Without You, I'm Just Me

Leaving the police station in my dad's car was definitely a surreal moment. It was as if this whole ordeal was some weird nightmare. A strange happening I made up for reasons unbeknownst to me.

The pain was real, though. The emotional and physical pain. My hand was bruised, damn near broken; my stomach churned with the thought of going to jail or prison for what I had done. Being away from my kids and Naomi, unable to protect them because I knew everything. Who would know what Rob had done besides me, Naomi and Lewy? Telling anyone would be the worst thing to do, for the sake that it was a miserable thing that happened; it was traumatic and I didn't want anyone to know.

My head hurt, along with my stomach and hand. I was so within my own head that I didn't really hear my dad talking to me or the fact that my phone wouldn't stop ringing. When I got to my parents, I finally snapped out of it, seeing that a lot of people, both friends and professional were calling. No doubt someone heard what happened and that spread out. I wasn't discrete about what I did to Rob and I was arrested at the W Hotel; who wouldn't find out that I was arrested?

"One of your publicists called," my dad said before we got out the car, "he wants to know what you've got to say."

"Nothing," I replied, "it's my business, not anyone else's."

"I figure that much."

I didn't notice the things around me once I was out the car. In the house, I was surprised to have Naomi there, right there, hugging me. It was shocking, I wasn't expecting it, and it was probably the furtherest thought of my mind.

I hugged her back, "How mad are you?"

"I'm not mad...just shut up and kiss me," she murmured.

I gladly obliged, turning my head to kiss her. Naomi sunk deeper into my arms; once we parted, she looked at me, her left hand coming up to cup my cheek, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine...my head and hand kill though. And I'm not sorry."

Naomi kissed my lips quickly, "You're so stupid, you know that?"

"I don't care."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, I couldn't control myself," I placed my hands firmly on her hips, "I broke his nose."

"The police came over," she swallowed, "they wanted to know what I had to do with it. I told them I didn't even know you went there...I saw the text, I showed it to them, and they took my statement. I'm gonna file charges for harassment, get a restraining order and change my number."

She looked relieved, but still she had this haunting, sadden look behind her eyes. I kissed her, then whispered, "I only did it because of what he did to you, what he did to Lewy. He didn't even deny it, he laughed."

Naomi cringed, "I'm sorry--"

"Don't. You got nothin' to be sorry about, Naomi," I hugged her again, "I love you, all I want to do is protect you and the kids."

One of her hands threaded through the back of my hair as she held me close, "We love you, too. Thank you."

"I was expecting you to be pissed," I half laughed.

"I'm not. Not at you, at him," her fingers scratched my scalp gently, "I don't want you to go to jail, though."

"I'm...trying not to. My dad can help me."

"I know," she pulled back, her hands cupping my cheeks, "the boys are dying to see you," she smiled, "your mom showed them pictures of you with dreads and braces."

I grimaced and laughed, "Wild."

"They think you look cool," Naomi reflected, "honestly. Benji wants dreads now."

I smiled, "What'd you say?"

"Not until he was 18."

I wrapped my arm around her waist, "That'll be crazy."

Naomi and I went to the living room, where the boys were. They hadn't known I was locked up, they just thought I was out and didn't even question it. I stayed and hung out with them until I felt the pain of tackling Rob and needed to shower.

I went upstairs and began to undress. I popped a few pills and sat on my bed, waiting a minute or so before they kicked in. Getting up, I checked my body out in the mirror; I had a few light bruises on my stomach and my arms. Turning around, I saw I had scratches up and down my back and shoulders; I smiled at the thought. Before I took my pants off, there was a knock on my door, followed by it opening; it was Naomi; "Hey."

"Hey, what's up?"

"I want to make sure you're okay," she said, "he didn't hit you?"

I shook my head, "Not really; I mostly got the bruises from tackling him and from being carried out."

Naomi shut the door behind her and came over to me, "Your back..." I turned around, her hand traced the scratches, "hell, did I do that?"

