Warmness on my soul

I had a huge headache when I woke up the next morning. The fact I tried to call him a bunch of times and he didn’t answer me made me so much more confused. If he ran after me why wouldn’t he want to talk to me. I hated him so much right now and I was so confused… I felt like somebody had cut through my chest. I felt empty inside. I thought he would wait for me, I thought he was going to be there for me… but apparently he got tired of waiting.
“Honey, what’s wrong? You look like you didn’t sleep last night!”
“That’s because I didn’t Tanya…”
You already know Tanya. Of course she made me tell her everything. She said that she never thought he would do something like that. Me neither, I thought he really liked me. I was wrong. We had our time many years ago, and that wasn’t coming back… When I was getting ready for work she knocked on my bedroom door.
“Hey honey, Johnny’s here to talk to you… Should I tell him to come up?”
“Johnny? Yeah sure, send him up.”
After a couple of minutes Johnny knocked.
“Come in.”
“Good morning!” he hugged me.
“So what’s up?”
“Hey, I know everything, Syn told me.”
“Oh. What did he tell you then?”
“He told me that you walked on him and that girl last night…”
“Yeah I did.” I sat on the edge of the bed holding onto my elbows. Johnny joined me.
“Claire, he was really messed up yesterday.”
“I know, I noticed by the way he talked to me on the phone…”
“I don’t mean then. I mean when he got home after you saw what you saw.”
I couldn’t care less.
“He called me and asked me to go to his house, when I got there he was crying, saying that he lost you, he was really messed up…”
“He lost me? He never had me… And if he loved me that much why did he do that? I don’t understand…”
“From what he told me, you told him he was your best friend, and he couldn’t take it.”
“Couldn’t take it?”
“Damn, Claire! He fucking loves you and you know since the day you saw him again that you like him too. You’re just too stubborn to admit it.”
“Still, it’s not a reason for him to go to a bar an-”
“No, he got to the bar, he got drunk and that girl came up to him and tried to make out with him but nothing happened.”
“Sais who? You weren’t there Johnny…”
“But I believe him. Brian can be whatever you call him but he’s not a liar. And he wouldn’t lie to you. I believe him and you should too.”
“She was on his lap!”
“And he was trying to get her off of him! That’s why he had his hands on her waist. Claire, believe what you want. I’m not here to defend Syn. But I’m just saying, without you he’s fucking messed up. He’s been messed up for all these years thinking he would never see you again. Michelle was just a cover for hiding all those memories he had of you… And probably, hear that he was your best friend must’ve hurt him…”
“Hurt him? How do you think I felt? And it’s not like I haven’t tried to talk to him! I called him so many times but he didn’t answer! That makes me so confused, that I don’t know what to think anymore.”
“Claire, do you love him?”
“I,…- I’m late for work, you should go.”
“Ok, I’ll go, but you gotta promise me you go talk to him. At least you’ve got to be friends again. Go over to his house, talk to him face to face. He can’t run from you anymore and neither can you.”
“Yeah, I’ll go to his house this afternoon. I’ll grant him a chance.”
Johnny hugged me again.
“I didn’t know you were Brian’s confident now…”
“Ah, I just like to think I’m a good listener.”
When I told Andrea what had happened she was so pissed at Brian. She didn’t believe a word of what Johnny told me. I was still processing it. On my pause I was outside counting the cars on the street and my phone rang. Matt.
“How’s my favorite green eyed girl?”
“How’s my favorite lead singer?”
“I’m fine… but I know someone isn’t…”
“Oh, don’t need to say more… You already know, uh?”
“Yeah I know, Johnny had to tell us because today he’s not gonna show up in the studio.”
“Ok. What do you want me to say?”
“To me? Nothing. But you both need to solve things, or I’m afraid we’re gonna loose our lead guitarist if you don’t.”
“You still have Zacky…”
“Claire, I’m not joking. He feels horrible.”
“He and me both.”
“Then talk to him! Give him a chance to explain himself.”
“I’ll do that this afternoon. I told Johnny I would.”
“Good.”
“Are you guys gonna be there?”
“No, this is between you and Gates. Solve it.”
After Matt hung up I tried to call Brian again for the last time. If he didn’t answer I would go to his house. Didn’t answer.
I got home after work and I was nervous already.
“Do you got plans for today Claire?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Are you thinking of talking to him?”
“Yeah.”
“Then fuck already. You and Brian both need to get laid, that’s your problem.”
“I thought you were mad at him!”
“And I am. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you and you don’t love him, does it?”
“Well, I guess not…”
“So, you do love him, ah!”
“I didn’t say that! I hate you!”
I got to my room and decided to call Johnny. He was a good listener indeed.
“Hey, Johnny! I think I’ll go over to Brian’s now.”
“Yeah you should.”
“Are you there?”
“Actually I’m at his house, yes. But I’m leaving so you two can talk better.”
“Please don’t do that.”
