Without You, I'm Just Me

Naomi and Lewy returned; Naomi didn't look any different, her hair ha been cut just an inch and Lewy had asked to shave his head. His shoulder length hair was gone; just like Benji's had been, but Benny's hair grew back fast.

"Whoa! Buddy," I picked him up, "you look cool."

"It feels funny," he said, feeling the buzz cut.

"You look like daddy," Benji chuckled.

"Do you like it?" I asked Lewy.

"Yeah," he hummed, "I don't look like a girl no more."

Naomi rubbed the top of his head, "It's cute, bub."

She went over to Rick and thanked him for keeping me company. I rolled my eyes jokingly; "You make me sound like a loser."

"Aw, you're not a loser," she kissed my cheek.

I smiled and shrugged. Rick didn't stay too long, since Rae was expecting him, so he left a few minutes after Naomi and Lewy came in. Then, we were alone; "So, what did you guys do?"

"Uh, we hung out," I answered; I sat down with Lewy in my lap, "how was it losin' your hair?"

Lewy smiled, "It was cool."

Benji climbed into Naomi's lap and pressed his head to her chest. He stuck his thumb into his mouth, indicating he was ready to nap. Naomi cradled him, rubbing his arm; "Aw, baby, you're already gonna nap?"

"Uh-huh," Benji replied.

Naomi kissed the top of his head, "'kay."

They looked so cute there. The sight was something I don't think I'll ever get used to. Every time I saw Naomi with the kids, I always wanna kick myself for not settling sooner.

"Pete?" Naomi waved her hand in my face, "You alright?"

"Yeah, just thinking," I replied. "I think Benji's asleep already."

She giggled, looked down at him and began to stand, hiking him up in her arms, "I'm gonna go put him in his bed. Lew, you should take a bath to wash the hair off, babe."

"I don't wanna."

Naomi gave him a look, "I have to take one too, you know."

He sighed, "Fine."

Naomi smiled and then asked me, "Help him?"

"Yeah," I got up, set Lew on his feet, "lets go, bud."

In the bathtub, Lewy played with his basketball hoop. He made shots while I washed his hair. Over the past couple of months, he had begun to get closer to Naomi. He slowly stopped ignoring her and openly went to her for hugs and told her he loved her without her saying it first. The process was slow, but Naomi felt it and on occasion she would cry because she was so happy he was giving her love like before.

It all started after we sought a counselor; he and Naomi both saw one once a week. Lewy was happy he could vent his own little frustrations to someone; Naomi, too, but she was more so happy someone could help her cope and get over the shit Rob did. Like I said, it was slow, but it was working in different ways that were significant.

"Hey, buddy," I rinsed his head, "you still dig your doctor?"

"Dr. Ritter is nice," Lewy shrugged.

"I'm making sure," I assured him, "you know, if you don't wanna go anymore, you can tell us."

"I like it," he looked up at me, "he helps and he lets me hit a punchin' bag."

I smiled at the sight of his own little grin, "Thats good, Lew."

Once he was finished, I wrapped him in a towel and carried him to his room, dressing him in warm clothes. After, he rushed off to the living room to watch cartoons while I went to check on Naomi. I had one of those feelings, I had to check on her; this connection -force, pulled me towards our bedroom.

"Navy?"

I could hear the shower, that's it. I went in, then turned towards the bathroom. Opening the door, I was faced with steam; I saw Naomi's silhouette leaning against the wall. The foggy glass made it hard to see her clearly; "Navy?"

I heard a small whimper, opened the glass door, just a little, and saw her with her palms pressed to her face. I swallowed, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Naomi shook her head, dropped her palms and whipped her wet hair back, "It's...stupid."

"Hey," I turned the water off, grabbed her robe and draped it over her, "whatever it is, it isn't stupid."

Naomi slipped her arms through the sleeves of the robe and tied it around herself. She led the way out the bathroom; I grabbed a towel to wrap her hair, which she accepted form me. She sat on the bed, I followed; "Tell me what's up."

"I have this weird feeling," she explained with a furrowed brow, "it's hard to explain, Pete."

"What kind? Do you feel it in your heart or your head--what?"

"I...it's kind of like a weird sense. Like when you can feel someone behind you," she touched her shoulder briefly, "you know what I mean?"

I nodded, "When did you feel it?"

"I was in the bathroom and this overwhelming sense of vulnerability and fear...that someone was close to me," she shook her head, "it freaked me out. I got scared--I'm being silly."

"Nah, you're not," I assured her, "but, I'm tellin' you, no one is watching you. It's just us here."

"And Rob's in jail," she added with an exhale. "No one is out to get me."

"Exactly," I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, "do you feel okay?"

