Without You, I'm Just Me

In the morning, we were at it again. It was real early and I woke up to Naomi on top of me. It was a great way to wake up.

"What're you doing?" I asked her as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

"My knee doesn't hurt," she said, "I'm fucking you."

I laughed, "Uh, yeah, I can see that."

She bit her lip, "I took care of everything, so just go with it."

"Fuck, whatever you say," I exhaled, lying back.

The blanket was up to her hips, she naked, her palms resting on my chest. I put my hands on her hips and let her take control. I let out a sigh when she slid down on me, moaning quietly.

The house, our bedroom was quiet, save for Naomi causing the bed to rock. She soft moans filled the air and I bit down on my lip to keep mine in. Any loud noises this early would wake the boys.

Naomi was patient and quiet, rocking her hips down on mine. I sat up and kissed her, tasting mint toothpaste. She had it all prepared and I felt so damn in love with her.

I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her deeper, my hands fondling any of her skin available to me. She moaned as soon as my hand landed on her breast. She let out a whine when I rolled my fingers over her erect nipple, and found the other, leaving one alone to hold her and feel her ass. Her head fell back and she let out a soft whimper, her hands holding my shoulders, her nails dug into my shoulder blades. The pleasure and pain was almost too much for me.

Naomi rocked harder, kissing my neck now. Her body was just a little sweaty, her body slapped against mine with a soft pat sound. I held her ass with both hands and kissed her neck to her shoulder, sinking my teeth in. Her fingers ran through my hair where she tugged and began to bounce on me. She moaned and whimpered against my ear, "God, I fuckin' missed you."

"I bet you did," I whispered against the shell of her ear.

She pulled back to look me in the eyes; her hips rocked in a figure 8 motion, deliberately slow. She licked her lips, "You're the only one who knows how to fuck me."

I smiled lazily, causing her bite down on her bottom lip, "You're doing all the work, baby."

She moaned, "Thats because I know how you like it."

"Yeah? How?"

"Slow," she whispered, and tighten her muscles around me, "like that. You like when I kiss you here," she kissed my throat, "and when I scratch your back."

Her nails raked deeply down my back. I grunted, "Exactly. You're the only one."

She grinned, "I better be."

I kissed her, our lips barely parted, "For life."


I had fallen asleep after Naomi and I had finished. I'm not sure how long I was asleep, but I woke up to kids screaming happily. The door was opened and giggles filled the air and then the door shut. I sat up and saw Benji going to hide under our bed.

"Benny?"

He stopped and stood, "Hi daddy! You should get up! It's hot outside!" Then he fell to the floor and slid under the bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

He whispered, loudly, "I'm hidin' from Chris'sina," he mispronounced her name.

"Who's Christina?"

"Auntie B's daughter!" He continued to whisper loudly.

"B's here?"

"Yeah!"

I climbed out of the bed, and grabbed my boxers, rushing to put them on. Just as I did, the door flew open. A little girl about the same age as Benji, with dark blonde hair in braids and olive colored skin looked at me, "Benny in 'ere?"

"Nope," I answered.

Like I'd rat my own kid out.

The little girl, Christina, left and shut the door. I knelt under the bed, "Hey, Benny, you know bedrooms are off limits when we play hide and seek."

"No fair," he whined.

"Those are the rules and it's not fair. Now, go hide somewhere good, I know you can."

I helped Benji climb out from under the bed and opened the door. We looked around, the coast was clear and he took off. I chuckled, shut the door and went to the bathroom.

I showered, climbed out and made sure the door to our room was locked before I began to get dressed. Once I was dressed, someone knocked on the door, "Pete?" It was Naomi.

I opened the door, drying my hair with a towel, "Sorry. Kids runnin' round here made me lock it."

"Kids are calmed down now. Babette just left. Benji and Lew played with her daughter and they're all friends now."

"That's awesome," I sat on the bed, "Benji and Lew fightin' over her?"

Naomi gave a small laugh, "No. Not yet, but she does have a crush on Lewis. It's the good looks he got from me."

I scoffed, "Whatever."

She kissed my cheek, "Hey, Benji is your twin, it's only natural Lew looks more like me now."

"If you say so."

Naomi grabbed her pills from the dresser and took some for the pain. She put them away and then came over and sat next to me, "They're outside right now," she said. "I talked to your dad this morning."

"About the trial?"

She nodded, "Yeah. Talia is suing me for wrongful death."

"Who the hell is Talia?" I muttered, looking at her.

"Rob's mom. I was served today, I called your dad and he got papers too. She wants more than I'm worth and my head."

I could see she was ready to cry and I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her to me, "Shit, Navy."

Her arms wrapped around my waist, burying her face in my chest. I rubbed her back and her arm, listening to her sob; I had nothing to say. I didn't know what to say, I felt stuck and dumbfounded.

