The Quintessence of Macy Jensen

I dreaded the day I would have to face the consequences of the things that I had done, the words I used to hurt Macy Jensen. True, at the moment I was annoyed, irritated, and any other word I could use to explain my actions; but behind all the crumbling excuses and façade, the bitter trueness to the whole thing was that I cared about Macy. Maybe I didn’t want to, maybe I tried to suppress my feelings by deterring her from me, but I had learned the hard way that Macy Jensen wasn’t just ugly Christmas sweaters and knock-off boots, she was much-much more than that. Macy was a force of innocence which made her so negligible, she was an echo of suppressed sunshine that hid it’s true form and faded away behind the other forces.

And I, being a bullied force, was the one who over-shined her, even when she could have been far more favorited than I. But she chose not to, and that’s what makes everything more complex. Why did Macy hide, why did she feel the world was against her? Because, despite my hidden words, Macy was a much better person than me-much better than most people I’ve ever met.

So it hurt, as I watched her face break and tears cloud in the back of her ocean eyes, at the sight of me, seemingly in control of my emotions while she was clearly not. And at that moment I realized what that emotion playing on her face was. It was the same look my mother had whenever my father left for a night of drinking, those months I’d left Fay McGovern to deal with our baby without any help, or love. It was heartbreak, and I think as I realized that she was heartbroken, my heart broke in degree. I yearned to run to her, to tell her I was sorry and-at the end of the day-couldn’t live without her angelic face and sweet demeanor.

I couldn’t let another day go by without her by my side, and then I knew that, one way or the other, I had to declare my absolute love for a girl nobody thought twice about. And I doubt they’d even know how to react once they found out that Brett Marston was head-over-heels in love with Macy Jensen, the freak who’d rather outsmart everybody then have a social life.

But to me that freak was anything but; or maybe she was my freak, the girl who balanced me out, who complemented me. As she was about to make her exit with her eyes trying to leave my own, I knew I had to act. I dropped Amelia into my mothers unexpecting arms and scowled face, then made a break for Macy’s retreating form. This was it, It thought, if I didn’t catch her now and make her listen to me, I doubt she’d talk to me otherwise. So I ran towards her, not a jog or fast walk, full on run, towards the woman I loved. I called out her name between pants and watched as she turned, her hair sprawling against her clothed shoulders and her eyes widening at the sight of who had called her name out so beggingly.

Her mother, who stood a few feet in front of her with her arms filled with bags, also turned and watched the spectacle in front of her with...what?

A ghost of a smirk.

Once I reached Macy-glad she stayed put-I pulled her tightly into my chest and placed my lips on her virgin ones. Well not completely virgin, but very virgin-like compared to my smutty-ones. It felt as if my breath was punched from my lungs and all I held onto to keep me alive was the girl completely held in my arms, her embrace warming my core like a familiar fire. We pulled away and I watched as tears fell gracefully down her cheeks. I dabbed them away with my forefinger and pressed my forehead against hers.

I was surprised when she let her hands wander to my own, where she then interlaced our fingers. The one small gesture felt like the biggest form of acceptance to me, and I truly believed that me and Macy could fix this-we would.

“Macy, I love you.” Those were the first words that left my lips and they felt like the most important words to say; the first statement that had to be uttered. “Brett, I love you too…” I could sense a ‘but’ coming up as she brought my eyes to hers. “…but why?” I kissed her temple; I knew what “why” meant, and somewhere in the fold of my heart I didn’t want to expose my entirety to her.

But I knew I had to at the same time-to make things right. “Macy, I guess I just tried to deny my feelings for you.” I silenced her interruption by a kiss to the lips. “But I know I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t-and now I don’t-care about what anybody thinks. I love you Macy, I think I really always have.” And that was true, what I said, because somewhere I got the inkling that all along I loved Macy; even in my cocky, ‘I’m-the-best-since-sliced-bread’ stage.

And she was meant to set me straight, to guide me in the right way so I could live a peaceful life. With her by my side. She shuddered in my grasp and before a damning thought could cross my buzzing mind, she kissed me and said something I don’t think I could ever forgot, not even if my mind was forcefully erased. It was something so simple, but to hear her say it to me, it was the most powerful thing I’d ever heard.

“I want to be with you, for as long as infinity.”