She nodded, "Yeah, yeah, a lot."

I kissed her, "I'll leave you to get dressed and hang out with our little human."

She smiled, "I'll be in there after I blow dry my hair."

I hummed softly, kissing her again before heading back into the living room.


Naomi's court date was 3 days before Valentine's day, which was only 2 days away. My dad was representing her, hoping to catch Rob off guard again. It was tough for her to tell my dad everything, but she did and they came up with a great game plan.

I never asked her to indulge and tell me what it was, because I didn't want her to tell me everything again. She and I both knew how pissed I would get, and it didn't even matter how many times I heard it all, I would still get mad. Our family had even advised me to stay home during it all, but I refused. I wanted to be there to support Naomi.

The days went by, the court date coming quick. Naomi still had that lingering feeling that caused her to be jumpy. I made sure that she was comfortable and secure at all times; still, that feeling was there. It wasn't all the time, but you knew she felt it, because she looked over her shoulder a lot. I figured it was just her anxiety from the impending trial.

The day had arrived; Naomi was still weary about letting me go and I didn't want to stay home. It finally got to the point that she begged me to stay, and I agreed. She had this pleading look and I couldn't help but to cave; I love her, and anything she wanted, she got.

She cupped my cheeks, kissing my lips, leaving a red stain; "I love you, thank you."

I nodded, "I love you too."

Again, she kissed me, and then ran her fingers through my hair. She had this seldom look on her face; a peaceful smile, a look free of stress. "I'll be fine," she reminded me.

"I know," I nodded. "Give 'em hell."

She chuckled, slipped her hands from my cheeks and left me in our bedroom to check on the boys. After a few seconds of relishing in her sweet kisses, I followed into the living room. The boys were parked on the floor, playing with their action figures we had bought for them for Christmas.

Naomi knelt, her black slit skirt was tight, but she managed to get down to the boys' level, "Gimme a kiss and wish me good luck."

The boys hugged and kissed her; "G'luck, mommy," Benji said.

"Good luck!" Lewy told her, "Break his leg!"

Naomi giggled, "Thats what I'm hoping for. Thank you, babes."

Naomi stood and came over to me; I kissed her, "You'll be okay," I told her.

She exhaled, "I know. I'm fine."

Naomi wrapped her arms around me, hugged me tight and then kissed my cheek. We parted, I looked her over; she was dressed just like a teacher; a lavender colored button down blouse, the black pencil skirt, and these black Louboutin heels with red bottoms. She fucking amazing; her hair was down, parted over one side; "Do I look okay?"

"Yeah," I breathed, "you look amazing."

"I'm afraid to look too...good. I don't want them to say anything about me that makes it seem like I wasn't too hurt and that I was lying."

I shook my head, "Fuck them, you look great, Navy."

She kissed my lips, "Thank you. I have to go meet your dad now. I don't know when'll be over, but I'll call."

"Don't worry about us, we'll be good."

Naomi, again, exhaled, "Be good. Don't make too much of a mess."

We saw Naomi go; she was still nervous. I was nervous myself, angry too, but I knew Naomi could handle herself. He couldn't get to her; there'd be press and police officers, and my dad. I knew she'd be just fine. It still worried me though; I don't want Naomi to go through any more pain.


The boys and I watched some movies before we put on our boots and coats and went to play in the snow. We built a snowman and threw snowballs at each other. Not long after, we went inside, and ate; before I finished, my phone rang.

I picked it up and saw Spencer's name flash up, "What's up?"

"Hey, Wentz, man, are you busy?"

"I'm with my kids, why?"

"We got booked to do a party at Angels and Kings. You down?"

"When?"

"The 14th."

"Uh, maybe. I gotta check with Naomi."

"This rich kid rented out the place and begged for you to make an appearance."

I rolled my eyes, "We'll see."

Spencer laughed, "Alright man, I'll call you later."

"I'll call you, see what Naomi says."

"See ya."

I hung up with Spencer and went back to eating with the boys. When we finished, I noticed Benji looked a little flushed and he was scratching himself. "Yo, Benny, what's wrong?"

"I feels itchy!" He scratched his shoulder, "My back itches!"

"C'mere, lemme see," I picked him up and lifted his shirt.

Benji had red bumps on his back. I frowned, "Shit."

"What?" Lewy asked, looking over.

"I think you got chicken pox, Benny."

"What's that?" Lewy asked.

"Itchy!" Benji exclaimed.

I sighed, "I'm gonna call Grandma, see if she knows what to do. I don't think you're suppose to scratch them, Benny."

"I havta! Itchy!" He complained.

I carried him, calling my mom, hoping I could handle this.