You're Never Gonna Find It if You're Looking for It

Zoe begged me to stay.

She begged me until even Bert was on his knees.

so i stuck around.

I mean, i honestly had nothing better to do.

But when Jeph came around...

Boy, was i pissed.

"Hey, Hazel, can i talk to you?" Jeph asked.

I glared at him. "Sure."

I knew exactly what i was going to do.

He led me off to a sort of secluded place. I half expected him to start sort of...raping me, and beating me and stuff, because of where we were.

But even before he said i word, i started it all.

I slapped him. "What the fuck is wrong with you!?" I yelled at him. He looked very taken aback. "You fucking lead me on, get me into thinking you like me, only to fucking turn around and already have a girlfriend! Seriously, what the fuck goes on in your fucking mind?"

He just sat there, slightly shocked and with a hint of hurt in his eyes.

I ignored it. How could i do anything else? He fucking hurt me, and he was going to get what he deserved.

I walked back to the skate park, with every intention of leaving if i wasn't afraid of what Zoe would do to me if i didn't stay.

I sat on a bench outside of the fence that blocked the ramps, and just stared at the ground.

I was so stupid to think that, even if it was just for a second...that the way he talked to me...and looked at me...actually meant something.

((A/N: Ahaha, Roxannes sitting next to me, saying 'She needs a hug' ahaha. Funny))

Jeph ended up coming back after a couple of minutes.

My first thought was 'How can he just fucking show his face like that?'

I could have slapped him again. But before, we werent in public, so it was like 'Oh, I can do this, and people won't be nosy!'. But in public, people would either be all 'Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!' or 'What's happening!?'

He gave me a few sympathetic glances, and i only shot him glares in return.

I don't think i could ever understand how he could do that to me...

All that actual thinking about him was completely in vain...

i felt so stupid...

And used.