Show My Cards, Gave You My Heart

I had rocked Madalynn to sleep successfully and just laid her down for bed. I myself, was tired from traveling from America to the UK. I crawled into bed and buried my face in a pillow, squeezed my eyes shut, and took in the warmth of the blankets. I felt extremely lonely without Haley by my side.

I guess I had been asleep for awhile, but I was awoken by the sound of my phone ringing. I sat up and picked it up, reading the contact with blurry vision. It was the hospital. "Hello?!" I quickly answered, not giving it time to ring a third time.

"Mr. Gaskarth, this is Haley's doctor at LifeBridge Medical Center." the male's voice came off slow.

"Yes, yes. Is she okay?!"

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mr Gaskarth, but, unfortunately, your wife didn't make it." he sadly said. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Oh.. T-Thank you, s-sir." I stuttered, hanging up.

I found it fairly difficult to breathe. Not even fairly.. More like impossible. My world was crashing down, swallowing me up in pounds of debris, leaving me for death. I slid back down in the bed, choking myself in tears as I cried like I never had before. I wouldn't be able to live without my Haley..

"Alex. Alex! Wake up!" someone hit me in the arm. I gasped and sat up in my seat, looking at my surroundings. I was in a car with everyone, who was turned staring at me like I had lost it. I was sweaty and my breathing was raspy. "We're about there, Alex." Jack patted my shoulder. I nodded and looked down, seeing my daughter smiling up at me.

"Dada?" she batted her long eyelashes at me, sensing something was wrong.

"Yeah, baby." I nodded. "Daddy's fine." I kissed the top of her head and took a deep breath. The car had stopped in front of the same place where we stayed last December. We were staying at Kay's old house for the night to get some rest and the jet lag out of our system before we picked up the tour.

Brooklyn took Madalynn inside out of the cold for me while I helped the guys get all of our luggage carried in. Once it was all in, I picked up Madi from the sofa, taking off to the bedroom where Haley and I had stayed in last time. I sat her back down in the floor so I could fish out her pajamas from my suitcase. She laid down and started to roll from her back to her stomach. I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"You're silly, baby." I laughed, picking her up and held her over my head.

"Dada," she giggled, placing her tiny hands on my face. I brought her back down and kissed her head before I danced around in circles, laughing along with her sweet little giggles.

"You're such a faggot, Alex." I heard Jack behind me. I turned, narrowing my eyes at him.

"What are you then?" I shook my head and laughed again. "What's up, man?"

"I came in to tell you two to get some rest tonight. We leave at one."

"Alright." I yawned. "I'm going to get some rest, I know for sure. I'm exhausted after that long plane ride."

"What the hell did you do the whole time?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Madi and I colored." I stuck my tongue out at him. She mocked me and stuck hers out too.

He laughed and poked her forehead. "Your Daddy is teaching you bad things."

"Tell him, 'oh bite me.'"

"Exact trouble." he shook his head, leaving the room.

"Now it's bedtime!" I told her, walking over to the bed. I laid her down on the bed that was rearranged to the center of the room and readied her for bedtime. I laid in bed with her, singing random songs to her and playing with her hair. Her eyelids were heavy after fifteen minutes of my singing and the hair play. She was like her mom in many ways there. Before her eyes could shut, I kissed her forehead. "Daddy loves you, baby. Goodnight, sweet dreams."

I rolled over and buried my face into the pillow, squeezing my eyes shut. I was realizing how close this felt to the dream I had earlier. I now hoped my phone didn't ring. After ten minutes of silence, I let myself fall asleep.

Her hot breath sent chills down my spine. I was caught up in lust and I wasn't about to deny it. I tore the dress she was wearing off of her and let her tear my clothes off as well. Her tiny moans as I sucked on neck, trying my best to leave a hickey in reminder to her of the wild night she had with me. Our sweaty, bare bodies grinding against each other, her soft moans mixed with mine were all exciting me more and more. "Alex," she whispered, biting the skin of my neck where I was sensitive. "I love you."

"Haley," I groaned loudly. "I love you too."

"Alex!" Jack's loud voice startled me.

"What?!" I peeled my eyes open.

"Wake up, its noon bruh." he smiled. "Madalynn has been calling for you for the past hour."

I took a deep breath and nodded, covering my sweaty face in my hands. "Damn. Okay."

"Hey Alex?"

"What?"

"I don't know what you were dreaming about but whatever it was seemed to get you a little too excited." he snickered. I grabbed a pillow and used it to cover my lower half.

"Why are you looking at my junk, faggot?" I shook my head.

"It's hard not to notice when he's just chilling up, basically waving me a friendly hello."

"You're sick man."

"Get laid, asshole." he shook his head. "Hurry up so Matt doesn't throw a bitchfit."

"Alright." I yawned and sat up. Jack left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts now. That dream was one of the best that I've had in awhile. I didn't have time to think about them now though, I had to get ready before Matt could come in and bitch me out.