You Can Fight Fate, You Just End Up Losing

I was just over the border when my phone rang, for the 5th time when I crossed the border, and the 8th time in Toronto, he was calling. I hadn’t listened to any of the messages nor do I plan to. Not right now anyway. I can’t talk to him and be rational. I can’t talk to him without breaking down and forgiving him. I checked into the hotel that we normally stay on our way to our parents. I needed sleep before driving the rest of the way. But there was something I had to take care of first.

‘Addie, I know you’re probably mad but I had to do this. This is about my future, I hope you can understand that. Call me.’

‘Ok so this is normally the point in our fights that you call me back and you haven’t so I’m starting to worry, that maybe it’s worse than I thought. I’m sorry Adds. Please call me.’

‘Are you alright? I’m really worried that something has happened to you.’

‘Addison Call me.’

‘It’s been 8 hours, where are you?’

‘If you’re on the side the road somewhere I’m going to feel like a real jerk so please Addie call me, at least so I know you’re ok.’

“I just talked to mom, I’m glad that you’re at least talking to them. Call me if you get tired.’

‘I know that you don’t want to talk to me, I get it. I was an ass and I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have taken her side over you. You’re my best friend and I’ve known you my entire life. You should always be my choice. I’m guessing that you’re sleeping or on the way to Toronto still but at least let me know that you’re safe. Please.’

I was getting ready to go to sleep when my phone rang again. Thinking it was my mom I answered without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello.”

“Addie, you finally answered.”

“Oh, Tanner.”

“Did you get my messages?”

“Yea all of them. And as you can tell I’m alive and well.”

“Are you in Toronto?”

“Yea.”

“Good, make sure you get extra chocolates on the pillows.”

“Why you always ate them all.”

“I know.”

“Then why would I want them.”

“For me.”

“Tanner you’re not making any sense.”

“Open your door.”

“Why?” I asked standing up from the bed.

“Just do it.” Reluctantly I walked to the door and opened it. “Hi” he said hanging up his phone.

“What are you doing here?”

“Making sure you’re alright.”

“So you flew to Toronto.”

“Yea.”

“Are you insane?”

“That would explain a lot.”

“No, you don’t get to tell me to leave and then show up here like a knight in shining armor. That’s not how this works. I’m still beyond mad at you.”

“Understandable.”

“Come in before we wake up the entire floor” I said taking a deep breath. “You can’t just show up out of the blue and expect me to forgive you Tanner. Grand gestures like this only work in romantic comedies. You hurt me when you chose her over me this morning. I never asked for you to pick, I just wanted my friend.”

“I know and I realize that, that’s why I bought the first ticket to Toronto I could get. To tell you that I was sorry to your face. You only ever believe me when you can see me. . .”

“Because when you’re lying I can see it in your eyes.”

“Addie, I love you, you’re my best friend and I shouldn’t have picked Kelsey this morning. You mean way more to me than she ever will. So what if coach benches me my senior year . . . Holy shit coach is going to bench me my senior year” he said sitting down in disbelief.

“No he won’t, you have far too much talent and he won’t risk the season over something like that. And if he does then we’ll just bet him that Sidney Crosby’s oldest child can shoot just as hard as their father and you’ll have to play.”

“Bribe him with dad. Good plan” he smiled.

“I’m not bribing him with daddy, I’m saying we need to show him who you’ve been honing your skills with your entire life.”

“Yea because he’d take you seriously.”

“Excuse me, if I recall I kicked your ass last time we play against each other.”

“I let you win.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Name the time and place Princess.”

“The Maple Leaf practice arena 20 minutes.”

“It’s kind of late.”

“Whimping out sweetie?”

“No, you’re the one who has been driving all day. Wouldn’t want an unfair advantage.”

“And you’re the reason I was. So get your shit together. I can still kick your ass.”

”I hope you’re prepared to lose.”

“Oh it’s on Letang” I said walking right up to him, “If you’re lucky I might go easy on you Tan.”

“No I think it’s the other way around Adds. If you’re lucky I’ll let you win” he said closing the gap between us.

“You can’t intimidate me Tanner. I’m know your weak points. Like how you can’t go left, you’re slower than me. I own you Tan.”

“You own me . . .”

“Pretty much” I shrugged with a smirk. “You know, you have your dads eyes. Dark, calculating, constantly on guard, but warm, soft, and kind all at the same time. It took forever for me to be able to read them. But lately . . .”

“What?”

“I can’t get a read on you . . . It’s like you switched languages without telling me.”

“I’m sorry Addie.”

“Maybe we’ve just been on different pages. Hopefully I can catch up” I said looking away from him.

“What are you talking about? You catch up, Addie, you’re the one who is ahead of me. You know what you want out of life, you’re so ambitious, and you do whatever it takes to get what you want; except when it might hurt someone else. You would rather put your dreams on the back burner than hurt someone” he said holding my face in his hands. “I wish I was on the same page as you, trust me.”

“Sometimes it’s better to think of yourself though Tan. Saves a lot of heartache, and disappointment.”

“Don’t say that Adds. Who could break your heart? You’re too sweet to hurt.”

“Really, too sweet to hurt? If only everyone felt the same way Tan.”

“Who hurt you?” he asked angrily.

“No one” I said with a smile. “It doesn’t happen when you don’t let anyone close enough to hurt you.”

“Ok you’re either too tired to think straight or you’re serious.”

“Both?” I offered. “Maybe hockey is a bad idea this late” I added yawning.

“Maybe, let’s just stay in.”

“Just so you know, I would have totally kicked your ass.”

“Yeah yeah princess whatever you say” he said as I crawled into bed.

“You know I hate when you call me that.” He sat on the bed resting his back on the headboard.

“Yea. I also know that you flirt like crazy when you’re drunk, you’re too honest when you’re sleepy, and you’re the sweetest prettiest girl that I know” Tanner said looking away from me as he said the last part.

“You’re just saying that . . .”

“Nope. I’m not.”

“Tanner why are you so sweet but so dumb at the same time?”

“Genetics?” he replied scooting down so we were laying there facing each other.

“No, genetics have nothing to do with it Tanner” I smiled.

“Yea, I’m just not the sharpest tool in the shed.”

“Lies.”

“Meaning?”

“You’re incredibly bright Tan. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“You really are the sweetest girl I know.”

“Sweetest and sleepiest.”

“Then go to sleep Adds.”

“Tan, I have a crazy idea.”

“We should stay in Toronto for the week since it got hijacked by the now bitter ex-girlfriend.”

“Exactly! See you are smart.”

“Do you think that our parents will mind?”

“No, well. Daddy might go a little crazy. ‘TANGER KEEP YOUR SON AWAY FROM MY ADDIE!’” I said mimicking my father.

“Yea, he must have said that a million and a half times.”

“Pretty much” I laughed. “He loves when we hang out alone.”

“It’s not like we’re dating, or anything like that” he scoffed. I don’t know why but I felt hurt.

“Yea” I whispered. “It’s not like we’re dating.”

“Adds?”

“Yea?”

“You’re the only consistent thing in my life. You’re always here for me.”

“What are you talking about?” I said placing my hand on his cheek. “You have your mom and dad, and my parents.”

“Yea but you you’re always been there, no matter what.”

“Tan” I whispered cupping his face in my hands. “I love you, so much, why wouldn’t I be there for you?”

“You always are.”

“And I always will be.” I kissed his forehead before turning over to lay on my stomach. “Goodnight Tanner.”

“Goodnight Addie” he said rubbing my back lightly.