Waiting for Life to Begin

“He’s you,” Jack whispered.

W-What? He’s…me? The guy Jack likes is me? That doesn’t make any sense! But before I could say anything, Jack launched himself towards me and pressed his lips firmly to mine.

Jack’s kissing me.

Holy fucking fuck.

*

Then Jack pulled away, a mixture of fear and hope in his eyes, his hands still clutching at my t-shirt. He looks so scared, so vulnerable…but so needy. So I did the only thing I could do. I cupped his face with my hands and kissed him again, my mouth moving eagerly and bruisingly against his. Jack moaned against my lips, his body pressing firmly against mine as his arms wrapped around me. This is exactly what he wants. Holy shit. I’m kissing Jack. After all the thoughts and dreams and wishing…I’m kissing him.

I was brought out of my thoughts as Jack’s tongue begged entrance at my lips, which I parted eagerly, letting him in to tangle with my tongue. This feeling can’t be put into words. I’m just completely consumed with the feel of Jack’s body, his scent, his taste, everything. What the fuck is going on?! All of a sudden, Jack’s hands started to push up my t-shirt, making me freeze and making Jack break the kiss again.

“Pl-Please,” he whimpered.

He wants me? Without thinking, I nodded, letting Jack pull my t-shirt over my head, returning the favour before pulling our lips back together. Fuck, bare skin on bare skin, unfamiliar heat and muscle. Fuck. Jack’s hands continued to explore my body, hands mapping out unknown skin, committing it to memory. Before I knew it, his hips were grinding against mine, and I realised I was hard. Unbelievably hard. How did things heat up this quickly?

“J-Jack, wait, I don’t think…”

Jack just kissed me again, cutting off my protest. I moaned softly, getting lost in his embrace, not fighting him as his hands quickly unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, pushing them down with my boxers until I had to kick them off. Only then did Jack break the kiss, his eyes tracing every inch of my body, lingering on my erection before looking up at me.

“Please, Zack,” he begged.

I swallowed heavily but nodded, reaching for his jeans too. If he wants this…how can I say no? How can I ever say no to him? Once Jack was as butt naked as me, I let Jack push me backwards onto his bed, moaning as he pressed our erections together, moaning even louder as Jack’s thumbs circled my nipples. This was too much. Too much. What the fuck is happening?

“W-Want you so bad, Zack. Can’t stop thinking about you, filling me, taking me, making me yours. Want you inside me,” Jack groaned, sucking a mark to the side of my neck.

Jack wants me. Jack wants me. Holy fucking fuck. Without thinking, I flipped Jack over so I was on top, and reached into the drawer next to his bed, pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom, putting them down on the bed next to Jack. This is the worst idea I’ve ever had. But I can’t stop myself, not anymore.

I grabbed the bottle of lube, only going by what I’d seen in porn. What? It’s not like I’ve got any experience with this.

“H-How many fingers do you want?” I choked, sitting back on my knees.

Fuck, he looks so beautiful. Legs spread out for me, skin all bare and aching for me to taste, hair messed up and eyes blown wide…beautiful.

“Three. I’ll need three,” Jack moaned.

I swallowed heavily but nodded, coating three fingers. With a nervous smile I ducked down to kiss Jack as I placed my fingers against Jack’s entrance. This kiss was different to our earlier ones. It wasn’t rushed, or desperate, or animalistic. It was slow, intense and held the promise of a good fuck. I can’t believe I’m doing this. Jack winced slightly as I pushed two digits in straight away, but didn’t say anything. He could handle this, I’m sure. Soon enough I had three fingers stretching and twisting inside of him, a slight sweat already covering his skin. Fuck, I can’t believe that he’s so worked up without my dick even being inside of him.

All of a sudden, Jack cried out loudly, throwing his head back as his back arched.

“T-There, that’s the spot…”

There’s a spot?

“…please, I need you, please just start! I’m good,” Jack gasped, his hips rising slightly.

