I See Your Name in Lights

The road was difficult to see as I raced to the bus stop, the street lights were off, the snow covered every inch of concrete, and the rest of the kids I usually stood by were nowhere to be found. I looked around aimlessly, feeling a bit helpless. I decided that I'd missed the bus, then stuffed my hands in my pockets and decided to walk towards school, my string of choice words causing a barely visible whisp in front of my mouth.

I continuously glanced at my phone for the time, realizing I'd probably be late for math. There was a test that day. Damn it.

A car got dangerously close to me, and I shot the driver a what the hell do you do you think you're doing look, but the window rolled down to reveal a concerned-looking Jack. My features softened immediately.

"You need a ride, bro?"

I smiled uncontrollably and opened his door, swinging my bag inside and closing the door in one quick, enthusiastic movement. I brushed the hair out of my face as he began to drive again, watching him intently. "I didn't know you could drive."

We'd quickly become inseparable at school within the first week, only taking a month to become best friends. But I hadn't once spoken to him about things outside of the building's walls other than his large family dinner at Thanksgiving and how I was looking forward to a visit from a set of Grandparents on Christmas in a couple of weeks.

"I've had my license for a few months now," He stated, turning into a familiar street. "The bus ride was too much for me, so here I am."

I grinned. "Do you live far?"

He shook his head as he turned into the school's student parking lot. "No, I'm just on fifth."

I raised an eyebrow. "I talk to you nonstop and I didn't even know you lived on my street?"

Jack parked quickly, then spun around. "You what?"

"I live on the corner, in the white -"

"You live in that house?" He demanded. "Since when?"

"For maybe a year now," I fidgetted. "Since... Yeah, for a year."

He huffed. "That house is huge. I'm jealous."

"Don't be," I mumbled. "It's just the three of us. It gets lonely."

"I'll trade, there even used to be six at my house. I'd do anything for more space between my sisters."

I grinned. "I have to put my shit in my locker; I have a test first hour." I opened the door to race to the building, listening to the 'uhm, goodbye!' from behind. I padded into the school's doors, wiping my feet of excess moisture, after finding my feet were satisfactorily dry; I strolled to my locker and stuffed my bag in it, then grabbed a notebook and a few pencils. If I brought anything else I'd have to stick it beneath me anyway. I turned, glanced at the clock and saw I had two minutes, then booked it for my class.

I slammed into a larger guy unknowingly, and I ricocheted onto the ground with a soft thud. I instinctively brought up a hand to make sure my hair was still just disheveled enough as I liked it, then got up to apologize. The rather intimidating man turned to face me with a defiant stare. I backed away slowly, raising my hands. "I'm... I'm sorry."

"You better be," He growled as he towered over me. I continued backing away.

"Leave it, asshole," I recognized Jack's voice coming from behind me.

"Tell the little faggot to watch where he's going."

"Watch your fucking mouth," Jack approached him, snarling close to his face. I could see theyou're a hypocrite comment coming to the guy's mind, but with a pause, he backed off. Jack stepped close to me to rest a hand on my shoulder and whisper, 'Get to class, Alex. Go."

I nodded silently, and then continued my sprint down the hallway. I heard Jack say something as I left, but I hadn't paid any attention. I flopped in my chair in the middle of the class's room, fixing my hair as the bell sounded. I sighed, pleased that I was on time.
My teacher immediately began the day by the announcement that there was a test, then we were given our papers. The guy who sat next to me took the pen out from behind his ear, then handed me my paper as two were set on our joined desk. I smiled at him as I took it from him, then frowned as he didn't return the favor. The entire month or so we sat next to each other, he hadn't even said hello.

I flew through the test - or so I thought - and turned in the test to the box, glancing at the clock. Twenty minutes until gym. It had been interesting lately - we'd been playing football. I enjoyed the sport, not only because of how good I'd gotten so fast, but also because it left Zack, Jack, and Rian all in good moods for the rest of the day. Apparently, they were all religiously into the sport; the only reason the trio hadn't tried out for the team that year was because they'd decided to finally form a band - which was going nowhere as far as I could tell - instead.

