Without You, I'm Just Me

I had late night dreams of Naomi. She danced in my head the whole night and I did nothing but miss her. My heart was full of love for her; I love the way she initiated the kisses and hugs.

As I got ready the next morning, my mom caught me coming out the bathroom. She smiled, "Hey, Pete. Goin' to pick up the boys?"

I hummed, "Me and Naomi are gonna take them to the pet center."

My mom grinned, "Thats nice! I take it Naomi isn't upset with you?"

"No, she isn't," I smiled back, "she's actually been...sweet. She said she was thankful for me telling her dad. And," I felt my cheeks grow warm, "she even kissed me."

My mom laughed, "Oh, I see Naomi's putting the moves on you?"

I chuckled, "Maybe."

My mom kissed my cheek, "Have fun, son. Bring them over later."

"Yeah, I will," I said, "I'll be back soon."

I left the house, after saying bye to my dad, and drove over to Naomi's parents. I knocked and was greeted inside by Abbey; she was getting ready, too, to go with Lee to buy supplies at the hardware store. Benji and Lewy both were in the living room when I went in. Benji immediately hopped into my lap, "I want a hamp-ster, daddy."

"We'll see what your mom says, alright? I'll try and get you one."

Benji grinned, "I really want one!"

"I want a fish!" Lewy joined in, "One with teeth!"

"Fishies don't have teeth, Lewy!" Benji told him.

"Uh-huh! Some do! Right, dad?"

I shrugged, "I have no clue. We'll ask someone at the store. Where's your mom?"

"She's putting on her makeup," Lewy said.

"I'm finished," Naomi came in that second, "Ready?"

She looked very comfortable and lot happier than yesterday. She wore jeans and these boots that looks to be very worn and broken in; an oversized sweatshirt that had the Dallas Cowboys logo on it and her hair was as it usually is; down and wavy. Her makeup was subtle; she looked amazing.

"We're ready," I said standing and placing Benji on my hip.

"Let's get going," Naomi took Lewy's hand, "remember, be good."

Benji looked at me excitedly, and smiled again. I gave him a wink, following Naomi and Lew out the door.


Lewy looked at the lizards, fascinated by them; Naomi was with him watching them. I had taken Benji to see the hamsters and the gerbils. He had grimaced when he saw them all huddled together, "Are they brothers?" He asked.

"I don't know," I answered.

"I don't want one, daddy," he said.

"How come?"

"They need brothers!" He said.

"You don't want to separate them?"

He nodded, "They'll be sad."

I picked him up again, "Yeah, I know what you mean, Benny."

We looked at the birds and then continued on to the fishes and tanks. We found Naomi and Lewy there; "Mommy's getting me a fish," he said to us.

Naomi looked back, "Did you see the hamsters, love?"

Benji nodded, "Yeah, they have lots of brothers."

"Do you want one?"

He shook his head and I explained, "He doesn't want the hamsters to be sad if he takes one of their brothers."

Naomi smiled, "Thats very sweet of you, Benji. Do you want a fish too, like Lewy?"

"Yeah."

It was a surprise that they both pick small clown fish. They spoke about it in their funny little language; "We're gonna share them," Lewy said.

"What're they're names?" The saleswoman asked them.

"Mines name is Fuzzy!" Lewy said.

Benji shrugged to her question, "I dunno."

Naomi bought a small tank and had it placed up front while the boys looked at the dogs. Benji liked cats, though, he thought they were cool because they could climb stuff. He said, "They make me think of monkeys!"

Benji fell in love with the kittens, petting them and picking one up to hold. He looked so happy with it, but we both knew Naomi wouldn't let them have a cat, she's allergic to them. When she called to us, we went over and I picked Benji up; she paid for the fishes, supplies and the tank, "Can you help me?" She asked me.

"Yeah," I set Benji down.

As soon as I came near her, she name a face indicating she was gonna sneeze. She stepped back and place a hand over her nose to sneeze. "Sorry," I said, "we were playing with cats."

"Just carry Benji and the fish," she said rubbing her nose, "Lewy's got the food."

I followed Naomi and Lewy back to the car, and they set everything in the trunk. Once we got in the car, Naomi looked at Benji and me both, "Baths for the both of you."

"What?" I grumbled, "Why?"

"You got cat fur on you," she said, "if you don't take those clothes off and wash up I'll be sneezing all day!"

"Fine," I grumbled jokingly.

Naomi smiled, rubbing her nose, "Thanks."

Naomi drove, driving to her house, sneezing a few times. We got to her place and she ordered me and Benji to go in first, giving me the keys; "Put your clothes in the wash."