I chuckled, "Yeah, you did."

I got chills when I felt her kiss in between my shoulders. Naomi wrapped her arms around my waist and began to place kisses across my shoulders. I groaned softly; "You're gonna get me hard."

"Is that a bad thing?" She purred.

My stomach tensed and I put my hands on hers, "My parents and the kids are downstairs."

"I'll be quiet," she sang in my ear.

I turned around and looked at her, "Are you serious?"

"Yes," she gave me a cheeky grin, "I owe you."

"You don't owe me shit," I grinned right back at her, "I think I owe you."

"Hmm," she hummed, "aren't you sore?"

"Very, but I can hold out," I kissed her, pulling her lower half closer to mine.

Naomi's lips turned up against mine; her hand ran down my chest and to the front of my sweats. I kissed her deeper, feeling myself growing hard against her thigh. Her hand slipped past the waist band, and under my boxers, taking a hold of my dick. I grunted and broke the kiss, bucking my hips once. Naomi slowly worked her hand around me, causing me to sigh and groan, "Fuck."

She smiled and began to kiss my neck. I held her hips, my nails dug into shirt, rocking my hips in rhythm with her strokes. I began to breathe heavily, panting, feeling that bubbling sensation in the pit of my gut.

"Naomi," I muttered under my breath, "baby, I can't hold on."

She giggled and nipped at my jaw, "What's stopping you?"

My breathing picked up and I was almost there; that's when we heard Lewy calling for Naomi; "Mommy! Mommy, Papa's here!"

Naomi and I looked at each other; she spoke up, "I'm coming--"

"Me too," I grunted under my breath.

Naomi smiled, "...Lewis, gimme a second, I'm just helping your dad."

I bit down on my bottom lip as her strokes got a little faster and I could feel my balls tightening. Naomi kissed me, one of my hands caught the back of her head as I came hard; just as I did, the door opened and we both jumped, but her hand was still in my pants. Lewy stood there, holding onto the knob, tilting his head to look at us; "Was you guys kissin'?"

Naomi hid the front of me; she frantically wiped her hand on the inside of my sweats, "Um, no," she said, sneakily slipping her hand out.

I was speechless, the high of my orgasm dissipated too fast. I sighed and held in a pant. I wiped my brow; "We were just talking," I said, exasperating.

Lewy smiled with his eyes narrowing, "Liar! You and mommy was kissing!"

Naomi exhaled, "Okay, Lewy, I'm not gonna lie," she looked back at me once and then back at our son, "me and daddy were kissing."

His eyes lit up and he grinned, "I knew it!"

Naomi smiled at me, then continued to talk to Lewy, "But it's a secret, okay? Just between the 3 of us, alright? Me and daddy are tryna work things out, and we don't want everyone to know just yet."

Lewy nodded, "I won't tell anyone...can I tell Benny?"

"In your secret language," Naomi agreed.

"Awesome," he said, "good job, daddy!"

I laughed as Lewy rushed out, and I cracked up even more when Naomi cocked a brow at me; "What was that?"

"Maybe he's been rooting for me to kiss you," I suggested with a smile and shrug.

"Have you two been plotting to seduce me?" She huffed jokingly.

"Maybe," I smiled at her.

"You're unbelievable," she leaned in and kissed me, "we can finish this at home. Now excuse me while I wash my hands."

I exhaled happily, following Naomi to the bathroom.


Things seemed to be good for the simple fact Naomi wasn't pissed off at me. It was all that mattered, because if she had been, I would've felt stuck in between a rock and a hard place. So, having her practically encourage me beating the hell out of Rob, made all the difference of how I felt about things.

My phone was still going off as the evening wore on; people wanting to know what was up and to confirm or deny what was going on. I kept my mouth shut and told the same thing to my publicists; "It's no ones business." They were upset that I wouldn't indulge, and I knew that I never would; I wanted privacy and for this crazy thing to kept at the smallest point of the rumor mill for as long as possible.