The bell rang and I sprang to my feet, stopping at my locker for things for lit, and arived at the locker room early. I stripped myself out of my clothes as quickly as possible and slipped into my shorts and tank, sitting on the bench between rows of lockers, waiting for my friends. I saw Zack enter, slowly peeling off his form-fitting shirt as if it was a scene in a movie for teenage girls. Rian slapped his ass jokingly, causing his friend to snap and yell at him. Jack finally appeared behind them, about to be late, with a soft purple bruise covering half of his face.

"...What happened?" I gasped slightly. In a whirl, Jack changed his clothes and srhugged at me.

"Consider us even."

I gaped at him. "Did he..."

He shrugged again. "Doesn't matter. Now let's go play some football."

"Football!" Another voice shouted. The guys in the room cheered loudly, then Zack proceeded to slap Jack against the butt. Jack smacked his butt, then a few other guys began hitting eachother inappropriately, and I backed away from whatever was happening. After a while of watching, amused, I decided to be bold enough to hit only Jack. In my excitement, I must have gotten a little carried away and he let out a slight yelp, shooting me a powerfully angry glance. I raised my hands innocently, smirking. He smiled back at me after pulling a face.

The bell rang and the laughing crowd jogged into the gym, ready to go.

Nothing too spectacular happened in the hour we had to run around fighting for a ball, other than my amusement with the game the girls were having on the otehr side of the gym and how well I could catch.. At one point, Rian tripped me and I brought some guy with me; he was much bigger and I was crushed beneath him. At one point I caught myself staring at Jack as he sprinted - distracted until I had my arms locked with someone much stronger.

I'd finally come to grips with the truth - I was staring. At Jack. I wasn't sure what was going on with me - since when have I had the desire to stare at a guy so intently? - but, I'd been distracted by him enough throughout my days at school that I hadn't noticed how bland life was. How every chatty blonde was the same, how all the 'nonconformists' wore the same black garb every day, how I was the only guy who'd accessorized correctly (Though I did get rid of my scarves after a week, already bothered by the looks I'd recieved). Everyone seemed to fit the cliches that I was hoping to avoid. Though it was difficult for me to get used to such monotany, I had found myself becoming quite a social person, recieving several girls numbers and having new friends to talk to online. I had even been invited over to a girl's house, but I had to kindly refuse, having too much 'homework' to catch up on.

Mr. Bissel's whistle pierced the air as Zack slammed the ball into the makeshift endzone, yelling in celebration of his conquest. We all raced back, panting and ready to pass out at any moment after a long hour of streneous gameply. Zack tore his shirt off as soon as he entered, Jack doing the same. They shouted excitedly to each other, stopping at their lockers. I slowly yanked off my shirt and stuffed it into my locker as Jack began telling me about his want to go to a party over the weekend. I turned to look at him in the eye, pushing the fringe out of my eye. He stopped mid-sentance, gulping subtly. I smirked.

"I've never been to a party like that," I admitted, kicking off my shorts.

"Zack usually has one every other month..." he thought out loud. "Merrick!" When's the next party?"

"Either Friday or Saturday, actually," Zack strolled over to us, shirt draped over his shoulder. "I was going to let you know tonight when I talked to my brother."

"Getting a keg this time?" Someone I didn't know well asked loudly.

"Definitely. It wasn't the same last time."

"Jack, are you going to get wasted and dance like an idiot again?" Rian laughed, zipping up the hoodie he was wearing and drifted up over to me. I pulled up my pants as the guys started to crowd, uncomfortable to be standing in my underwear, as Jack was.

"I'd do that anyway," Jack chuckled, finally putting on his clothes and stepped over to me. I pulled my shirt over my head and moved away before my bare torse could have touched him, his body almost uncomfortably close to mine.

