Without You, I'm Just Me

I had fallen asleep and woke up again. My body ached, I felt like I couldn't move. Breathing hurt, but I did it anyway, feeling sharpness in my chest. Waking up, I felt alone, but there was a presence in the room, I figured it was probably Naomi. I couldn't feel her hand though.

"I think he's awake," I heard Naomi murmur. "Pete? Baby?" Her hand was in mine again, "Squeeze my hand if you're awake."

It took a lot of my strength to squeeze her hand; my lids were heavy, I couldn't see her. My jaw was tight, now that I tried to open my mouth.

"He's awake," a male voice said. "Pete, this is Dr. Vernon, can you open your eyes?"

I tried, really hard, and managed to open my left eye. It burned, there was sharp white lights, I winced and shut it. I didn't even get to see Naomi.

"Oh, baby," Naomi murmured, her voice catching. "I love you so much."

I squeezed her hand again.

"We're going to dim the lights Pete, then I'm going to ask you to open your eyes again."

I waited a moment, then he told me to open my eyes again. I forced my eyes open, and this time my right eye barely peaked open, my left eye opened fully. It was foggy, I saw Naomi, just a little, and squeezed her hand tighter.

"Pete, you've been unconscious for nearly 2 weeks now," Dr. Vernon said, "you've got fractured bones, a little head trauma, but you'll make a full recovery. Can you talk? Your jaw is pretty sore, isn't it?"

I began to make my body move, my head turned and I opened my mouth slowly, moving my jaw. My body felt heavy from being unconscious for so long, "I...I'm okay."

Naomi had tears in her eyes, her hand holding mine tighter. She leaned over and kissed me, "You're a hero, Pete."

"What happened?"

"We'll get to that soon," Dr. Vernon said, "right now, we need to check you out and see how your body is doing. I'll get a nurse down here to help you up. Naomi," he looked to her, "you can tell him a bit, but remember what we talked about."

Naomi nodded, I felt out of the loop. The doctor left and Naomi sat beside me, still holding my hand, her eyes overflowing with tears. She smiled, "You've got scruff," she touched my jaw. "Your right eye was swollen, it's still kinda puffy, does it hurt?"

"No. What happened?" My words came out slow; my throat and jaw ached. "I'm so thirsty."

Naomi stood, sniffling, and let go of my hand; she went toward the exit, but went to the sink near the door. She poured me some water in a plastic up and came back to me, "I'll pour it into your mouth, just relax, okay?"

I did as she said, swallowing as she poured water into my mouth. I never felt so damn thirsty in my life. She poured a little on my lips, wetting them for me, "How do you feel, babe?"

"Confused," my voice came out hoarsely. "What happened? Where's Jasmine? Where's Patrick?"

Naomi took my hand again, "The doctor said I have to tell you everything one at a time. He's afraid you might have PTSD...we don't wanna freak you out."

"You can tell me."

Naomi kissed my hand, "These men hijacked the plane you were on. They killed a bunch of people, they stabbed Patrick and they beat you up. Patrick's okay, he was released last week, and he's really okay..."

"Does he have PTSD or whatever?"

"It's too early to tell, the doctor just said to break everything to you gently."

"Where's Jasmine?"

"She's safe," Naomi smiled, "she's Andy's little girl, can you believe that? Fall Out Boy is gonna be a band of hot daddies one day."

I smiled, feeling my face ache a little.

"Everyone's come to see you, see how you were doing. Your brain had swelled where they'd hit you, do you feel alright?"

"I feel okay."

She kissed me on my lips, "Jasmine told us how you protected her and Patrick. You're a hero, Pete."

I shook my head, "I did what I did so I could come home and see you guys."

"We're proud of you."

"Where're Benji and Lew?"

"They're with your dad," she rubbed my hand and my forearm, "I was going to bring them, but your dad took them to pick up Hilary and George from the airport."

"They're okay?"

Naomi nodded, "They knew you were gonna wake up, they said you were just being lazy."

I laughed, causing my throat to ache. Naomi patted my chest, kissing me again. As she did, the doctor and two nurses, both male, came in, one with a wheelchair. Naomi stood and stepped back, her hand slipping from mine.

"Pete," Dr. Vernon began, "I'm gonna check your vitals, then we're gonna try and get you walking, and then we're going to take you down for a CT scan."

"Alright," I muttered.

The doctor checked my vitals and then they, including Naomi, helped me stand. I almost fell, my legs felt weak; Naomi had her arm around my waist while my arm was around her shoulders. They told me to go slow, to take my time, which I did, it was just my legs hurt and I couldn't wait to sit back down.

