I Guess I'll Go Home Now

Stacy’s point of view

I could feel my lips shaking and eyes filling with tears. I trusted him, I loved him. So all that time while we were getting ready for the shows or doing photo shoots he was a whore? I couldn’t believe it. He was cheating on me with her? I hate him. Now it’s over, I don’t want to be with him anymore…But I know it’ll take me a while to be over him.

Blake looked at me, his eyes are full of regret and guilt. Wendy shuffled uncomfortably beside me; she was sorry she took me here.

“Stacy, I--”

“Let’s go Wendy” I stated emotionlessly though my insides were burning with anger and sadness. I turned on my heels and walked quickly and confident out of the room. As soon as I was out, tears started to show up and ruin my make-up. I started to make my way back to the band room, Wendy was hurrying behind me.

“Stacy?” She called carefully.

“What?” I responded simply.

“I’m sorry.”

I stopped and turned to face her. “Don’t say that; I had to know what was going on behind my back. Thanks.”

She forced a smile, I smiled back and kept going to the band room.

I entered the room and everyone’s face expressions frowned. I forgot tears were all over my face now. Dammit.

“Stacy, wait!” I heard the voice behind my back. Blake went after me, how nice of him.

“Get lost.”

“I didn’t mean to, it’s all Helena!” He threw his hands in the air.

“What? He told let’s have fun!” Helena yelled behind him.

“That’s what I thought.” I stated and went further in to the room.

“No!” Blake shouted as he walked after me, touching my shoulder and turning me to him.

I threw his hand off me in disgust. “Back off” I said. I wasn’t screaming like crazy, I was just simply breaking up with him. I’m not a drama queen.

He glanced at me, “You don’t mean this, you’re not alright now --”

“What?” my fists clenched I could feel my cheeks burn. Was he saying I’m crazy and not knowing what I’m doing?!

He got he did a wrong move and took a step closer to me to fix it, “No…no, no, I was saying --”

“I know what you meant. You don’t need a crazy girlfriend like me, now go and have sex with that bitch!” I raised my voice.

“Hey!” Helena yelled from the entrance.

“Shut the fuck up bitch!” I yelled at her.

“Forgive me, Stacy, honey. Come on, cool off, angry girl…” Blake took another step towards me.

“Fuck off!” I shouted and pushed him; it was unexpected for him so he almost fell.

“Hey, hey, hey, guys!” Alex got up from the sofa. I froze. They were watching our fight. My band girls were watching all that too. Oh…

Alex’s word didn’t make sense to me. Without thinking I rushed to Blake to beat him. Yeah, this is how angry I was.

Several things happened at the same time. Jack flashed behind me and grabbed my waist. Alex stood in front of Blake, who wanted to punch me too. Helena ran to me to hit me but Zack stopped her. Mandy seemed to kick Helena for the thought of running to me, so Rian stood beside her, just in case.

And right during this messy awkward moment, Bill steps into the room.

“Girls, you have half an hour le--” he stopped and looked at the scene. “Whoah, whoah, whoah, chill! What’s going on? Are you a band or what?”

“I’m breaking up with Blake” I stated loudly.

“She’s just a little bit mad at me” Blake shouted.

“Fuck you!” I yelled at him. That was it. He got me really mad.

I tore Jack’s arms from my waist and stormed to the dressing room, slamming the door shut behind me. I stopped at the doorway, falling to my knees slowly, my back sliding the cold and smooth door.

As I sat there I could hear steps in the band room, worried whispers. They’re going to think I’m crazy.

The show was going to start at six. I looked at the clock on the wall but saw nothing as tears blurred my vision.

I could hear girls went to the basement to grab guitars. Mandy probably went on stage to make sure the drums are okay. I was the one who did nothing. I stood up straightening my top as the door slowly opened and hit my back.

“Ouch”

“Whoops, I’m sorry” Jack Barakat from All Time Low said. I flinched as I heard his voice. I didn’t want to turn around to face him; my make-up was ruined and my face was a little red after sobbing.

