It Should've Been Me Instead Of Him

John.

I really couldn't stand it. Julie snapped me. She accused me. She cornered me. What she just did wasn't what she used to do. Well, she did use to do it but it was long time ago and ever since it was announced that we were officially best friends, she didn't use to it. We had never quarreled anymore and I was glad although she kept on being childish.

I sighed. She just defended Zack, the one who she didn't have to defend. We just did quarrel because of him after a very long time not doing that bad thing. My only question; why was it supposed to be Zack? I could let it slide normally as if there was nothing if he wasn't Zack. But it was him at all.

The image of Julie filled my head a sudden. The way she smiled. The way she laughed. All those things looked better while Zack was in Towson. It was just being troubles when he came back here. He would've always been the barrier between me and the ones I loved.

I rested my head on my hand. I kinda frustrated of thinking about it until the ring tone of my phone pulled me out of the thoughts. Well, I was saved by the call. I saw the screen and it was obvious that Cam was calling because it was 12.30 already and the appointment was at 1 pm.

"You should get ready be-"

I just chucked lightly in response, cutting him off. "I know and I'll be there in 15 mins, okay? And I thank you because you've saved me from-"

I stopped myself before everything was being worse. "What do you-" before he couldn't even finish his sentence, I hung up. I grinned to myself. I was such a bad friend.



"So what do you want to play, kid?" I was in the basement of Cam's, teaching a little boy how to play guitar well.

"I want a song from Westlife, sir."

"Sir? I'm only 23." I frowned and I heard Luna chuckle with Cam and the other kids. I rolled my eyes at them but smiling widely at the kid in front of me. "Just call me John."

"You should call me Tom instead of kid then." He rolled his eyes. "I'm 17 already."

"Alright. So what song of Westlife do you want to play, Tom?"

"If I Let You Go." He grinned.

It was the song which Becky loved the most. The song reminded me about Becky. The happiness with her was the most but there was a little something....

"And of course, I would. I would be the best birthday present ever for you, John." With that, she was being my girlfriend.
-
Everything I did tonight was just felt right. I had never dropped the smile from my face while having a little conversation with Alex and Stella. "Where's Zack anyway?" I suddenly asked because I hadn't seen him yet again ever since the party started.

Stella just shrugged her shoulders in response but Alex spoke up. "He's been gone since-"

He couldn't even finish his sentence when suddenly we heard some noises from the kitchen which more sounded like.. the sound of glass breaking? My thoughts then filled by my new girlfriend, Becky. She excused herself to the toilet but it was almost half an hour ago. I immediately excused myself to check on it. I was a little worried about her. If something bad happened to her, it would be purely my fault.

"I said I love you!" it was Zack and he was screaming. I rushed my steps but being dumbfounded when I saw what was happening in the kitchen. The sound of glass breaking I just heard was real at all. It was the bottle of Jack Daniels and it spreaded on the floor. My jaw automatically clenched and my blood race all over my body when I saw his lips attached to hers roughly. "You just have to be mine!"

"You know I'm John's! You know that, Zack and you're just my best friend!" Becky tried to push him away but he was so much stronger than her. He gripped her waist hard and tears started streaming down her cheeks. I knew she was in pain. He was gonna rape her and I couldn't let it slide. I needed to rip him off.

My hands clenched. I just gotta punch that bastard on his face but someone stopped me, grabbing my hand before I could even do what I was gonna do. "Calm down, John." It was Stella. "He really loves her and it hurts for him to see her being with you. Just let it slide and you can be with me instead." She smiled just like a whore.

"Fuck!" I snapped, pushing her away hard. I saw Alex catch her and I immediately ran towards Zack, grabbing his neck. I punched him right on his jaw. "Fuck you! What are you doing to my girl?!"

"John!!" I heard Becky scream and I reluctantly stopped my actions to turn at her. "Please don't. He's just drunk and however, he's my best friend."

