Without You, I'm Just Me

Naomi had been home a week and so far it was good. I was still doing most of everything because Naomi wasn't every fast and she was on pain medication. Since it was warmer outside she went out a lot and sat on the swing in the back or she would sit at the gazebo. When she did these things, I knew she was thinking. She could sit outside from early morning until late in the afternoon. The boys were on vacation from school so they slept in or entertained Naomi.

I finished washing the dishes and went outside where she was in the single swing hanging from the sturdy tree branch. I stood behind her and pushed her gently; "The boys still asleep?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"What time is it?"

"10. Lew should be getting up right now."

She hummed, moving slowly. I pushed her slowly, making sure I didn't strain her too bad. Naomi looked back at me, "Do I look okay?"

"Yeah, you look fine, why? You goin' somewhere today?"

She sighed and shook her head, "Not like that, Pete. I mean, do I look okay with the scars?"

"Yeah, of course you do."

She hung her head, "I feel like a monster."

"You're not a monster," I walked around to face her, her head still hung. "Look at me, Navy."

She sighed, "I'm not the same anymore, and I don't want to be this--this person anymore."

"Naomi, you're the same--"

She stopped me, "Pete, I'm not, I'm...I'm ugly now."

"How? You're the same--"

"Look at my face!" She snapped at me, "I-I'm ugly, just like Rob said I'd be."

I cupped her cheeks, watching the tears roll down and gather at my thumbs. "Navy, I don't love you because you're beautiful, I love you because you're you. I think you're amazing and I think you're so fuckin' gorgeous," I kissed her lips, "with or without scars, you'll always be beautiful--you'll always be Navy or Naomi, whatever you want me to call you. You will always be that cute, tall jailbait next door."

She sniffed and laughed, "Shut up."

"I'm serious, baby," I smiled and kissed her again, "I don't care that you've got scars, I think they're all beautiful, just like you. You're the sweetest, and loveliest girl I have ever met and I don't want you to change because that's--you're what I fell in love with. I fell in love with your heart, not your face...that came later."

We smiled at one another. Naomi swallowed, "I believe you. But there's...there's something I need to tell you, okay? It's...really hard for me to say."

My brow furrowed, "Yeah?"

She inhaled, "Do you think I'll go to jail or prison for killing Rob? Coz I do."

"You aren't gonna go to jail, you hear me?"

She nodded slowly, "I'm scared, Pete. I can't...I'm afraid they'll just take me away from Lewy and Benji and I won't be able to do anything about it."

I shook my head, "They won't, you were defending yourself."

"You can't be too sure," she said softly, "I just have this feeling and it's scary."

I kissed her forehead, "It'll be okay. I'm here for you, my and your family too. If anything goes wrong, we'll protect you."

Naomi let out a small sigh, "I know, but it's...it's all overwhelming. I want to go to bed."

I nodded and back up, lending out my hand; Naomi stood, wrapping her left arm around my waist and grabbing her cane from beside the tree. We walked back into the house and then to our bedroom; I helped her into bed and got her pills. I sat beside her, watching her, making sure her knee was leveled so it wouldn't get stiff.

"I hate this thing," she mumbled, "I hate using a cane. I hate that I can even wear my favorite shoes! I can't--" she stopped, "God, it could be worse."

"Do you want me to get you anything?"

She shook her head, "I just wanna sleep for a little while."

I leaned over and kissed her head. She gave a soft sigh, her hand touching my arm affectionately.

"I'm gonna make breakfast, I think I hear Lew."

"Yeah, okay," she murmured.

"I'll make you something too, you should eat."

Naomi gave a small nod as I left, shutting the door. I went to Lewy's room and found Benji in bed with him. The 2 of them were playing with my iPad; they looked up when I came in, "Guys want breakfast?"

"Yes!" Benji exclaimed, "I am starvin'!"

I chuckled, "You Lewy?"

"Yeah."

"C'mon, come help."

The boys climbed out of the bed and followed me, Benji stopped in the hall, "Is mommy 'wake? I wanna see'er."

"Yeah, but she's sleepy, so don't shout."

He smiled, "Okey dokey."

I shook my head, watching him go into out bedroom and shout, "Good mornin' mommy!"

We heard Naomi giggle, "Morning my little monster."

Lewy and me continued on to the kitchen. He helped me by getting things from the fridge and then went to get Benji. The boys sat at the table, Benji told me Naomi was coming.

I saw her walk in, sighing deeply, "I swear this thing is making me tired fast."

"You okay?"

"Mm-hm, I feel better, actually."

She went over to the table and sat with the boys. I served the food and sat down. We all ate, like we usually did, and then Naomi did her exercises with her knee while I gave the boys a bath.

In the afternoon, we went swimming; Naomi's doctor had said the water was good for her knee. She swam, trying not to strain herself too much. Abbey, Amy and her dad had come and were joining us. Lee wasn't actually, he was talking to one of his clients on his phone inside the house. It was all pretty nice and quiet until Lee came back outside and 2 officers were with him.

I felt my stomach drop once I looked over. Naomi was sitting on the middle step of the pool, holding Benji with his life vest and floaties. She had looked over when they said her name, we all looked.

"Naomi Valentino?" One of the officers asked.

Naomi nodded, "Yeah?"

"We need you to come with us."

She sighed, sitting Benji on the outside of the pool and stood slowly. I shot up, helping her over to them; "What's this about?"

"Naomi, you're under arrest for the murder of Robert Coppola."

Naomi's face was expressionless. I knew she was fearful, but she said she had had a feeling earlier.

"Wait! She didn't--"

The officer hushed me. Lee gave Naomi a towel, "Don't worry, I'll call Peter."

"Put your hands behind your back--"

"That's not necessary," Lee told them, "she's got a bum knee."

"Where are they taking mommy?" Benji ran over, slipping, but caught my arm.

"Baby, just stay with daddy," Naomi told him, "I'll be right back."

"No! No, I wanna go wit' you!"

"Benji," I picked him up, "it's okay."

"Can she get dressed first?" Amy snapped at them, "It's the least you could do for arresting her in front of her children."

"Yes," the female officer growled, "inside, nothing funny."

I set Benji down, "Stay with Amy."

By this time everyone was out the pool; Amy held Benji, and held Lewy's hand. Me and Lee went inside, following the officers; "You can't arrest my daughter, she was defending herself! Look what he did to her."

Naomi limped to our room, holding the male officer's arm for leverage.

"I'm sorry sir, but we just do what we're ordered," the female officer said shortly.

"Look at her! Look at her scars!" He growled.

"Dad!" Naomi cried, "Stop it! I-I'll be okay."

"How?" He asked incredulously, "You're hurt and--"

"Just stop," she muttered.

I grabbed some clothes for her as she sat on the bed. The officers watched me sharply while I helped Naomi get dressed. The shorts and t-shirt got a little wet, but I knew it would have to do for now.

I helped her up, "She's--be careful."

The male officer seemed to sympathize with us, but the female was cold as ice. We followed them out the room and to the front door. They were careful taking her down the steps and putting her in the back of the car.

"Shit," Lee and I both spat.

"I'll call my dad," I said quickly as we went back in the house.

"Is mommy in jail?!" Lewy asked.

"No," Lee said, "it's just a misunderstanding. She'll be home soon."