Little Laughs

Charlotte Goyle and Draco Malfoy were walking hand-in-hand down the corridors of Hogwarts. The two blonde brats were grinning, satisfied with their tromp with Draco’s “magical” penis, and on their way to actually make it to dinner instead of staying holed up in the sixth year, Slytherin boy’s dormitories. As they walked down the hallway, all eyes were following them and their every move, as if they were going to do something out of their norm. Today, instead of being completely wrapped up in each other, the couple listened in to the whispers that surrounded them.

“Charlotte Goyle is flawless.”

“She’s got two platinum cauldrons and a custom broom.”

“I hear her hair is insured for a million galleons.”

“I hear she met the lead singer to the Weird Sisters in Paris and he told her she was pretty.”

“I hear she does broomstick commercials…in Japan.”

“She hit me in the face with a bat-bogey hex once. It was awesome.”

Draco let out a low chuckle at the things that were being said about his beautiful, stunning girlfriend and he leaned over, kissing her cheek softly. Charlotte merely wrapped her arm around his torso, grinning crookedly as they entered the Great Hall. They took their place at the Slytherin table and Draco leaned over to give Charlotte a kiss on the lips. Somewhere down the Slytherin table, Pansy Parkinson melted into sobs. Before the dinner appeared on the tables, Dumbledore stood from his spot at the head of the table and the hall hushed immediately.

“Professor Snape will like to have a meeting with Slytherin house after supper, so years 3-7 stay behind or those who leave will receive detention,” he said before giving a nod to the Slytherin table before settling back down into his seat. The food, which the house elves must have slaved over since lunch had been served, appeared on the table and immediately the voracious students began to nosh away on it. One would think that they never fed the students of Hogwarts, but these were teenagers here. They were growing and they needed their protein. Eventually, the rest of the students, spare the Slytherin students that were asked to stay, trickled from the Great Hall.

Professor Snape stood from his seat, as the rest of the professors had left the room as well, and walked over to the Slytherin table. He stood at the head of it, clasping his hand in front of him, as his long black robes billowed after him before finally coming to a rest.

“It has come to my attention, students,” he started in the deep, silky voice as his inky black eyes roamed the Slytherins, “that the most noble Slytherin house has fallen under bad reproach with the other houses.” He raised a thick black brow as he looked down his hooked nose at the students. “Before you ask questions, I need to set one thing straight with you students.” He slammed his hands onto the lacquered surface of the long table hard, causing the students nearest to him to give a small jolt. “Do. Not. Have. Sex.” His slow, smooth drawl was punctuated and he had the undivided attention of all the Slytherins in the room. “You will get pregnant and you will die,” Snape said, his eyes widening a bit. “Do not have sex in the missionary position. Do not have sex standing up. And do NOT have sex on a broomstick.” Both Charlotte and Draco smothered laughter behind their hands and had to lower their heads so the Potion’s Master wouldn’t see them.

Professor Snape slowly straightened his back and stood up straighter, crossing his arms over his chest. He stared down at the students for a moment longer before his lips tightened almost imperceptibly before he let out a heavy sigh. “You may go,” he said finally, bypassing all the students and nearly taking a few out with his heavy, black, billowing cloaks. Charlotte and Draco sat there for a moment, merely looking at each other with matching twinkles in their eyes that caused Gregory Goyle to give a small wretch.

“Merlin’s saggy underpants, you two are absolutely sickening,” he hissed, putting two-and-two together and deciding that they had probably done something on a broomstick multiple times. With that, he stood up from the table and left, shaking his head in disgust. Charlotte glanced over to Draco and took his hand in hers, slowly pulling him from the Great Hall. Charlotte spotted the bottle blonde hair of one Pansy Parkinson ahead of them.

“Hey, Pansy,” Charlotte called in a sing-song voice, stopping as she just excited the Great Hall doors as she stood in the back of the Entrance Hall. Draco stopped beside her and looked down at her with a curious expression as the dog-faced girl spun around and looked cautiously at Charlotte.

“What is it, Goyle?” She asked. Charlotte merely grinned spitefully at the girl as she decided she was going to have a bit of fun with her. She then turned and looked up a Draco, running her hand over his perfectly quaffed hair.

“Draco looks so…sexy with his hair pushed back,” she said, smirking a bit as Draco’s eyes met her and he finally got what was going on. “Pansy, tell Draco he looks sexy with his hair pushed back.” Pansy’s upturned face wrinkled even further as she stomped off from the two of them and Charlotte gave a spiteful laugh at her back.

“You’re so mean, Charlie,” Draco murmured, placing a kiss to her temple.

“She deserves it for the hell she put you through last year,” Charlotte retorted with a small shrug as she looked back up at Draco. Draco’s eyes met hers and matching grins curled their lips.

“Let’s go to the Quidditch Pitch and do what we were just told not to,” he whispered in her ear and she let out a small giggle, nodding excitedly as the tall, blonde boy began to pull her from the Entrance Hall as quickly as he could.