"Okay, geez," I said, smiling at her.

Me and Benji went inside, heading to the laundry room; "Mommy's so bossy!" Benji said.

I chuckled, "Oh, man, that's why I like her so much."

Benji made a face, "Cuz she's the boss of you?"

"Sometimes," I shrugged, "I like her cuz she's pretty and bossy."

"She tells funny jokes too," Benji said slipping his shirt off, "here."

Me and Benji stripped down to our boxers and shivered. Naomi and Lew were already in the house and she was turning on the heat. She pointed to the bathroom, "You can leave your boxers on, just wash your hands and face really good."

"I don't think that's necessary," I grumbled again.

"I think it is," she gave me a look.

Lewy laughed at us, "Mommy's the boss."

I shook my head, laughing too, "C'mon, Benny."

Benji and I waited until the water was warm to slip in and wash our hands and face. I knelt down to help him, "This is weird!" Benji said.

"Yeah, but mom's the boss."

"Are you cat hair free?" Naomi asked.

"Yes!" Benji and me exclaimed.

"I brought towels," she turned the faucet off, "leave your boxers in there, Benji first."

Benji dropped his underwear, pulled the curtain back and hopped out, Naomi wrapped him up. She held him on her hip and gave me a towel, "I'm sure you can dry yourself."

I scoffed, "I think I need mom's help."

She smirked, "Only in your dreams, Wentz."

Benji giggled, "Why do you call daddy Wentz?"

Naomi hummed, "Thats what we all used to call him," she said, "his friends would call me Valentino," she looked back at me, "I have some clothes that should fit you in my room."

"Alright," I said as she smiled and left with Benji.

I dried up, wrapped the towel around myself and left the bathroom, headed straight to her room. I was a little put off at first if she meant Rob's clothes; I sure as hell didn't want to wear his damn underwear. I sat on the bed a minute, wondering; before I knew it Naomi returned, "You are so lucky this asshole hated to wash his own underwear," she tossed a package of brand new briefs at me.

"What?" I asked as I tore open the package.

"He said he didn't like the way I washed his underwear," she rolled her eyes, "he always kept a package in the laundry room."

"Fuckin' weirdo," I mumbled.

"I have some sweats in my drawer and old shirts of yours that should still fit. Your waist still the same as mine?"

"I dunno," I said slipping on the underwear.

Naomi went to her drawer and filed around before she tossed some black sweats at me and a t-shirt. It was my Pete! At the Disco shirt; I laughed, "I was looking for this."

"It's my favorite," she said, "I have never had a shirt that was as comfortable as that. I don't wear it a lot because I don't wanna mess it up."

I slipped it over my head, and watched her go to her closet. I slipped the sweats on, they fit perfectly; "Thanks," I said to her.

"You want a hoodie and some socks?"

"Yeah."

Naomi returned with a grey hoodie, "It's kinda big on me."

I pulled it on and zipped it up; she went back to the drawer and gave me green socks with cartoon monsters on them, "These were a Mother's Day gift, so don't mess them up."

I smiled, "Who gave 'em to you?"

"Benji," she smiled, "he said he didn't know what to get me, so he got his favorite thing; socks. I love them, I wear them usually when I head out of town."

"I have the pictures and clay hands they made me," I told her, "when I find my own place I'm gonna keep them somewhere I'll see them all the time," I put the socks on, "I hope I find a place close by."

"I'm sure you will," she said, "c'mon, lets go put these fishes in their new home, the kids are getting restless."

I followed Naomi to the living room where Benji and Lewy were tapping the tank where the fish were in, in their bag still. Naomi had said they needed to adjust to the water before you set them in. "Can we drop 'em in now?" Lewy asked.

"Okay," she said, "careful, Lewis."

I untied the top of the bag and helped Lewy drain the bag with the fish into the tank. Naomi set their overhead light on; the whole tank was set on a table beside the TV. Benji was in awe, "Looky, they likes it."

There was rocks and two fake castles that the 2 fish swam around. The boys stared at the fish, making quiet comments; Naomi had gotten up, "I'm gonna make some lunch, alright?"

"Okay," both of them said.

I got up too, following Naomi to the kitchen. She smiled at me, "You gonna help me?"

"You need it?"

"I think I can handle grilled cheese," she said.

"Do you need me to do anything?"

She was about to speak when her phone rang from the living, "Get my phone please?"

I went off, catching the boys still watching their fish. I grabbed Naomi's phone from her purse and returned to the kitchen, handing it off. She answered, pressing it to her ear, "Hello?"

Almost immediately all the color drained from her face.