Our Guide.

I had a feeling ever since I met Sam it would change my whole world, for lack of better words. This whole ‘discovering-I-have-some-kind-of-feelings-for-my-friend’ thing is just the icing on top of the cake. The moment Sam started to worm his way into my life is when the real change began to happen. Suddenly there was someone who cared how I was feeling on a certain day. Someone who would stand up to people who shoved me even the slightest bit, someone who would try to talk to me no matter what mood I was in. Someone who tried to include me in normal teenage activities. Someone who makes me smile despite me not wanting too. Someone to be my friend.

And unfortunately for me, that’s all me and Sam will ever be. Sam may not be the popular jock or overly handsome like some of the football players or basketball players or soccer players or just the guys in general at our school, or in that clique but he still has the charisma and humor and personality that could have him end up with a pretty blond or brunette or hell even another redhead, like that Brooke girl who I’ve seen talking to him. Besides, I have no evidence he’s even into guys, and Evan even asked him about the person he has a crush on! If that’s not waving a neon sign that basically says ‘Zeke has no chance’ then I don’t know what is.

Unless he just flat out tells me and let’s face it, I don’t have the highest confidence in myself to handle something like that. So it’s just best to keep this to myself and let it pass. And besides, even if there was the slight possibility that I might have chance with Sam, who’s to say that he’ll stick around when I continually refuse to let him at my house or let him meet my mom. And it’s not like my mom will let me go out, so if he wants to go on a date then that’ll mean I have to tell him I can’t and it’ll happen all the time and he’ll end up saying it’s not worth it.

Cause that’s what it pretty much boils down too: I’m not worth it. Not really. In my eyes, there’s nothing about me that’s worth putting up with that. I mean, I wouldn’t be able to go on dates, I wouldn’t be able to do anything even semi-public cause then my mom would find out then she’d probably literally kill me. Meeting the family is not even an option in my case. Just… not worth all that hassle.

Plus I’m skinny as fuck. Yeah I have tan skin but that’s like one positive in a list of nothing but negatives. I have a horrible attitude, I only care about my dog and if she’s happy and safe, I have no money, my home life is pure hell, I have scars - small ones but their there nonetheless - and I can’t drive.

And don’t even get me started on –

“Zeke!”

I jumped where I was sitting on the pavement, petting Boomer, who let out a slight low growl at the sharp tone of whoever said my name. I calmed her down by running my hand down her back slowly, though it did nothing to calm my now racing heart and slightly shaking hands. I looked up with wide eyes and blushed when I realized I must have zoned out while Sam and Evan were talking about… something.

“Sorry to startle you man, but we’ve been trying to get your attention for five minutes now.” Evan chuckled while crouching down next to Boomer so he could pet her as if apologizing for scaring the shit out of me. I blushed even more when Evan said this, because oops, I didn’t even realize what was going on.

“S-sorry,” I mumbled, and distracted myself by acting like I heard something over my shoulder. And oh yeah, I have a fucking stuttering problem. Like how is that even the slightest bit attractive or endearing? Um, it’s not. Nobody wants someone who can’t even speak clear English.

“Nah, it’s okay. It’s just I think Sam has something he’d like to ask us…” Evan trailed off and gave his best friend a poined look I couldn’t read. What was that about? I watched as Sam gave Evan a slight dirty look and a slight… thankful look? Now I’m really confused. And anxious if I’m being honest. I move so I’m sitting crisscross and stared up at Sam, waiting.

Butterflies flared up when Sam met my eyes, and I had to do everything in my power to stop myself from blushing bright red and squirming. I bit my lip instead and that seemed to edge him on. What I wasn’t expecting was him to ask if both me and Evan wanted to come hang out this weekend – as in the whole weekend. As in, me staying the night.

My palms instantly started sweating and dread began to slowly fill my stomach up to the point where I felt almost sick. This is it. This is where he finds out that I’d be a useless boyfriend or friend for that matter because, fuck I can’t. I can’t go over. My mom wouldn’t let me. She’d laugh in my face when I told I wanted to go stay the night at a friend’s house.

I almost denied his offer when I remembered my mom told me she’d be gone the whole weekend due to some kind of business meeting. Which means… I can go over! I can stay with Sam and Evan at Sam’s house.

