Status: Slow active due to uni work

Broken Bones and Shattered Hearts

Broken

Chapter Seven.

Bam gulped as he looked down at Alex’s motionless form lying on the hospital bed. All of this was his fault. Why had he been stupid enough to meet up with Jenn? He didn’t care for her in the slightest, and now the girl he truly loved was fighting for her life because of him. After taking off from the party in Vivian’s car, heavily intoxicated, Alex had crashed into a wall and suffered severe head and abdominal injuries.

It was now nearly two o clock in the morning and the doctors had finally allowed Bam and Vivian to see her. Bam had sobered up the instant he discovered that she had crashed and along with Ryan had made his way straight to the hospital.

Alex was unconscious for a week. During this time Bam never left her side. He was tearing himself apart with guilt and while Ryan recognised that what his friend had done was unacceptable, he felt bad seeing Bam in this way.

“Dude, what were you thinking?” Ryan asked, when Bam finally agreed to leave Alex to get a coffee.

“I wasn’t.” Bam sighed. “I didn’t do anything. I just sat there and that’s the problem. I should never have even agreed to talk to Jenn, now I’ve messed things up so bad, I don’t know what to do.”

Ryan sipped his coffee, considering his friend’s predicament.

When Alex finally regained consciousness she saw Bam sitting by her bed and started shouting and swearing. It was a relief to see that she was the same old Alex, but it hurt to hear her say those things about him. Vivian had to push Bam out of the room in a bid to calm her daughter down, and for the extent of her time in hospital Alex refused to see or get in contact with him.

One morning when Alex was well on the road to recovery, Ryan turned up with some flowers and a letter. It had been a month since the crash, and now all Alex had to show for it was a broken leg and a few scars. Alex was sitting on the bed, trying to scratch beneath her cast. Ryan laughed at her frustration.

“It’s the moment of truth.” He grinned. “The flowers are from Bam.”

Alex ignored the flowers as Ryan handed her a large brown envelope. Alex smiled nervously as she tore it open. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she found out that she had graduated from high school with top grades and had been accepted into Stanford University.

“Congratulations!” Ryan grinned, glancing down at the paper. “You did loads better than me, but I still got on my apprenticeship.”

She looked at Ryan uncertainly and took a deep breath. “I’m going to do it.” She told him. “I’m going to California.”

Ryan nodded, accepting her decision. “I’ll miss you.”

She squeezed his hand tightly. “You can come and visit whenever you want. I just need to get out of this place.”

“What about...” Ryan started, looking at his cousin warily.

“Bam? I don’t know. I don’t want to think about him.” She admitted.

“He loves you, you can’t just disappear from his life you know.” Ryan said quietly.
Alex shrugged, picking at the corners of the paper in an attempt to ignore the conversation.

“Alex. Promise me you’ll at least talk to him before you leave.”

“Fine.” She mumbled, throwing the envelope at Ryan in annoyance and only narrowly missing his eye. Her cousin was so damn frustrating sometimes. She suspected Bam had probably asked Ryan to talk her into seeing him, which annoyed her even more.

Alex was released from hospital the day before her plane left for California. It was such a relief to get out and feel fresh air in her lungs. Remembering her promise to Ryan, she had persuaded Vivian to drop her off at Bam’s house on the way back so that she could say her goodbyes.

“Are you sure you want to see him?” Vivian asked worriedly from the front seat. She had not stopped fussing from the second they got out of the hospital doors.

“Mom, just leave it.” Alex sighed, struggling to get out of the car with her leg in plaster. “I owe him a goodbye. That’s all.”

Vivian muttered under her breath, watching her daughter limping towards April’s front door.

“Call me when you want picking up.” She yelled, before driving the short distance to their house.

Alex hesitated at the door, wondering whether or not to knock. This uncertainty was strange and Alex didn’t like it. She wished that everything could go back to normal, but she knew this was impossible. Her hand brushed against the smooth wooden door as she was making up her mind on how to handle it. Suddenly there was no longer the need for her to make a decision as the door flew open in front of her and she was greeted by the sight of Bam in his pyjamas. She couldn’t help but stare at Bam. His hair was now brown again and had grown considerably over the past few months so that it fell in ringlets around his face.

Before he could say anything, Alex cut to the chase. “I’m leaving.” she told him defiantly, still standing on the door step.

“Alex...”

“Nothing you can say will change my mind Bam. I need to do this.” She continued at a rapid pace, her words were barely distinguishable.

“Will you come inside?” He asked. His reaction told her that he had been forewarned about her departure by Ryan as suspected.

Alex hesitated, before nodding. Bam held the door open for her as she limped inside on her crutches.

“You look so funny in that cast.” Bam admitted, smiling slightly.

Alex started to grin, before remembering how angry she was with him. Rather than retaliate, she bit her tongue and took a seat at the table, waiting for Bam to say something else.

“Let’s go somewhere more private.” Bam muttered as Jess and his friends entered the kitchen.

Alex agreed and followed him upstairs as best she could with her cast. They sat on the bed in silence. Alex had rehearsed the conversation in her head numerous times whilst in hospital, but now she was face to face with Bam she was lost for words. It was going to be harder than she had imagined.

“I’m moving to California.” She told him quietly.

Bam felt his throat tighten and he fought back tears. He deserved this. He deserved to lose the one thing that mattered most to him, and he knew there was nothing he could say that make her stay.

“I understand. I just want you to know that I’m sorry for what happened that night...”

Alex nodded. “I’d better go.” She stood up and went to towards the door but Bam grabbed her arm before she could reach the handle.

“Stay the night.” He whispered, tightening his grip on her wrist.

“I can’t Bam.”

“Please. Just one last night.” He stared at her, pleadingly.

Alex had no fight left in her, and reluctantly sat back down on the side of the bed. She looked into Bam’s eyes and saw all of the hurt, regret and anger he was feeling. She loved him, there was no denying that fact and it pained her to see him like this. She put her own feelings of anger and hurt to one side for the night. For one last night together.

Alex woke up the next morning and suddenly everything came flooding back to her; the night before and the fact that she was leaving in a few hours. Feeling dirty and ashamed of herself, she slipped her clothes back on and headed for the bedroom door.

Before leaving, she turned back to Bam’s sleeping form. She couldn’t leave like this. It was wrong. No matter how much he had hurt her, Bam deserved a proper goodbye. She scrawled a note on a piece of scrap paper and placed it into his hand.

‘My plane leaves at three.’

The cards were in his hand now.

At half past two, Alex stood in the departure lounge feeling sick. She had no idea if Bam would show up. In a way she hoped he wouldn’t, it would make leaving so much easier.

Just as she started to imagine never seeing his face again, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around slowly to see Bam standing behind her. He looked at her sadly. Nothing could have prepared her for how hard this would be. She looked into his eyes and felt her own well up with tears.

“You’re really going?” he asked. “Last night didn’t change anything?”

She nodded silently.

“I love you.”

Alex did not reply. She could not bring herself to say anything. She knew she loved him too, but saying it back would only hurt him even more, she was sure of it. Sleeping with him had been such a stupid thing to do. She could never take it back and she hated herself for it. She looked at Bam sadly before turning on her heel and leaving. As she made her way to the boarding gate, she glanced over her shoulder for the final time, leaving Bam standing alone in the middle of the room.

“Goodbye.”