She began to hiccup and sob, lifted her head up to look at me with tear filled eyes, "Why is this happening to me?"

I was ready to cry myself, "I don't know, baby. I have no clue."

She sat on my lap and hugged me tight, while I did the same to her. I ran my hand up and down her back, kissing the side of her head. After a few moments she stopped crying and was breathing deeply against my shoulder.

"I just want this all to end. I feel like I'm trapped in hell."

I exhaled, "I'm so sorry, Naomi."

"I shouldn't have killed him," she muttered, "he'd be in jail, they'd believe me if he was alive."

"Who knows that? You, Benny and Lew would be dead instead. I'm glad he's dead."

"I just wanna give up," she confessed, "I'm so fuckin' done."

"Not yet," I murmured against her cheek, "you're not gonna leave us...not if you have to. You don't get to decide."

She started to cry again, "I don't know how the hell I'm gonna make it."

"Things won't be like this forever. Me and you gonna get through it, I promise."

She shook her head, "No, no. They're gonna send me to prison and take everything from me. I just want it to be over."

I held her again, "No, Naomi, they aren't gonna send you away and Talia ain't taking shit from you, I'll--we'll make sure of it, okay?"

Naomi was breathing through her nose against my neck. She didn't speak, she was quiet and her breathing was deep and quick. "I'm scared."

I rubbed her back continuously, "I'm scared too, but we can't give up."

"I should've listened to you," she said softly, "I feel so dumb."

"It's over and done now," I sighed, "we'll get through this, okay? You trust that?"

"I don't know."

"I'll help you through it," I told her, "you trust me?"

She took in a few breaths before she nodded, "Yeah."

I kissed her lips, "I love you, Naomi."

"I love you too," she breathed.

I rubbed her back, "What did my dad say?"

"It doesn't look good," she said.

I exhaled, "I'll talk--"

"He's coming over so we can talk," she said softly. "I think I should just plead out."

"No way," I muttered, "you didn't do anything wrong! You're not gonna admit guilt--"

Naomi got off my lap and stepped away, "I feel guilty! I killed someone! Someone who I used to love! I-I killed him because he was trying to kill me," her voice lowered.

"Yeah, but you had no choice! You had no choice because he was gonna kill you, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a fucking idiot."

Naomi was in tears again, "They think I'm crazy!"

I went over and grabbed her forearms, "You aren't crazy, Naomi. You're not."

"I know that!" She growled, "They aren't going to believe a fucking word I say! They'll believe that fucking bastard and I'll go away and I'll be away from my kids, all because I was protecting them!"

I wrapped my arms around her again, letting her cry against my shirt. Her cries were soft, her hands fisted the back of my shirt. I held her tight, kissing the side of her neck.

"My dad'll help you. He's amazing. His success rate is 96%."

She pulled back and laughed, "I know. He tells me all the time."

Right then, the door bell rang. I cupped Naomi's cheeks as she let my shirt go. I wiped away her tears with my thumbs, "C'mon, things'll be okay."

She nodded slowly, her eyes shut over and tears rolled off her eye lashes, which I wiped away. I kissed her and told her I love her, and she smiled at me. Her lips pressed against mine again, and then she exhaled, "Lets go open the door for dad."

I smiled back at her, "Yeah."

After letting my dad in, he sat on the couch with Naomi, while I went to see how the boys were. Of course, they were off in their own little world on the swing set. Benji was swinging and Lewy was sliding and they were shouting to each other in their language.

"Hey," I called to them, "how're you guys?"

"I'm okay!" Benji exclaimed.

"I'm fine," Lewy said. "Whadda doin' daddy?"

"I came to check on you guys," I sat on the other swing.

"Where's mom?" Lewy sat on the grass in front of me.

"She's inside talking to grandpa, so we can't bother them for a little while."

Benji swung slowly, "Daddy, is mommy in trouble?"

I shook my head, "No, she's not in trouble."

Lewy stood, "Then how come she went to jail?"

"Because some people don't believe she hurt Robert because she had to," I told them softly.

"She did," Lewy started, "he was hurtin' her. How come they don't believe her?"

"I don't know," I shook my head and sighed, "I don't know, Lew."

"I believe her," Benji said.

I looked over at him and smiled, "Yeah, I know. We all believe her, but some people don't and mommy and grandpa are trying to make them believe her."

"Is she gonna go away?" Benji hopped off the swing.

"No, she's not, Benny."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, little dude, I'm sure."

It was hard explaining this mess to them. I barely understood how to explain it and wrap it around my head. I don't want them to hear any of this, and I didn't want them to stress over it.

I stood and picked Benji up, "Lets go see if mommy and grandpa want ice cream."

"Yeah!" Benji cheered.

Lewy took my hand and we went inside.