And oh. Shit.

I’d be staying the whole weekend at Sam’s house. With Sam. Where he sleeps and - shit why didn’t that occur to me before? Well, maybe it won’t be too bad. Maybe I can get through the whole weekend without letting on about my stupid crush. I’m… I’m going to try. Yeah, I can do this. Besides, Evan will be there. It won’t be too bad.

“Yeah, sure. Sounds like fun,” I said, a small smile lifting the corner of my lips despite trying my damnest to avoid it. Sam smiled back, and Evan cheered. They shared a look again, but this time I chose to ignore it.

~

“Well I say we watch Lord of the Rings,” Evan declared, as he flopped ungracefully on the couch. He had insisted on me and Sam sitting next to each other, and okay, what the hell. Not that I mind sitting next to him, but in a way I kind of do because hello, major crush and all and being close to him like this is not helping.

Why did I agree to be their friend again?

I sighed and sank lower in the seat, getting comfortable. It was Saturday night, I’ve been here since this morning around ten and it’s been just a normal day. Played video games, pigged out on junk food, though I was kinda nervous to do because my mom has some kind of radar for that kind of thing, and we did I guess other teenage boy stuff.

Boomer, who’s at my feet and has pretty much been glued to me, snorted as if she was laughing at Evan. Said boy gives her a betrayed look and pouts. “But c’mon guys. Don’t you want to see the sexy elf? I mean, he’s gorgeous.”

“You don’t even know his name,” I muttered and brought my knees up to my chest and got even more comfortable. And if I ended up leaning more into Sam’s side, then no one says anything.

“I do too!” Evan says even though he’s already putting the movie back on the shelf. “Fine, what do you want to watch?”

“It doesn’t matter what we watch. I’m probably gonna end up passing out anyway.” I yawned.

“Fine then, we’ll just watch Iron Man.” Evan said and turned back to the collection of DVDs and pulled out a case that looked like it’d been run over quite a few times.

“Good choice. Robert Downey Jr. is like sex on two legs.” I mumbled tiredly. I heard a low chuckle near my ear and glanced up, and saw Sam watching me with this expression on his face that my sluggish mind couldn’t comprehend. I cocked my head to the side. “What?”

He grinned and shook his head. “Nothing. You’re just cute when your all tired,”

I grunted and pushed my face into my knees to hide the blush that creeps onto my face with his words. Sam thinks I’m cute? What?

“And cranky, apparently,” Evan snickered. I lifted my head up; aware my face still must be slightly red and glared half-heartedly at my friend.

“Fuck you, I’m not cranky.” I said just slight of snappish. Evan raised an eyebrow in a seriously? look. I rolled my eyes and grumbled and leaned back into the couch. I’m not even cranky!

Evan laughed and settled on the other side of me on the couch, and started the movie.

I got about forty minutes into the minutes before my eyes started drooping and I didn’t even realize how much of my body weight was on Sam. Instead, though, of trying to move and get comfortable while not on top of Sam, my body betrayed me and I slowly drifted off to sleep.

~

I woke up to someone shaking my shoulders slightly and I groaned and mumbled and grumbled my way to consciousness. It was Sam who was shaking me. I stared at him with my eyebrows pinched together in my best what the fuck is wrong with you, why the fuck did you wake me up? look I could muster up. He just grinned at me though and I huffed.

“The movie’s over sleeping beauty,” He said quietly and I looked around for the reason why he would be talking in a whisper and found Evan passed out on his side of the couch. Then Sam’s words caught up with me and oh. I blushed again.

Sleeping beauty. What the actual fuck.

W- was Sam flirting with me?

Shiiitt.

He was. He totally was.

I took in a deep breath and decided, fuck it. What could it hurt?

“Fuck you, my noble prince charming,” I said in my best playful voice I could come up with. It must have done some because his cheeks pinked up some and I smiled. Shit, me and Sam were flirting. Granted it probably wasn’t the best flirting out there but that’s what it was. It… it worked for me and Sam.

“C’mon, I’ll get you something to wear and show you to the guest bedroom.” He put his hand out for me to grab since I was kinda still laying down on the couch and hadn’t really made a move to get up yet. How did he move off the couch without waking me up? I must have been out.