“Are you afraid of Brian?”
“No I’m not afraid, I’m just nervous. He’s the one who’s not answering my calls… ”
“Well, maybe he’s nervous too. Good luck.”
I got ready and before I left, gave a look to the necklace placed on my bedside table. I hope I can wear it again one day.
I was so nervous and so mad at him. When I knocked on the door it felt like my heart was going to explode. When he opened the door it didn’t look like him. He was pale and looked tired. His hair was messy and he looked like he had been crying. When he saw me his eyes lit up.
“Claire! Come in.” He looked embarrassed and we were both nervous to be next to each other.
“Wanna drink something?”
“No. Thanks. Listen we need to talk. Abo-”
“Tell me about your day first.” he sat on the couch trying to delay our conversation and I wasn’t liking it.
“No, Brian! We need to talk now!”
“Are you sure, you don’t wanna have something before we-”
“No! How can you say that! ” I was literally screaming at him from the top of my lungs. His face got more serious now.
“Ok then.” He stood up facing me.
“Why did you ask if Johnny was here? Is it because it would make it easier? So you wouldn’t be alone with me?”
“It’s not easier! Bri, what I saw yes-”
“No, forget it…I don’t care.” he crossed his arms.
“Pff… I forgot you’re doing that now…”
“Doing what?”
“Doing what? Since yesterday, every time we get, what’s the word – close, anywhere in the neighborhood of emotion and vulnerability, you back off! Or make a joke, or find any way to shut the door on me…”
“Ah. Oh that’s hilarious… See, I’m not the one that took the big door and slammed it behind me…”
“Wait a minute…-”
“And I’m not the one who took the key and buried it.”
“Are we done using metaphors right now?”
“All I’m saying is that I was in love with you, and you didn’t even make an effort to keep in touch… And now that fucking douche did what he did to you, I love you, and you say I’m your best friend! How do you want me to feel?!”
“You would get thousands of chicks trying to get into your pants… and you say you still loved me? You really want me to believe that after all these years you still think about me!” We were shouting at each other. “Now here I am trying to be a good friend for you and find you at a bar with a fucking slut in your lap!”
“And I was trying to get her off of me.”
“And you want me to believe that?!”
“Yes! It’s the truth, and I now it may not sound so real right now, but I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you! I didn’t think of another person since you left!”
“Back then I just thought you would dump me!”
“Wooow, let’s not forget who dumped who, ok?” he was now in front of me.
“I though it was what you wanted!”
“Well, it wasn’t.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Well, you did.”
“I’m sorry!”
“Yeah, me too!”
We both stared at each other and my heart started beating fast when he looked right through my soul. He took a step in my direction and our faces were inches close. As an impulse we crashed our lips together and while he had his hands on my waist I pulled his hair. It was like an electric shock ran through my body and I couldn’t pull away. The feeling of his lips on mine was so intense that I wanted to be like that forever. His lips tasted just the same as when I left them. He still tasted like whiskey and cigarettes and I loved it. We started to make the kiss deeper and he pushed me against the wall. I let out a low moan and I felt Brian smile into the kiss as his hands travelled up and down my back. As the kiss was getting better I pushed him away and we were both panting for air.
“God, Freckles! Why did you stop?” our foreheads were pressed together.
“We- we can’t do this.”
“When will you admit that you still love me?” his hands cupped my face and he started kissing me again. This time our kiss was slow but passionate and I couldn’t deny it anymore. I put my hands around his neck and pulled his body closer to mine. We stood there against the wall as our tongues danced together in the perfect rhythm. Brian looked at me smirking making my knees go week.
“I missed you so much Claire.”
“I missed you too Bri…”
We were looking into each other’s eyes without saying a word. Suddenly we had to break up the eye contact because Pinkly started barking at us. He pulled away from me and we both laughed.
“I guess someone’s jealous…”
“Yeah, I guess so.” He started nuzzling into my neck.
“Bri, we can’t be here like this forever!”
“Yes we can…” he was now kissing my neck and things were getting too enjoyable. I pushed him off of me hard and he almost fell.
“What was that for?” he asked in a childish tone.
I laughed at him and he winked at me.
“Are you going to work now?” I asked.
“No.”
“But we solved things didn’t we. We’re friends again, aren’t we.”
He looked at me very serious.
“I’m joking Brian! You’re such an innocent little boy…” I gave him a quick kiss and he smiled.
“Don’t do that to me! Ever again! Or you’ll see where that innocence is going…”
“I should go… And you should go to the studio too, tell them the news!”
“The news? What news? That we’re friends again?”
We started laughing and he pulled me closer to him kissing me hard.
“Give me one good reason why I should work today when we both have a free afternoon, no friends to disturb us, a house all to ourselves…”
“You’re right. But what are you suggesting?”
“We could build a fort!”
“A fort?” I asked confused and he cracked up.
“Aaawwww freckles, my innocent little girl…” he whispered kissing me again.