Coffee Break

[Zack]

I felt really bad for Martin, truly. I mean, it was one thing for me to be late coming in for lunch, but to interrupt his own lunch break like that? I felt awful. I was only late to lunch because me, my dad and my brother had to go to a wholesalers to pick up some equipment we’d ordered, and it needed all three of us to lift the multiple boxes. That’s the problem with owning and working in an Electronics Store – the merchandise is always heavy. I knew my dad and my brother Sam were watching Martin curiously while he made our coffees, probably wondering why he was running around after me, but it’s not like I asked him to, is it? The thought of him caring like that is quite nice though.

“So…that was interesting,” Dad mused, once Martin had sat down again.

I ignored him. I’d prefer not to spur my dad’s teasing right here in public, thank you very much. My brother Sam didn’t say anything, luckily, so the three of us waited in silence, Sam only moving once to add a shit load of sugar to his coffee. He’s strange like that. I winced as all the people at Martin’s table burst into laughter, seeing out the corner of my eye that Martin wasn’t joining in with the laughter. I hope he isn’t getting teased because of me. That’s a horrible thought.

“Order up!”

I smiled as a girl behind the counter passed our food to us, my dad taking the bags. I couldn’t help but look over at Martin as we walked towards the door, smiling and nodding as our eyes linked. Fuck, he has nice eyes. Dad and Sam stayed silent on our walk back to our Electronics Store, which worried me slightly. They’re never silent. Not unless they’re planning something. Which, in itself, is never good either.

“Fuck, that kid really is obsessed with you,” Dad snickered as soon as the door of the shop closed.

“Dad!” I whined.

“What? Which kid? Who?” Sam frowned.

I just sighed, shaking my head.

“The kid that served our coffees. Martin,” Dad teased.

“Since when have you known a Martin?” Sam asked me.

“Since we opened up the shop a year ago,” I grumbled, “And he only gives me our coffee and food everyday, nothing more,”

It’s better just to give in and tell the truth, especially when dad’s on one of his teasing tirades and when Sam’s going into overprotective interrogation.

“Bullshit it’s nothing more. Why did I not know about him?” Sam demanded.

“It really is nothing more. Dad wouldn’t known about him if he hadn’t have come along with me one time and saw Martin blushing when I smiled at him,” I grumbled.

“You didn’t tell me either?” Sam accused Dad.

“It was too much fun teasing him in private,” Dad shrugged.

Real mature dad.

“It’s not a big deal, so let’s just forget about it yeah?” I said firmly.

Naturally, they both ignored me.

“It is a big deal. Why do you think half the people that work in the shops on this street stare at Zack wherever he goes? Because of Martin. Why do you think he gets our coffees and lunch so quick during peak times? Because of Martin. And why do you think Zack’s always smiling when he gets back here?”

“Because of Martin?” Sam guessed.

“Bingo!” Dad grinned.

Fuck, my dad’s so embarrassing!

“You really like this kid, huh?” Sam smirked at me.

“You bet he does. And Martin likes him too – how else do you think we got served so quickly today? That kid practically ran from his own lunch break to make sure Zack’s order was done! That’s commitment,” Dad snickered.

“Please, guys, just quit it! Martin’s a sweet guy, yeah, but I’ve never spoken to him outside the coffee shop and he’s never spoken to me outside it either. It’s not like that,” I groaned.

“But it could be if you tried,” Dad chimed.

Leave it alone, Dad!

“I’m not going to give it a try,” I said firmly.

“But why couldn’t you give it a try? Why couldn’t you try for something more with him? It’s clear you like him, even just a little. Why couldn’t you go for a new relationship?” Sam mused.

My mind travelled back to the day I graduated college, the last time I was in a relationship, and my blood ran cold. No. No I can’t. I whimpered and rapidly shook my head.

“I can’t. I can’t. Not after last time. I can’t!” I whimpered.

Their teasing grins immediately vanished, replaced by looks of concern. Sam wrapped his arms around me, letting me bury my face in the crook of his neck. Most brothers aren’t as close as we are, but it’s times like this that I’m grateful for.

“Hey, Zack, it’s okay,” my dad soothed.

“Nothing bad is going to happen here, okay?” Sam insisted, rubbing my back.

“But…”

“No, we moved out here for a reason. We’re not going to let that all happen again, alright?” Dad interrupted.

I lifted my head from Sam’s neck and nodded weakly. Sam patted my back before letting me go.

“How about you go in the back room and start working on those camera repairs, yeah? We’ll call you if anyone comes in that needs your help,” Sam told me.

I nodded, picking up my coffee and food from the side before walking into the back room. Breakdowns like that are getting rarer and rarer now, but my dad and brother fixed up the backroom with fairy lights, a comfy sofa, dozens of cushions and blankets and a heap of junk food (even though I don’t eat junk food) just for times like this.

I hate being the way I am. I hate snapping into this scared pathetic form without being able to stop, but I can’t help it. Unless I can find some way to get over what happened back in Baltimore, I’m never going to change. And that’s what worries me the most.

And that’s why I can’t have anything to do with Martin.