She was right. He was just drunk cause I could smell the alcohol from his mouth and the fact that a bottle of Jack Daniels just broke. It must've been because of him. "But he was gonna rape you! You can't even defend this bastard. He-"

"Please John, for my sake." She cut me off and I couldn't help but letting go of Zack when suddenly she spun me around and hugged me tight. I could just hug her back in return. "I-I love you, John. Just never let me go, okay?"

I sighed loudly. I could just soothe her with stroking her hair and giving her a peck on top of her head. "Yeah, I promise. I promise I'll never let you being all alone. I'll never let anyone being such a douchebag towards you."

My head ached so bad and my vision blurred. I could just massage my temples with my fingers to relieve the pain. Remembering the flashback was always suck and this time, it reminded me about Julie again. What she just did this morning.. It was just like what Becky had done years ago, defending Zack. That bastard was always lucky. Fuck him.

"John? Are you okay?" A hand waved over my face and soon my vision was back to normal.

I smiled weakly and just nodded my head. “It’s fine, Tom.”

With that, suddenly a hand placed on my shoulder. I turned my face and saw Luna’s worried face. “You look so pale, John. You’ll better be home and take a rest.”

I shook my head but Cam interrupted. "Yes, you will." He then turned to Luna. "You better drive him home, honey. I'll manage these kids."

She then gave me a ‘come on’ look and I immediately got up. “Okay then, but this one is Tom.” I ruffled Tom’s hair playfully as I forced a smile.

“Hope you’ll be better on Thursday, John!” Tom shouted before I stepped out the basement with Luna and I could just show my thumb at him. He was such a good kid.



“Are you sure, not wanting me to bring you to the clinic?” Luna asked once again as she drove. It had been three times she asked and I just nodded my head. I didn’t need to go to clinic. I wasn’t sick at all, I was just being.. sad maybe? of thinking about how similar Becky and Julie were in defending Zack. Lucky Zack and poor John. She suddenly placed a hand on my forehead and I reluctantly turned to face her this time. “You’re not fever. I actually know that you’re not sick, just tell me or Cam if you have problems. You know, you’re just like our family. So yeah.. And if it’s about Julie-”

“Nah..” I interrupted. I felt like someone stabbed me right on my chest when she mentioned Julie. I should’ve been frowning or more like rolling my eyes because of this feeling but I found myself grinned widely instead. She looked away from the road for awhile to smile at me before focusing back on the road. She was more like ready to listen to me right now. “I don’t know what kind of feeling it is but it’s like I’m always being worried when she’s with.. that guy?”

“You mean Zack? Just admit that you’re actually jealous!” She exclaimed and chuckled all of a sudden. I rolled my eyes and she stopped eventually. “So what do you want? You can’t just tell her that you don’t like her boy. She'll probably be so upset, moreover he’s your best friend right?”

“But I did. How great I was to tell her that I didn’t like her boyfriend. And.. he’s just sort of, not really my best friend.” If he wasn’t Becky’s best friend, I had never even wanted to be his best friend. He was just nasty for me, okay? I wasn’t gonna tell Luna the truth but I wasn’t gonna tell a lie either. “Now I just wanna make sure that she’s alright, cause..” I shrugged.

“Just call her then.”

“We just quarreled again this morning and.. I’m not sure she’s gonna pick my call.”

“You guys did? Cool.” She rolled her eyes. “Let me then..” she stopped the car on the roadside then dialed a number on her phone. “Hey Julie, where are you now?.... Um nothing, it’s just John who wants to make sure that you’re alright..” God she mentioned my name. What the hell? I was sure Julie was gonna hang up soon. “Yeah, but..” Luna turned back at me, smirking. “She hung up.”

I rolled my eyes. “It was because you mentioned my name, duh.”

“Sorry I forgot about that,” she grinned innocently. “But don’t worry she told me where she is first before hanging up. We just have to get there soon.” She winked.

I sighed. It could be even worse, maybe?