged, pulling the puppy dog face on me.
I rolled my eyes.
“Okay,” I agreed. “As long as you watch mine,”
“We always do,” He laughed. “Even Jonathan,”

♥

“How amazing where those bands?!” I yelled into my mic. “I love the bands that we have out on tour with us. I really do,”
“They’re great,” Skye agreed. “Forever The Sickest Kids definitely brought it tonight!”
“Hell yeah, they did!” I agreed. I watched the set that they played, but I only heard one song. They’re amazing performers. “So did Hey Monday and All Time Low! Give it up for them!”
“This next song…is a fun song. What do you think, Skye?”
“It’s one of my favorite to play. This is the FRIST TIME we’ve ever played it for an audience. So…I apologize if we mess up a little bit.” Skye replied.
I walked over toward Aiden, and took off my guitar to hand to him.
“I’m ready to dance!” I stated. “Just kidding. I don’t dance…that well.”
“You’re a pretty sexy dancer. I’m not gonna lie,” Colton playfully winked.
“Oh baby, please.” I joked, blowing a kiss to him. “We’re gonna be together forever. Just kidding…sort of. Anyway…”
“You guys are fucked,” Emmie giggled from behind her keyboard. “This next song is called Masquerade, and it goes a little like this.”

Hip shaker
Dream maker
Heart breaker
Earth quaker
I could be anything that you want me to.
Coin spender
Mind bender
Jet setter
Go getter
Changing my getup for anything you choose
I don’t mind tryin on someone else
I won’t mind seein just how it felt
I might like changing my disguise
To make you happy.

Here’s my formal invitation,
You and me go masquerading.
Loose ourselves in this charade
Is this love we’re imitating?
Do we want
What we’ve got
If not I, say so what
Here’s my formal invitation,
La, la, la, la

You can be my
School teacher,
Mind reader,
Dream weaver
Just be the one I can count on to play it out with me
Hot waitor,
Cool skater,
Trail blazer,
Pulse raisin
Naughty or nice,
Whatever you want to be.
You wanna try on someone else
You might like seein how it felt.
Do you mind changing your disguise,
If it makes me happy?

Here’s my formal invitation,
You and me go masquerading.
Loose ourselves in this charade
Is this love we’re imitating?
Do we want
What we’ve got
If not I, say so what
Here’s my formal invitation,
Let’s go,
Let’s go masquerading.

We’ll make it fun,
When it’s over and done
I still want you to see the real me
No more disguises,
Let true love decide if we should be together.

Here’s my formal invitation,
You and me go masquerading.
Loose ourselves in this charade
Is this love we’re imitating?
Do we want,
What we’ve got
If not I, say so what
Here’s my formal invitation,
Let’s go,
Let’s go masquerading.
La, la, la, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la.

I finished the song with a deep breath. That song was so intense. I got to dance around the stage the entire time, and I even kissed Skye. Call me a whore or whatever, but it’s just a stage kiss. It’s not like it’s the deepest meaning thing in the world either. I walked back over to Aiden, and he smiled at me. He tossed me back my guitar, and I easily slipped it on over my shoulder. The guys and I started to play The Middle again. I smiled as I sang. Singing makes me so much more happier than a lot of things do. All I would need the rest of my life is Elena and to be able to sing. My life would be complete.
“That’s it for us. You guys have been freaking amazing!” I yelled into my microphone after the encore. My band and myself ran off of the stage. It was another amazing show. I couldn’t be happier.

Well....I could, but that's history.