Call Me Hopeless, But Not Romantic.

"Yo." I said not bothering to knock as I walked in to Lee's house.

"Oh yeh were able ta get away from yeh bird?" He joked an I rolled my eyes, "Lee, let meh ask yeh somefin mate. When's tha last time yeh got laid?"

He didn't say anything and I laughed, "exactly. Now shut up."

Jona laughed from beside him and I sighed, "idiot."

"Gonna smoke wif us?" Matt asked and I looked over at him realizing I hadn't smoked in forever and I use to do it all the time. That girl changed more than I was aware.

"Or does yeh bird not approve?"

I rolled my eyes, "actuallah we've neva discussed it."

"Oh so yeh can still do it as of now?"

"Sod off." I mumbled as Matt lit the joint he had retrieved from his pocket.

"Oye! Wait on a lad!" Oli said busting into the front door.

"Um, shouldn't yeh not be doin' this?" I asked.

"Yes, we discussed it and I have until the baby arrives"

"Generous of her." I joked.

"Laugh now mate, but when Macy finds out yeh smoke yeh gonna be in tha same boat minus tha baby." He said seriously.

"I honestly don't fink she'll care."

"Reallah? Give her a call and find out." Oli said chuckling and I rolled my eyes as I pulled my phone from my pocket.

"Fine. I will."

"Guess it reallah doesn't matta now?" Lee said as Matt handed me the joint.

"Nah, but I'm tellin' yeh my bird is brill." I said sticking it in my mouth as the phone began to ring.

"hello?"

"Hey baby. First off, yeh didn't text meh and let meh know yeh got home alive, but regardless of that, how do yeh feel bout meh smokin'?"

"Smoking what exactly?"

"Not cigarettes?" I asked and Oli laughed from beside me.

"I mean, I don't care as long as you don't do it around me."

"Fanks my love. Alright, well, I'll talk ta yeh lata."

She laughed, "you're ridiculous. Ok, bye."

"Bye darlin'."

I hung up with a smirk, "she said she didn't care as long as I didn't do it around her. See, I fink I have tha brillest bird eva."

"I fink so." Jona said shrugging looking at Oli who sighed, "Whateva."

I laughed along with Matt as Oli sat in the floor.

"Complete bullshit." He mumbled and I laughed, "yeah she's prettah much tha closest fing ta perfect."

"That's how yeh know tha bloke is in love." Jona said laughing.

I shrugged, "maybeh I am mate."

After what seemed like a short amount time I found myself laying on the floor next to Oli laughing about things not really that funny.

Jona of course didnlt smoke, so he became our parent on days like this.

"Mate yeh phone has been vibratin' for like ten minutes." He said kicking my leg.

I shrugged, "so?"

"Could be yeh bird."

"My bird. Oh yeah. I have one. that's funnah isn't it?"

Oli laughed, "definitely is."

"She's propa fit."

Lee chuckled, "she is prettah fit."

"I know."

"Dude. Juss fink. Soon, there will be a bloody baby here. Well, not smokin' wif us but yeh know what I mean." I stated and Oli laughed, "propa scary is what it is."

"Sucks for yeh." Lee said patting Oli's head causing me to laugh.

In the middle of our time I ended up falling asleep on Lee's couch and when I woke up it was to the sun shining in through the window. I groaned and covered my face with the couch pillow. I slowly felt around for my phone and removed my face to look at it. I had several missed calls and text from Macy and a few from Tom and when I got to Tom's text I knew I was in some shit.

'You are a fucking idiot. Hope you're having fun getting stoned. Your girlfriend doesn't need you or anything...'

I sighed and sat up as I dialed his number. Better to call him first before I call her and she yells at me.

"Yes?"

"Dude, what happened?"

"Oh I don't know her parents got into it and kicked her out so now she's here because yeh arse was too busy."

I groaned bringing my hand to my head.

"Fuck."

"Yeah. So get yeh self cleaned up and get ova here."

I hung up with him and shoved my phone in my pocket.

I quickly got up and put my shoes on. No telling what I was in for. I went home showered and headed straight to Tom's the worst going through my head.

I knocked lightly on the door and Katie opened it with her sweet smile, "Hey Matty."

"Hi." I mumbled and she let me in.

"I'm like tha worst boyfriend in the history of tha world."

She laughed, "you are not. She'll forgive you. She loves you too much to not."

"I hope so."

She lead me to a bedroom and patted my back before walking off. I sighed and opened the door quickly.

Macy was sitting on the bed fiddling with her phone. Her eyes hit mine once I closed the door behind me.

Nothing was said and I could feel the tension in the air.

"Baby. I swear to yeh I did not mean for lass night ta happen like that. I am so sorrah." I said sincerely as I slowly walked over and sat on the bed.

"Whatever."

Just from that simple word I knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"Ok. I deserve that, but I truly am sorrah. I feel like tha shittest boyfriend eva." I said reaching for her hand which she pulled back quickly.

I groaned, "come on Mac. What can I do to make it betta? I screwed up. I know this and I'm bloody sorrah."

"Nothing. It's whatever." She said getting off the bed.

"It's clearly more than whateva if yeh won't talk ta meh. Tell meh what happened last night."

"Nothing...just got kicked out of my house. Pretty much sums it up."

