Mirrors

Billie and I were walking back to my dorm with ice cream from the dining hall when I felt my phone vibrate from my back pocket. "Hey, hold this real quick," I said hurriedly to Billie, who let go of his spoon, which was still in his mouth, and took my bowl as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I didn't recognize the number, so I felt even more obliged to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Arabella, is that you?"

I stopped dead, and Billie tripped over the raised sidewalk as he stopped abruptly. "Tane?"

"How sweet, you remember me!"

"How did you get my number?" I demanded, my voice slightly raised.

"I have my ways; surely, you must remember those, too," Tane said.

"You don't get to fucking say another word about that, okay?" I spat.

"Oh, Arabella, calm down, I just wanted to say hello after all this time. How have you been? What are you up to these days?" Tane asked. I didn't reply. "Oh, come on, Arabella, could I at least get an answer from you?"

"Can I hang up after I give them to you?" I asked nastily.

"Oh, alright. So how have you been? What are you up to these days?" Tane repeated.

"I've been shitty, Tane. You seriously scarred me after all you put me through, on top of what I was going through at the time. You not letting me go was the worst thing that could've happened to me after all that I had just finished dealing with. And I built some pretty fucking tall walls around myself for the next couple years. As for now, I'm in my sophomore year of college, studying interdisciplinary arts, my little sister is in jail for prostitution, and I've actually found someone who can deal with my baggage as well as I can deal with his." There was silence from Tane's end and I smiled smugly.

"Well," Tane said curtly. "You've found someone else, you said?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Well," Tane repeated. "That's great."

I could tell that he didn't mean it, but I just said "Thank you" and didn't even bother to hear what other bullshit he wanted to spew at me as I hung up. I stood where I was for another moment more as I returned my phone to my back pocket, ignoring it when it vibrated again.

I looked over at Billie and noticed his spoon was still in his mouth. I smiled and pulled it out, leaning in and giving him a small kiss. He smiled when I pulled away and handed me back my half-melted bowl of ice cream in a wordless question. I took it back and ate what wasn't already soup; when we were by the door to my apartment building, I slurped back what had turned to soup and threw the bowl in the trash. Billie chuckled and kissed away the small mustache the melted ice cream had left behind and then kissed me before opening the door. I smiled at him and ran up the stairs to grab my computer and English notebook to bring back to Billie's. I was going to spend my first night at Billie's apartment tonight.

I came back outside and smiled at Billie right before I gave him another small kiss. He smiled back at me and held out his hand for me to take. "Ready, Belle?" he asked brightly.

I smiled at him again and took his hand. "Ready, Billie," I replied, and we walked back across campus to Billie's dorm, hand in hand. For the first time in what felt like many, many years, I actually felt happy.



I had partially figured out which personalities Billie was on certain days. Really, the only thing I had figured out was that Billie was Billie every other day. Whether he was Twitch or Fink on the other days, I hadn't quite figured out the pattern yet. And, strangely, I was starting to want to figure out the pattern. It was almost as if I was actually letting myself get attached to someone. I physically stopped moving when the realization hit me, and my hand was ripped from Billie's as he continued to walk.

"Belle?" Billie asked, turning around and walking back to where I stopped, frozen. He waved his hand in front of my face. "Arabella."

I shook my head to clear away the remains of my stupor and looked at Billie briefly before looking at the ground, both of our feet clad in black Converse hi-tops. "Sorry," I muttered, looking back up at Billie and trying to give him a convincing smile. I pushed past him and sped toward his dorm, opening the door on a budding party in the miniature living room. All the guys huddled on the couches and against the walls stared at me as I shoved through them all and into Billie's room.

"Who was that?" I heard one of them ask.

"I'm guessing that's Bill's girl," I heard another guy answer.

"It's Billie. And leave her alone," I heard Billie say as I reached his bedroom door. He was smart and he locked his bedroom door whenever he left his house, so I just turned the doorknob futilely and waited for Billie to come and unlock it. He did a few moments later, and I just tried not to cry or anything else until we got inside.

When Billie ushered me in and shut and locked his door behind him, he turned to me and raised an eyebrow. I just looked at the floor and took a deep breath, letting the realization really set in, so I could actually try to figure out whether to accept or reject the realization. "Belle, sweetheart, are you okay? Why did you just stop walking ten feet outside my house?"

I took another deep breath, and it was a few seconds before I looked up at Billie. I sighed right before I spoke, and then finally said, quietly, "Billie, that was my ex-boyfriend that called me this evening when we were leaving dinner."

He nodded. "Okay." I could tell he didn't quite understand the magnitude of the situation.

"Billie, that was the ex-boyfriend I told you about," I said.

I saw the realization dawn on his face. "Oh! The night that I asked you to be my girlfriend," Billie added.

I nodded. "Billie, he's found me."

Billie looked at me questionably. "He only has your phone number."

"Billie, you have no idea what kind of things he is capable of. He will find me."

Billie placed his hands on my shoulders. "Arabella, I promise you I will not let this crazy asshole or any other crazy assholes hurt you, okay?" I smiled weakly and Billie leaned in to kiss me sweetly.

I kissed him back, and then he kissed me a little fiercer. I smiled against his lips and pushed him back against the metal frame of his bed. "Can you protect yourself, though?" I asked sultrily.

Billie just bit his bottom lip seductively and went to lean in for a kiss, but instead just took my bottom lip between his teeth.