Deciding to be a bit brave, I put my hand in his and ignored the way it sort of tingled and let him pull me to my feet, even though I stumbled a bit when I got on my feet and would have fallen forward if he hadn’t steadied me with a gentle hand on my waist. I huffed a laugh under my breath some and looked down to hide my blush, once again.

“C’mon,” He murmured and with his hand still on my waist, sliding to my lower back, he lead me to one of the spare rooms and was actually across from his bedroom. Hmm.

“Wait. What about Evan?” I asked when I remembered our other friend was still down stairs asleep. Sam shrugged and waved a hand dismissively.

“He knows his way around the house just fine. He’ll find his way to the other spare room,” Sam said and grinned. “Now wait here and I’ll get you some more comfortable clothes to sleep in.”

“These are fine really,” I said gesturing to my wrinkled jeans and wrinkled shirt. They were both pretty much whatever clothes and I didn’t mind sleeping in them. They were pretty much worn out and actually kinda soft.

Sam just gave me a look before walking out of the bedroom and going into his. While Sam was gone, I took the time to look at the room I would be sleeping in. It was a big room, if I’m honest. Almost as if it were once someone’s actual bedroom. The bed itself looked to be a full sized king bed, white silk sheets, white comforter, several fluffy pillows, and a soft looking blue throw blanket on the end of the bed. There were two lights on either side of the head of the bed, easily reachable even for me. There was a chest at the foot of the bed, but it looked to be empty. The walls were a light cream color with some wood finishes around the windows. There was a desk on the left side when you first walk through the door and the bed was in the center, pushed up against the wall.

It looked like there was a balcony behind the light blue curtains and a few chairs and even a little round glass table near the doors of the balcony.

All-in-all, it was a beautiful room and nothing like I have ever had and nothing like I would ever have. My bedroom is like a dump with just a mattress on the ground, thin, grainy blankets, worn out sheets, and ratty used pillows. A dresser thrown in there and a small, cheap desk that wasn’t put together properly.

A wet nose pushed against my hand and I looked down at Boomer, who was looking at me with an expression of apprehension. I sighed. I didn’t know Sam’s parents’ rules on pets so I didn’t know if I should go ahead and take Boomer out or just let her stay in here.

“Here try these. The sweat pants may be a bit big on you but their super comfy and you can either just wear your shirt or I have this one that a bit more loser and comfier. Whichever, it doesn’t matter.” Sam said as he walked in and set the clothes on the bed. I smiled at him and mumbled a quick thanks and he took that as his cue to let me get changed.

Too bad I didn’t notice the door wasn’t shut the whole way and there was a crack big enough to see through.

I sighed and sat down on the bed and nearly moaned at how soft and bouncy and it was like sitting on a cloud - oh my God. I kicked my shoes off not so gracefully then leaned back on the bed and shucked my jeans off and tossed them where my shoes landed, then pulled my shirt off and put it with the rest of my discarded clothes. I picked up the sweats Sam lent me and stared at them for a good few minutes before slipping them on up to my waist. They were pretty loose on me and were already sliding a bit off my hips. The bottoms swallowed my feet whole but I wasn’t about to complain. They were comfy as hell.

I was in the process of slipping the shirt on when a knocked sounded and someone walked in. “Everything work for you?” Sam’s voice echoed in the room and I turned to face him and nodded.

“Yeah, these are really comfy so thanks for letting me wear them. Even though they actually swallow me whole.” Sam shrugged and waved a hand. “Oh and what about Boomer? Do I need to put her out or…?”

Sam shook his head. “Nah its fine. She can stay in here.”

I smiled gratefully at him and we stared at each other for a good two minutes before Sam shook himself out of the trance he was in and turned back to the door. “I’ll see you in the morning, Zeke.”

“Yeah, uh, goodnight Sam.” I said and waited till Sam had shut the door before letting out a sigh and sat on the bed. Boomer looked up at me. “I’m so fucked.” I said to her. She just yipped some and came over and nudged my hand with her nose. I patted her on the head then shifted around until I was under the covers and comfortable.

Not even ten minutes later I was asleep.