"I'm not sure if I'd like to see that or not," I smirked, nudging Jack's ribs with my elbow.

"Oh, you know you do, Gaskarth," He joked back, raising his eyebrows. I let out a loud laugh in response. The bell rang and I scooped up my things, waving at Jack and walking happily with Rian and Zack as they began planning out the party that weekend - who would DJ, if they could get more than a keg, which girls Zack wanted to come. "Of course the twins will, and they'll bring more... Do you think I could talk them into making Katie or Kaden go?"

Rian chuckled at him, then turned his attention to me. "How about you, Lex? Got your eyes on a girl?"

"More or less," I shrugged, answering honestly.

"Nice!" He shouted. "Now.. who is it?"

"I'd rather not say," I admitted, blushing slightly.

"Well, now we need to know," Zack caught me and put me into a slight headlock as we walked. I struggled slightly, not trying very hard in fear of dropping my notebooks and exposing my poetry. "Or I won't invite her!"

"You would anyway," I chuckled, trying my best to walk evenly since Zack hadn't let go.

"Wait..." Rian watched me for a moment, searching my face. "You talk to Rachel a lot next hour..."

"Isn't she in your first class?" Zack released me a bit, letting me breathe. "Is it the twin, Lex?"

I was too embarrassed to tell the truth; I knew my current object of affection wrould get a bitfreaked out if i spoke my mind - so, once again, I hid the truth. "You got me."

"Called it!" Rian cheered triumphantly, Zack released me, and I rubbed my neck.

"I'm going to hook you two up."

"You fail at matchmaker, Zack. I'll do it."

"Just because you've got a girlfriend doesn't mean I'm not better with chicks."

"That's a lie," Rian hissed.

"She'd listen to me."

"Cut it, you guys," I laughed at their ignorance. They both looked at me, confused. "If I want something, I'll go and get it myself."

The guys "oohh"ed at me, and Rian messed up my hair. I pushed my thoughts to the side as they layed out a gameplan as we entered the room, both of them convinced that they'd get me lucky. I chuckled softly at them, amused by how oblivious they were. I showed no signs that I cared.

I practically fell asleep as Zack did most days as the teacher spoke about the ACTs, how important they were for the future, and whatever. I exited happily from the class, knowing where I was going to next, but a hand caught my shoulder.

I spun around to come face-to-face with a pretty doe-eyed girl. She smiled, teeth sparkling brightly. I gulped. "Hello, Rae."

“Hey,” Rae snapped her gum, then outstretched her hand to give me an expertly-folded note. “Just wanted you to have this.”

I took the paper from her hand and reciprocated her smile. “Thanks, I guess.”

“I’ll talk to you later, then,” She turned to walk away, sticking out her ass, obviously trying to get me to stare. She looked back at me with a smirk. “Bye, Alex.”

“Bye,” I waved simply. I unfolded the paper slowly, not wanting to rip it. It had her phone number with a little note that said “text me ;).” I looked up, confused. How the hell did she…?

I shook it off. Next I had a class with Jack, why was I standing in the middle of the hallway? I strolled through the hall alone, smiling to myself. I tucked Rae’s note deep inside my pocket, not paying attention to it. I flopped my books onto my desk as I finally approached it, searching for Jack as I sat. He slunk into his seat as the bell rang, whispering subtly to myself.

“Hey,” I grinned at him, not sure of anything else to say.
“Oh, hi.” Jack kicked his feet up onto the desk, then fidgeted with a notebook.

“Actually going to take notes today?” I joked.

“Probably,” He scoffed, copying the words the teacher had already written on the whiteboard.

I cocked my head at him, trying to analyze him. I bit my lip, a bit angry with myself for not knowing him better than I did. I opened my favorite notebook to write, ”Are you okay, Jack?” I shoved the book over to him gently.

He raised an eyebrow at me, but wrote back anyway.