One of the male nurses helped me into a wheelchair, "How was that?"

"Hurt," I exasperated.

"We're gonna wheel you down to the CT room. Naomi, you can go have lunch, we'll be down there for awhile," Dr. Vernon informed her.

Naomi frowned slightly, "O...okay. I'm gonna bring my kids in about an hour, is that okay?"

The doctor nodded, "Yes, it's great! Anything to brighten Pete's day."

Naomi came around, leaned down and kissed me; her hand rubbed my facial hair, "I love you, Peter. I'll be back, okay?"

I gave a nod and kissed her back, "Love you too."

Naomi waved to me as they wheeled me off. I wanted her with me, but I knew she'd be back. I just hated to be alone, especially after everything. I was still so confused and I couldn't remember exactly what happened. My head hurt thinking about everything, trying to remember; the nurse told me to relax and to take deep breaths.

They had me lie on this table and it slid me into this huge machine, and it took all of 10 minutes. After that, they did x-rays on my body, mostly my torso, and then they wheeled me back to the room and got me some food. The food wasn't all that good, it was mushy so I wouldn't hurt my fractured jaw while I ate, but I didn't seem to care what it tasted like, I was so fucking hungry.

After I ate, they let me shower; they had to wrap the IV in plastic and helped me wash up. It was kinda embarrassing, but it felt good finally washing up after so long. I had dark purple bruises that were fading all across my body, especially all over my stomach and waist. I washed my hair and had to lean against the wall to rest the ache in my knees. When I was done, the nurse gave me some clean boxers Naomi had brought for me, I put them on and put on a clean robe then he helped me back from the bathroom into the room, where I saw Naomi and the boys. Benji and Lewy were grinning, "Hi dad!"

My stomach knot, I felt like crying, I couldn't even speak.

"I'll help you to bed," the nurse told me, "then I'll leave you all alone."

"Thanks," I said, feeling my throat tighten.

Benji and Lew didn't run at me like I expected, they just waited by the bed for me. I sat on the bed, sat back and then the nurse took the plastic off my arm, leaving after. The boys looked at me, looking excited and eager; Benji climbed on the bed, "Can we hug you, daddy?"

I nodded and opened my arms, "Yeah, you can."

Benji crawled over, making sure he didn't climb on my legs. I exhaled and let tears fall as I hugged him, "I missed you, Benny."

"I missed you too, daddy! You were gone for a long, long time," he muttered.

I felt Lewy climb to my left, and I pulled him up, pain shot through me, but I didn't care. I hugged both of them tight, crying as I did, "I'm sorry."

Lewy hugged me back, "You're okay, dad."

I smiled at his words, "Yeah, I'm okay."

I let them sit on the bed with me after; they touched my face and made comments about my eye; "Does it hurt?" Lew asked.

"Nah, it doesn't."

Benny touched it, wincing, "Are ya sure ya okay?"

I smiled, again, my jaw ached, "I'm okay, Benny. Tell me how you guys been."

"We missed you," he said, "I didn't want to go home till you woke up. Now we can go home."

"Not so fast, Benji," Naomi said, "daddy's got to get better and you guys have to go back to school."

"It's almost Thanksgiving break," Lewy said, looking back at her, "we don't wanna go back yet, we like being here."

Naomi sighed, "Yeah, I know, but we have to go back soon."

"Okay."

Lewy looked back at me, "We watched you on TV, dad. They said you're a big hero," he grinned, "you saved lots of people and you helped Jasmine get out. Patrick is okay because of you too!"

"I'm not a hero, Lew, I was just doing what I had to."

Benji tapped my hand, "Where you scared? I was scared, I was scared you weren't gonna come home."

I pulled him to me and kissed his head, "I wasn't scared, I knew I was gonna come back."

Benji hugged me, "You can't leave no more, okay?"

I chuckled, "Okay."

Lewy joined in, hugging me. The both of them held me tight, telling me that I wasn't allowed to leave them anymore. I was okay with that, I didn't ever want to leave them again.

Naomi was sitting beside the bed, she wiped her eyes and sniffed a couple times. I couldn't help but to start crying again.


I had fallen asleep after Naomi took the boys back to my parents. She said she was coming back, but I didn't really notice if she did or not until I woke up the next morning. I woke up to the TV turning on and some morning news show playing, then it change. I opened my eyes slowly, squinting at the burst of light coming from the right of me.

"Close the blinds, please," I muttered tiredly.