I groaned, "Macy! For fuck sakes I'm sorrah! Yeh had Tom it's not like yeh couldn't get a hold of anyone! I said I'm sorrah and I honestly am and I wish I could have been there for yeh, but I can't change it now."

"I know you can't. That is why I said whatever. It doesn't matter now." She said too calmly for my liking.

"Why don't yeh cut tha shit and juss say what yeh truly want to." I said crossing my arms and she sighed as she began to fold a shirt she picked up from the dresser.

"This is what it's going to be like you know..."

"What, what is going to be like?" I asked.

"Our relationship when I go to California. We won't be able to be there for each other."

I sighed and ran my hand down my face, "Baby, let meh tell yeh somefin, if yeh were here it'd be tha same. I tour half tha year."

She nodded and I watched her as my heart now beat roughly against my chest simply because I didn't know the words that were going to leave her mouth.

"Yeah, well, maybe we should just break up when I leave." She said softly and I swear I stopped breathing.

"If that's what yeh want..." I managed to get out and her eyes hit mine, "apparently that's what you want."

"What?" I asked a bit confused.

"High Oli is chatty Oli." She said placing the shirt back onto the dresser.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, "so?"

"He said you were thinking about just breaking up with me before I left."

"That's bullshit and yeh know it."

"Why would Oli lie?"

"That was not how the conversation went. Maybe he gathered that from it, but that was not what I was sayin'."

She crossed her arms and I sighed, "Macy, I love yeh. Yeh honestly are tha best fing that's happened ta meh in a very long time. I would not break up wif yeh unless it was what yeh wanted cause I personally don't want ta be wifout yeh."

"Then what did you mean?"

"It was juss bein' there, hearin' yeh parents talk. I mean, yeah I said that yeh were probably gonna go ta California and yeh were gonna end up findin' someone else, but I neva said I was gonna break up wif yeh."

"That's not going to happen."

"Ok. Well, that's what yeh fink and I know what I fink so..." i said shrugging.

"You're confusing me. So, you want to be with me, but you are convinced already that I'll find someone else?"

"Yes." I answered honestly.

"Then why be with me?!"

"Because I bloody love yeh Macy. I love yeh and I wanna keep yeh as long as I can."

"I love how you clearly don't think I love you as much."

"Don't put words in meh mouth Macy. I said no such fing. I know yeh love meh."

"But not enough apparently."

I sighed, "Look, forget I said anyfing."

"Afraid I can't."

"Ugh! Yeh drive meh mental! I love yeh. Whetha yeh wanna be wif meh or not is up ta yeh. Juss say it Macy and we'll be ova."

"Maybe it's for the best."

"What?"

"It's for the best. Us breaking up."

"Wait. What?" I asked again becase I didn't want to hear what she was saying.

"Matty..."

"This is bullshit."

"It is not."

"Look me in the eyes and tell meh yeh mean that. That it is truly what yeh want and I'll leave." I said stepping to her.

She bit her lip and I brought my hands to her cheek, "I love yeh and I want yeh. Only yeh."

"But Matt, I'll be there and you'll be touring and so what? We see each other maybe, if we're lucky, once a month?"

I sighed, " that's betta than bein wifout yeh."

"It's not Matty. It just makes it worse."

"So what? You want to move there, forget bout meh?"

"No. I couldn't do that." She whispered.

I sighed and dropped my hands from her, "yeh know, maybeh that's whats best. Yeh go there, forget bout meh. Date some yank to please yeh mum and hey, live there, and have a happily eva afta!"

"Matty..."

"No. Here is tha difference between meh and yeh Macy. I am 22 years old. I know what I want, I know what I'm doin' and yeh have nuffin figured out. I love yeh and I know more than anyfing I want ta be wif yeh and as much as I do, yeh clearly don't feel that way."

"You don't know what I want."

"Yeh right Macy! I fuckin' don't! Please for tha love of God tell meh!" I said loudly.

She said nothing as she crossed her arms and I sighed running my hand down my face.

"Fine. Macy, honesty, I'm done. I should've known betta than this anyways. What kid falls in love?" I asked with a stifled laugh.

A hurt expression hit her face, "I love you this is why I'm doing this."

"No. Yeh doin' this for yehself. So yeh don't get hurt."

"And so you don't get hurt!"

"Macy! I don't bloody care! I'm willin' ta risk that for yeh!"

Before she could speak Tom opened the door a concerned look hitting his face.

I breathed in deeply before speaking, "Macy, I hope yeh have a wonderful life in California. Goodbye." I said quickly walking past Tom and out of the room.

I felt my chest tightening as I flew through the apartment. Katie followed behind me as I reached the cold air from outside.

She didn't say anything just watched me pace the small walk way trying to control my anger and sadness.

"Me and Tom went through this...sort of..." she finally said.

"Not the same at all. She's serious bout it." I mumbled.

She sighed, "she's just trying to do what is best."

"How is it the best when it's hurtin' us?!"

"It'll hurt more if you drug it out."

"Drug what out?! Why is it impossible for us ta be togetha?"

She sighed, "just give her some time."

I shook my head, "it's whateva. If this is what she wants well, I mean, I have no choice..."

She grabbed my arm trying to comfort me and I sighed, "Fanks Katie, but I'm gonna go home. I juss, need some time alone."

She nodded sympathetically and I went to my car with the worst feeling I've ever had; heart break.