There’s a lot going on. It’s not a big deal.

His handwriting was messy and contrasted against my almost girly-looking writing; I quickly jotted that I wanted to know anyway.

Grades slipping, mom’s mad at me. Got punched in the eye, that was fun.

Is it because you stood up for me?

More or less.

I looked over at him with sad eyes. The bruise had darkened more than earlier, it kind of killed me. I fought the urge to lean over to hug him and whisper that I was sorry, seeing as our teacher liked to walk out into the walkways. I smiled sadly at him, and he did the same.

We didn’t speak nor write the rest of the class, both finally paying a bit of attention. Just as the bell rang, papers were tossed onto our desks. Fuck, I thought. This homework was going to take me at least an hour. Jack scowled at ‘Mr. Clean’ behind his back, then dragged his feet as he drifted out of the room, not saying goodbye to me. I watched him for a minute, hurt. He’d at least come downstairs with me every day.

I slunk down the stairs without saying hi as someone waved at me, taking my normal spot for the first half of my free hour on my favorite chair in the library. I sat restlessly for a few minutes, then got up to leave, not bringing my bag with me. I made my way down the hallway I played in, stopping at the choir room this time. I pushed the door open, having to exert quite a bit of force to do so. My prediction was correct – a grand piano sat proudly near the front of the room. I sat quietly on the seat in front of it, cracked my fingers, and then slowly pressed one of the keys.

Damn, was it loud. I instantly retracted my hand. I looked around to see if I would get yelled at for a few moments, then decided that this entire hallway was probably deserted the end of the hour. I hadn’t ever found anyone wandering the hall as I did. I took in a deep breath, then played a chord. Maybe it wasn’t as noisy as I thought it was. I began playing – I wasn’t any good at the piano, but I did anyway. I sang quietly at first, still a little afraid of getting heard. But soon I was into the music, and I belted out a note.

“Don’t make my ears bleed, Gaskarth.”

I practically leapt off of the seat, then turned to face Jack as he stood behind me.

“How long were you standing there?”

“I hid out in this room before you even came in,” He sighed, sitting half of his ass on the seat next to me, giving us a bit of space.

“Oh… Sorry.” I blushed. “Was I that bad?”

Jack grinned widely at me. “I was just saying you were being really loud. I actually think you’re really good, or else I would’ve kept hiding back in there like a creeper.”

I bit my lip and blushed even more, looking away from him. Jack wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and I looked over at him, curious.

“I’m jealous of you, to be honest.” He continued to smile at me, then the color drained from his face and he let go of me. “I-I’m sorry.”

Put that arm back around me, dammit, I thought, but sat stiffly in my same spot. “It’s fine.”

He looked down to his hands that were now folded in his lap, fidgeting slightly. I watched him in silence, trying hard not to –

Ah, screw it. I shuffled over to Jack to wrap both of my arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. He sighed loudly, then brought his up to hug me back. My heart beat quickly, and I hoped he couldn’t feel it; scared it would blow my cover. He held onto me, sniffling slightly. I pulled away from him to look him in the eye.

“I’m not sorry,” I grinned.

“It’s fine,” Jack smirked. He looked over at the clock on the wall, then stood up, offering to help me up. I took his hand, smiling gratefully. We only had about a minute until lunch started, we might as well go. I shoved my hands into my pockets as soon as I opened the door, then he did the same. We walked quietly next to each other, not even exchanging glances. I smiled softly as his arm grazed mine, we were walking extremely close to each other.

“Jack,” I said softly as the bell rang and we neared the café. He looked over at me finally, a small, bright smile spreading across his face. “You want me to help you out with that assignment in Econ tonight? We could hang out.”

“Yes, please,” He chuckled. “It would mean a lot.”

We stood awkwardly in the lunch line as Jack actually plucked a sub from the array of ‘food’ objects, smiling dumbly at each other. I snapped back into focus and paid, my friend trailing behind me as I approached our normal table.