“Are you okay?” He asked carefully behind me. Stupid question. I just broke up with my boyfriend, how can I be okay? I turned on my heels to face him, his face frowned as he saw me.

“How do you think?” I crossed my arms.

“Well…” He looked down. “I came here to tell you the show is starting in 10 minutes.”

“Huh, okay then.” I said in a duh tone ad looked around; I still needed hairspray. Plus, my make-up was awful right now.

“So, I’m leaving you to prepare” He said awkwardly and walked out of the dressing room still looking down. I felt bad for talking to him in such a rude tone. Now as I was single I could like Jack.

I headed to the bathroom, fixed my make-up and made it simple this time – I know I would get sweaty on stage and what if Blake or Helena show up with some shit again and cause me to cry? I opened Mandy’s suitcase and found a new can of hairspray. Bingo. I fixed my brown with white highlights hair and went to the hall.

Girls were standing there, Mandy got her drumsticks, Chelsea was putting on her Fender base and Jess cleaned her guitar. They all stared at me carefully as I appeared in the hall. Jake walked out of the basement giving me my Squire Rhythm guitar and a new shiny pick. I smiled thankfully at him and pulled on the guitar, my shoulder was missing the feeling of a guitar belt pushing against it. I could hear a small group of our fans yelling something like “JK! JK!” in the hall. I smiled and looked at Bill. He winked at me and nodded – it was time to go stage. I missed you, my guitar, my microphone, yelling crowd and a feeling of happiness going through my veins as the sounds of our instruments blast out of the huge speakers.

We fisted each other I took a deep breath and ran on stage, holding my guitar and waving to the crowd. The people screamed like crazy. How did we get so many fans? I thought we were shitty. I smiled to my thoughts as I crossed the big stage and approached the microphone.

“Hey there!” I yelled. “We are Just Kidding.” I know how it sounded.

“We are Just Kidding and we are just kidding.” Jess shouted to her microphone. I saw Jacob running quickly on stage to put guitar picks into the microphone stands and pulling the speaker cables into our guitars.

“For those who don’t know us, I’m Stacy” The crowed screamed. “This is Jess” I said as I pointed to her, “This is Chelsea and that girl over there is Mandy!” I could barely hear myself through the fan cheers. I placed my finger on my lips – a sign to shut up. The audience went silent.

“I’ve got to tell ya something” I started. “Tonight we’re not going to play our songs, but we gonna do covers!” I said as I threw my hands up in the air.

People were yelling something to me and I got what they were asking. “What covers? All Time Low!” I said and looked up to the special guest lounge which was upstairs. All Time Low boys were sitting there and grinning at me. Then I felt another pair of eyes on me. Blake. He was sitting there, upstairs, 5 seats away from ATL and glaring at me. I felt uncomfortable and quickly looked away from there.

“And you guys know what? All Time Low came here tonight to watch our show!” I cheered and pointed to the upper lounger where they sat without looking. I didn’t want to see Blake.

Now it was time to play. As I was a rhythm guitarist I was the one who starts and leads the song. The sound of this guitar never stops in the song and you can barely hear it. But there would be no song without it. That was the secret. I haven’t got it yet, though I played it for 6 years already.

I started to play Break Your Little Heart and received a couple of WTF looks from Jess, Chels and Mandy; we were supposed to play Walls first. Although girls just started to play this one without complaining. The song was for Blake. I glared at him when I sang “When I break your little heart in two” and “This love was accidental”. I could also see Wendy standing in the hall doorway grinning at me. Helena was walking like a ghost in the back of the hall.

The next song was Do You Want Me (Dead)?. Once again I glared at Blake as I sang “I’m getting sick of your bullshit attitude”. I smiled at myself, pleased. Maybe this night is going to be nice after all what happened? As I thought of that, I started to play Weightless throwing my guitar pick to the crowd and getting another one from the microphone stand.