It Should've Been Me Instead Of Him

John.

I tried to open my eyes as the sun shone through the opened window. Even though snow flew everywhere, the sun stayed shining. It meant it was a beautiful morning, but unfortunately I couldn't pass this morning with Julie because she had to go to college. Wait.. Where was Julie? She must've been the one who opened my window. What time was it? I threw my covers back before sitting upright and grabbing my cell phone from the nightstand. I looked at the screen phone and found out it was 11 am already. Shit! Julie must've gone to college. With whom did she go?

As I started panicking, suddenly my phone buzzed. A new text message.

Unknown: hey John, it's Julie. I'm using Luna's phone. Be Cam's at 5! I'll be there with Cam and Luna. See you x

I smiled towards the text. I relieved knowing her with Luna and Cam. They were good friends though for Julie.

I got up and rushed my steps to the bathroom. Maybe taking a shower would make me better. I had been over sleeping and it was sucks. I turned the cold water on before turning the hot knob so that the water temperature was more comfortable and let the water run over my head.

Once I was done, I dried off and a towel covered around my waist before I got back to my bedroom and pulled on my tee shirt and a pair of trousers. I felt better now. I made my way to the kitchen to make some sandwiches and a glass of milk for my breakfast lunch. As I took a bite of my sandwich, suddenly my phone buzzed through my trousers. I didn't notice who called as I picked up.

"Hello?" Once I heard Zack's voice answered from the other line, I remembered about what he did to me yesterday. How jerk he was. "What's up? If you're just gonna yell at me, it'll be better if I hang-"

"No, no! Don't hang up, please?" I swallowed the lump in my throat, was he begging me for real? "I'll just sorry about the last conversation. I knew I was wrong when I yelled at you."

"Good. Forgiven. Then what'd you want to talk about?"

"Umm.. I called Julie several times but her phone's off." I had known that. It was why she texted me via Luna's. "I know she's still upset about-.. you must know. I just wondered if she was with you and want you help me, can you?"

"I don't think if she's still mad at you because she quite often smiled last night. You know as well that she forgets about things easily, don't you? She's your girl, of course you know her better than me." I paused. "Maybe her phone battery's dead? What do you want me to help you about?"

"Yep, you're right." I heard him sigh on the other line. "Just tell her how sorry I am and leaving her is the worst thing ever. I miss her like everything. And I'll be back right on our anniversary."

Anniversary? Yep, theirs was on February 21st and it was 6 days left until their first month. Sometimes I wondered when I would celebrate my anniversary with Julie. Even we hadn't had something special. Just best friends. I laughed at myself for thinking of the impossible things. "I'll tell her soon."

"And.. Please take care of her."

"I will."

"Thank you. I know you're the best."

I rolled my eyes towards his words before hanging up. What did he mean about 'the best'? Did he mean I was the best for Julie? Then why did he take her from me?



I arrived at 64th street about 4.25 pm. I parked my car right in front of a big house, where literally was Cam's. As I got out the car, I made sure that I had already worn my hoodie. It was cold outside, of course cause it was winter. I rang the doorbell several times before eventually a middle-aged woman opened the door. She smiled at me when she looked at my direction, I was freezing because how cold the air outside.

"You must be John, come on in." She moved aside to let me in. "They're in the basement already."

I nodded my head slowly. "Oh yes, thank you Mrs. Leahy."

Once I was inside the house, Mrs. Leahy led me down to the basement where Cam, Luna, and Julie were. When Mrs. Leahy called Cam, they all turned to face me and how happy I was when I saw Julie smiled towards my arrival. She jogged towards me before grabbing my wrist and leading me to the sofa where Luna and Cam was sitting.

Luna looked at the clock. "It's still 4.30 anyways. You're too early, John." She chuckled.

I frowned as I took a seat next to Julie. "Am I not expected to come early?" My voice sounded sarcastic. It was why suddenly Julie looked up at me and widened her eyes before nudging my arm with her elbow. I knew it signified that she didn't like my attitude right now. I rolled my eyes before chuckling. "It was just kidding, you know?"

"Anyways, John doesn't like to be late because he doesn't like everyone who's usually late. And you guys have to know how bored he was when the traffic jam made us late arrived at Crispo about 15 minutes. It's funny sometimes." Julie chucked and I rolled my eyes.

Our conversation continued until eventually Cam decided we had to clean up the basement for our first day of teaching tomorrow. It'd be nice, I thought. Julie had never lost the smile on her face since I sang and played the guitar. I didn't know why. She must've quite often seen Alex played guitar but then why did she look really beaming when she looked at my skills of music? Alex was better than me, actually.

About 10 pm, Julie and I got back home. She said she was too exhausted of everything she had done today. She told me about her college in the drive home. She told me how much she hated French because she couldn't even understand it and she was lucky cause she met Luna who was an expert of it. If only she knew that I also could help her about that lesson. After telling about all she did today, now her turn was listen to me. I told her about Zack and what he said to me on the phone. Julie didn't talk much as she was listening to me, but she quite often nodded. She seemed like she wasn't still mad at Zack. Like I said, she forgot about things easily. As I didn't hear her voice again, I glanced at her direction and saw her falling asleep at the passenger seat next to me. It proved that she really was exhausted today.

I didn't know why but getting to know Julie was the best thing ever. She made up everything. She made me smile again after I hadn't smiled for long time after Becky's death. She made me being talkative again and now she made me making friends with good friends like Luna and Cam. I thought Zack was lucky of having her as his girlfriend. If only I could be her boyfriend first.

I parked my car in the driveway but she was still asleep. I took an initiative to carry her to her bedroom and laid her down on her bed. Before leaving her as the sleeping beauty, I bent down to reach her ear and whispered. "I love you, Julie."

If she could hear what I whispered, I hoped she'd guess it was her dream.