Without You, I'm Just Me

All over TV, Naomi was the main focus. She and Rob were talked about constantly. His brothers and his mother avoided press, as did we, and it was all anyone talked about. Everyone wanted to know what happened, and the only person who knew were Naomi and Rob.

One was in surgery and the other was going to be worm food.

But, my kids knew just a little of it. Lewy knew the most, Benji knew the least. The police wanted to talk to Lewy as soon as possible. They had shown up at my parents house, that afternoon, to question him.

Officer Winters was alone; "We want to get some information before--"

"Why?" I asked, "Rob killed himself. There's no reason to prod this."

"We just want to know before we close this case."

I rolled my eyes and let her in; Lewy was in the living room, with everyone, watching TV. I had stopped in, "Lew, c'mere buddy."

Lewy got up with Hilary's help and came over to me; I put my hand on his shoulder and led the way to the dining room. Officer Winters smiled at him as we all sat down; "Hello there, Lewis, do you remember me?"

He nodded, "Yeah, you were at my house."

"Yes. I wanted to ask you a few questions about what happened the other night, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm going to record our conversation; we're just trying to piece all of this together. You're not in trouble--no one is, we just want to help."

"Okay," he murmured.

Officer Winters sat cornered to us; Lewy sat in my lap. I watched her pull out her phone and begin to record; "I'm Officer Antoinette Winters interviewing Lewis Wentz, in regards to the attempted homicide and suicide on February 14th 2011."

I exhaled, bouncing Lewy on my lap a few times.

"Now," she started, "Lewis, tell me how old you are."

"I'm 5," he answered, leaning against the table.

"Can you tell me what happened the night Robert Coppola came into your house?"

Lewy looked at me and then at her; "Um...there was a loud noise and then I heard my mommy yelling."

"What did you do?"

"I left my room, went to see if my brother was okay and then I saw Robert pulling my mommy down by her hair. Benji was there too and he was cryin' and I was yelling at Robert to stop and he said a bad word and the he," Lewy motioned with his hands to saw through the air, "cut my mom's hair off."

"What did your mom do?"

"She got up and said to me to hide Benji. Benji was tryna call my dad with his iPad, 'nd I told him to stop, but he tried anyway. We went to my room and got under the bed."

"Do you know how long you were under the bed, Lewis?"

He shrugged, "It was a long, long time."

"Did you hear anything?"

"My mom was screaming a lot. I was afraid to move."

"Why did you leave the hiding spot under the bed?"

"My mom was screamin' "Help me, help me!" 'nd I went to help."

"What happened when you went to help?"

He paused; "I jumped on Robert's back 'nd I pulled his hair, 'nd he pushed me off and I hurt my arm. Mommy was tellin' me to runaway to go get help, and Robert hit her in the face. She had cuts," he used his fingers to slice his face, "all over her face; blood all over and I got scared and I couldn't move."

"Is that when Robert shot?"

He nodded; I held my breath. "He got it from his back," he pointed to his back, "and then it went off, like BOOM! Then he pointed it at my mom and it went off again and it fell."

I watched Officer Winters; her brows rose slowly; "Where did the gun fall, Lewis?"

"Next to my mommy's hand--"

"Where was she?"

"In the living room, behind the couch."

"Did Robert grab the gun?"

Lewy shook his head, "No. He tried to, but my mom was fast; she pointed it right here," again, he pointed to the underside of his chin, "and she said "f you" and then BOOM!"

We were silent.

Officer Winters spoke first; "Your mom shot Robert?"

Lewy nodded, "Yeah. And then she threw it at him, and fell back and closed her eyes."

"Was she on her stomach?"

"Yeah. She turned around to do it."

"What did you do after that?"

"I don't remember."

"Were you scared?"

"Uh-huh, yeah."

"Is there anything else, Lewis?"

He shook his head, but stopped, "Are you gonna make my mom go to jail?"

Officer Winters turned her phone off and shook her head, "No, Lewis."

He pressed the back of his head to my chest, "Oh."

She stood up, "Thank you for letting me talk to you. I'll be in touch."

After that, she was gone. Lewy and I both felt exhausted. I stood, cradling him and carried him back to the living room.


It was the next afternoon that Lee had called me. I was slow to answer; I was afraid that maybe it was bad news. But, Benji groaned about it waking him up, so I answered.

"Hello?" My voice was low.

"Pete? Or is this one of the boys?" Lee spoke clear.

"It's Pete. What's up?" I held my breath.

"I was calling because I got to see Naomi..." He trailed, "Uh, she doesn't want to see anyone. I told her you wanted to see her, but she didn't want any visitors. She doesn't even want the boys here...I'm sorry."

I exhaled, "Oh."

"She...she uh, she isn't breathing on her own, and she's banged up. Naomi says that she doesn't want to go back to the house, so I'm gonna send some crime scene cleaners over and then I'm gonna move house for her."

"She wants to move?"

"That's what she said. She said she doesn't want to live there," he paused; there was more, "She told me something else that isn't sitting right with me."

"What is it?"

"She said she wants you keep the boys. Said you should keep them far from her...I think she's just out of it."

I got up and moved towards the kitchen, where I could talk privately, "Hey, Lee, Lewy told the officer that Naomi shot Rob."

"Good," he scoffed. "Bastard deserved it."

"I just...I don't know what to do. I really want to see her."

"I'm tryna convince her. How are the boys? I want her to see them."

"Lewy is watching TV with Benji, who is napping. We're avoiding going out because some photog was hassling my sister yesterday."

"Alright. I'm gonna come home soon, I'll take them for a bit, maybe have them talk to Naomi over the phone or somethin'. She's...God, she is a mess."

"I can only imagine."

"Son, you couldn't imagine this."


All our friends were trying to see her, now that everyone knew she was awake. The press hounded the hospital, driving in was a nightmare. Lee couldn't get back, due to the security and the press. He stayed home, he took the boys and tried to make things as normal as possible.

Patrick offered to go see her, but I told him not to. Andy and Joe even called to send well wishes to her; they said they'd come by and see her as soon as they could. Rae and Ricky had tried to see her, but she refused them; the nurse had to escort them out.

I didn't know what was going through her head. I didn't know what she looked like or how she felt. I wanted to see her and to make it better; I didn't know how.

Benji and Lewy drew her pictures and had cried when they were told they couldn't see her. It was rough; the sight was breaking my heart. I had to see her.

2 days after she had awaken, Lee moved all of her things into storage. Benji and Lewy were sleeping with me at my parents for the time being. Naomi wasn't saying much and she wasn't eating; the hospital staff was near the point of putting her on suicide watch.

I couldn't stand it anymore, I finally went to the hospital.