I didn't want my kids to know what I did. They didn't need to know what or why I did what I had. All they needed to know was that I was protecting them and their mom.

With my family, they didn't ask. I told them I did what I did because I was mad. I was mad that Rob practically got away with hurting Naomi and I wanted to teach him a lesson. My mom cheered me on, my brother and sister, too; my dad was the only one to give me a hard time about it, but I could tell he wasn't all that mad about what I did. Even Lee had thanked me, but told me I shouldn't have gone that far; he told me, "I don't want you to end up behind bars, those kids need you."

I couldn't have agreed more.

By the time it was near Lewy and Benji's bed time, Naomi invited me over. It was a sweet and subtle gesture; mostly done in front of my parents to keep up the charade that we weren't doing anything but co-parenting. Naomi had said it best; we were trying to work things out.

I got a few things and rode home with Naomi. The drive was quiet; Benji was asleep by the time we got there, so Naomi took him to his room and put him to bed. Me and Lewy stayed on the couch, watching TV; he kept flipping the channels.

"Hey!" He said holding the remote towards the TV, "Look, that's you!"

I groaned inwardly; Lewy had stopped on some entertainment news channel. The host was talking about me being arrested; it was already too late to change it. Lewy looked at me, "Daddy, you went to jail?!"

"What?" Naomi said as she came back, "Who said?"

"It's on TV!" Lewy jumped up, "Why?!"

He didn't look upset, he looked excited. I was confused; if my dad had gone to jail, I'd be a little upset and confused.

Naomi came over and picked Lewy up; she sat down beside me with him in her lap. She took the remote and changed the channel, putting it on mute after, "We're gonna be completely honest with you, Lewis...your dad did get arrested."

He looked at her and then at me, "Really?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Why? Did you hurt somebody, daddy?"

I looked to Naomi, and she came up empty; "Uh...yeah. I did, but he deserved it."

"Who was it? A bad guy?"

Naomi chewed at the inside of her lip, gazing at me, then at Lewy. She exhaled, "It was Robert...remember 2 weeks ago...when he did that bad thing to me and you were yelling at him?"

Lewy frowned deeply and nodded, "Uh-huh."

"That's why daddy hurt him."

Still with a frown, Lewy looked over at me, "Why did you do that? He's gonna hurt us!"

"No," Naomi and I both started, but she finished, "Robert is in trouble--"

"He said he'd hurt daddy!" Lewy practically screamed, "He's gonna come back!"

Naomi held him, "He's not coming back, Lewy, I promise."

Lewy wrapped his arms around Naomi, sobbing into her shoulder. I didn't know what to say or do to comfort him; he was terrified. Naomi just looked at me, giving me a sadden look; I leaned over and rubbed him back, "Hey, Lewy, I'll protect you. Rob's not coming back, he's in trouble too."

Lewy sniffed, then turned his head to look at me, "Is he in jail?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "he can't come over and he can't call, coz if he does, he'll get in big trouble. I'm not gonna go anywhere, I'll stay here and protect you, Benny and your mom, alright?"

Lewy wiped his face, "Promise?"

"I promise."

He held out his pinkie; I smiled and wrapped my little finger around his, "Pinkie promise."

He sniffed and sat up, "Is daddy livin' with us now?"

Naomi bit at her lip, looking at me slightly, "Well, we have some stuff to work out, but I hope so."

I couldn't help but to smile.

"Now, you," Naomi brushed his hair back and kissed his cheeks, "you need to get to bed. You have school in the morning."

Lewy whined, "Do I havta?"

"Yes, you havta," Naomi giggled and stood, carrying him, "say goodnight to daddy--"

"Wait! Read me a story!" He said to me, "Please?"

I stood and took him from Naomi, "What story?" I asked him.

"Um...the old lady who ate a fly!"

I patted his back, "For sure, little dude."

Naomi kissed his head and then she patted my back; "Night, bubba."

"Night, mommy."

I carried Lewy off to his room, making sure to reassure him that he was safe.