I heard a familiar giggle, causing me to open my eyes fully. I saw Jasmine there, smiling at me; I smiled back, "Hey."

"Good morning," she said sweetly.

The blinds shut, so I looked over and saw Andy; "Hurley, hey man."

Andy turned and looked at me, "Wentz."

I sat up; Jasmine gave me the remote so I could sit the bed up, "He told me to turn it on."

"You're gonna blame me?" Andy joked.

Jasmine giggled again, "It's true, dad."

The smile on his face was bright enough to burn out the sun.

"What're you guys doing here?" I asked.

"Naomi told us we could come see you, she went to get you breakfast," Andy sat in the chair beside my bed; Jasmine sat at the edge of my bed. "How're you feelin'?"

"I'm good, I'm good. How's Patrick?"

"He's recovering nicely," Andy nodded, "he wants to come see you, but he's still sore, he's got stitches. He says it gives him ideas for the band."

I almost forgot about that; "Oh."

"What?"

I shrugged, "I just forgot."

"You still wanna do it? I mean, I...I can understand--"

I stopped him, "Dude, I wanna do it, I just forgot. My head is all over the place. First of all," I looked at Jasmine, "when the hell did you have a kid?"

Jasmine laughed and blushed; I looked at Andy who had a grin again; "Uh...man, 10 years ago...I dunno, this girl was having a summer abroad and we were in New York...it just happened. I didn't know about Jasmine until she was 5 or 6 when we were overseas."

I shook my head, still kinda in shock, "I'm surprised, man, I can't believe you have a kid. A British kid, too!"

They both laughed.

"If I had known about her sooner, she probably wouldn't have the accent."

Jasmine rolled her eyes, but laughed again.

"She looks like you," I told him, "I'm surprised she doesn't have red hair."

"I look more like my mom," Jasmine said.

"Yeah, you're lucky," I joked.

Andy scoffed, "Whatever, man."

"Nah, but for real, Jasmine, you got a kick ass dad. Hurley's one of my oldest friends, I knew him before he turned into a punk rock body mod God."

Jasmine giggled and looked at Andy, "I can't imagine you without all those colors."

"Me either," Andy chuckled. He looked at me and patted my arm, "Hey, y'know, thanks for taking care of Jas for me. I was afraid you guys wouldn't make it, but Naomi reassured me."

"You don't have to thank me, dude. I would've done it regardless of whose kid she is...I was thinkin' about Lew and Benji, and I couldn't imagine them in that situation without knowing that they'd be okay."

"I'm so grateful," Andy stood up and leaned over, hugging me, "thanks."

I hugged him back, "Yeah, no problem."

After Andy, Jasmine came over and hugged me, "Thank you, Pete. I don't know how I would've made it up there without you."

I patted her back, "You're welcome, kid."

Jasmine sat back down at the edge, and smiled at me. After a few quiet seconds, Naomi returned, "I brought hash browns and these cute mini pancakes."

I smiled when I saw her, "Thank God."

Naomi set the bag of food on the table beside me, "Sorry I didn't bring--"

Andy stood up, stopping her, "It's cool, Naomi, we gotta go, my mom is still setting up Jasmine room at my house."

Naomi nodded, "Okay, well come by whenever, we'll be at my dad's."

"Sure thing."

We all hugged before they headed out. Naomi then sat beside me and got the food out, "Jasmine is a little cutie," she said, "and she's so sweet."

"I can't believe he has a kid," I mumbled.

"Me either, but strange things happen all the time."

I ate a little, taking my time with chewing; Naomi poked at her food and then took my hand in hers, "My nightmare came true, Pete."

I looked at her with furrowed brows, "What nightmare?"

"That one I had all those months ago...about you getting hurt on a plane and me not being able to help you."

I swallowed the bit of food in my mouth, "But I'm fine."

"Yeah, I know, but you wouldn't believe how freaked out I was when you were up there. When you called, I thought I would crumble at any moment...Lewy kept telling me that you said you'd see us later, that you never said bye, so you'd be okay."

"Is that why he always says see you later? So he'll know I'll come back?"

She nodded, "I didn't know that until we heard about the hijacking."

"I'm okay, and I'll be okay. I don't needa be here, you know. I wanna get out of here and go home."

Naomi shook her head, "You need to get better. You and Patrick both are stubborn; he couldn't wait to leave either."

"I hate being in the hospital."

"I know, but you've got to get better," she squeezed my hand, "you'll be out of here soon."

I sighed, "Yeah...I hope so."