I twisted my fingers one last time before pulling them out, Jack desperately clenching around nothing. Fuck, he really does want me, doesn’t he? I wasted no time in rolling the condom over my dick, putting a little bit more lube over myself, because despite how wrecked Jack already looked I don’t want to hurt him. With another kiss to Jack’s lips, I moved Jack’s legs to wrap around my waist, kissing Jack’s lips lightly once more before pushing my tip in. Jack whimpered, already feeling the burn of the stretch. I just grunted. Fuck, Jack was tight already.

All I could do to control myself as I pushed in was to hold my breath, desperately trying not to think about how good Jack felt around me. Sure, I’ve had anal sex with girls before, but none of them held a candle to how Jack feels. The more I inched inside him, the more I felt like I could explode at any second. Holy fuck. As soon as my hips pressed to his ass, I let out a shaky breath, mesmerised by the way Jack’s mouth had formed into an ‘o’, a light sheen of sweat covering his torso already, his eyes almost completely black with lust.

“Just go, Zack,” Jack demanded.

I waited a couple more seconds to control myself, before slowly pulling out, and then slamming my hips forward. Jack could take a fast pace, right? He’s done this before. Jack’s moan let me know that I’d done the right thing, so I kept this force going, snapping my hips firmly against his over and over and over again. The moans spilling from Jack’s lips only urged me on, fuelling my need to please him.

“Want you…need you…feels so good…don’t stop…don’t ever stop…”

Jack kept rambling, his hands clutching as my back as his body writhed, encouraging me to pound into him with no mercy. Wave after wave after wave of pleasure rolled through my skin, clouding my mind, the only thing I could focus on was Jack. He sounded so helpless, so far gone, and I knew it was because of me. I was making him feel so amazing. I was the one who was causing this. Me.

All of a sudden, Jack just cried out, just as he had done when I was stretching him. Had I found ‘the spot’ again? The desperate look in Jack’s eyes told me I had. I pressed a messy, open-mouthed kiss to his lips as I continued to thrust at that angle, roughly, passionately, unrelentingly, feeling the pull of ecstasy all the way down to my toes. Holy fucking fuck, Jack’s getting tighter. Then he flung his head back, breaking our kiss.

“Oh Zack, I…fuck I…I’m…oh my gosh…fucking fuck…Zack!”

Jack arched his back impossibly as he came, shooting hard across our chests, and I couldn’t help groaning loudly as he clamped down around me. Holy fuck. I continued to thrust through Jack’s high, holding off until Jack had collapsed in bliss to hit my own peak, shooting deep into the condom.

“Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack,” I chanted, circling my hips to ride out my orgasm.

Jack mumbled incoherent phrases as I softened inside him, wincing when I finally pulled out. I choked for breath as my hands shakily pulled off the condom, tying it before throwing it into Jack’s bin. My head swam as I grabbed a t-shirt off the floor – I think it’s Jack’s – and wiped my chest clean of his cum. I can’t…I can’t believe that just happened. I just had sex with Jack…and it was the best feeling I’ve ever had. Ever.

But as I turned to look at Jack, smiling softly, the contentment in his eyes turned to shock and panic. What?

“O-Oh my gosh. W-We…no, I shouldn’t have…no, I can’t believe this happened!” Jack whimpered, tears filling his eyes.

Fuck.

“Jack, it’s okay, calm down,” I said quickly, reaching for him.

But Jack shrieked, batting my hands away as the tears in his eyes cascaded down his cheeks. What the fuck is going on?

“D-Don’t touch me, please don’t touch me,” Jack begged.

“Jack, what’s wrong? I thought this was what you wanted,” I said softly.

“It is, but you…no, y-you need to leave,” Jack choked.

Jack’s…kicking me out?

“Why?” I asked, hurt showing in my voice.

“Please, just leave,” Jack whimpered.

A huge pang of hurt throbbed through my body, tears springing to my eyes. Jack…Jack doesn’t want me after all. If he doesn’t want me here, then there’s no way in hell that I’m staying. What the fuck did I do wrong? He was the one begging me, not the other way round. But I know when I’m not wanted. In silence I pulled my clothes back on, not looking at him as I left the house.

What the fuck just happened? I thought…I thought that maybe I’d get my chance, finally get my chance. But I was wrong.

How can something so good, turn so bad?