I Did It All So Maybe I'd Live This Every Day
Until The End Of Everything
Aiden’s POV
This week has been going so slowly it was only Thursday morning and I still had today and tomorrow for exams before I could go back to the house and check up on Gerard. Today we had English, which was easy if you knew what to write which of course I did. On the way to school I couldn’t help but think about Gerard he had been plaguing my mind for the whole week, if I didn’t know the answers to the papers from years and years of learning them then I think I might have had a little trouble but I didn’t. I was also becoming distracted by all the emotions I was feeling because I didn’t know what they were and Gabriel was no help with that he just said that I would have to figure them out on my own. I had figured out some of my emotion the ones, which were easiest like; frustration, confusion, aggravation and irritation but I couldn’t figure out the rest. They were weird emotions they made me want things or someone, I felt like I was missing something and I wanted it so much it was starting to hurt me and in consequence making me frustrated and irritated and aggravated. I didn’t know what they meant or even what they were they are just there and are making me do weird things.
We made our way to our class for the exam as we were all seated I tried to clear my mind of everything except what I was doing, for once it wasn’t as easy as it should be. I turned first to the poetry as I was better at that than anything else, the poem was ‘The Burial of Love’ by Lord Alfred Tennyson I read it first before answering the questions, the poem was very beautiful
His eyes in eclipse,
Pale-cold his lips,
The light of his hopes unfed,
Mute his tongue,
His bow unstrung
With the tears he hath shed,
Backward drooping his graceful head,
Love is dead:
His last arrow is sped;
He hath not another dart;
Go–carry him to his dark deathbed;
Bury him in the cold, cold heart–
Love is dead.
O truest love! art thou forlorn,
And unrevenged? thy pleasant wiles
Forgotten, and thine innocent joy?
Shall hollow-hearted apathy,
The cruellest form of perfect scorn,
With languor of most hateful smiles,
For ever write,
In the withered light
Of the tearless eye,
And epitaph that all may spy?
No! sooner she herself shall die.
For her the showers shall not fall,
Nor the round sun shine that shineth to all;
Her light shall into darkness change;
For her the green grass shall not spring,
Nor the rivers flow, nor the sweet birds sing,
Till Love have his full revenge.
As I read it over the second time my eyes went wide and my pen slipped from my hand and landed on the floor,
“Oh my god” I said out loud without meaning to,
“Miss no talking thank you,” the teacher told me looking up at me from behind the desk he was sitting.
“Sir I have to leave” I said commandingly and stood up from my desk,
“Miss you have to wait for at least another half an hour before you can” he told me, I walked up to his desk and leaned close to him so we had eye contact.
“You’re going to let me leave and talk to my brother before I go alright” I commanded him using my gift,
“Yes that is alright” he replied and then went back to reading his book. I walked over to Gabriel’s desk and told him I was going back to the house, he just smiled at me and said
“I’m glad you’ve finally realised” then the weirdest thing ever happened he kissed me on the forehead
“Go” he said in a normal tone before I recomposed myself and left the room. I noticed when I turned back around to close the door everyone was staring at me with the widest eyes ever.
I ran all the way home it was just as fast as driving a car at the speed limit. No one was home of course when I got back I grabbed my car keys and speed off towards Gerard. I drove at the fastest speed I could and managed to make it there in just less than four hours,
“Gerard” I called loudly as I threw the door open, in a second Gerard was in front of me.
“Aiden why are you home?” he asked me looking confused but happy.
“I… I needed to see you” I replied trying to make myself sound like nothing was different,
“Are you okay?” he asked me closing the distance between us.
“I’m great,” I smiled up at him coming to grips with exactly why I was there - I loved Gerard.
“Are you sure? You’re acting really weirdly” he responded analysing me,
“No I’m sure, I’m great and…” I paused for affect like in the old movies I use to watch sometimes.
“I love you Gerard Way,” I said slowly and gently showing the happiness on my face,
“You love me?” he asked surprised as if he had never dreamt of me saying that.
“Yes I love you” I repeated and brushed a strand of his hair that was falling in front of his eyes. A smile stretched across Gerard’s face before his arms snaked around my waist and pulled me into the tightest hug ever,
“I love you too Aiden” he whispered into my ear and then put me back down on the ground. I couldn’t help but smile,
“You’ve remembered,” I said as we stood there after our embrace.
“I did and I’ve been waiting for you to come back” he smiled at me and then motioned for me to go into the lounge.
When I stepped in Tristian and Elizabeth were sitting there grinning up at the pair of us
“Excuse us” Elizabeth said and then stood up to leave, Tristian followed her.
“They didn’t need to do that,” I said to myself as I sat on the couch,
“Sure they did it would’ve been a little weird otherwise” Gerard replied as he sat down on the couch next to me. I couldn’t help but watch him I now knew why Gerard hadn’t seemed to change much it was because all this time I had loved him.
“Are you staring at me?” he asked me beaming,
“Yes” I replied simply it wasn’t like it was a bad thing to be admiring him.
“Finally” he sighed and put his arm around my shoulders I turned and looked at it, it was weird being so close to another person.
“Is something wrong?” he asked me as I looked at him
“It’s just this is all” I replied I guess I was going to have to get use to personal contact but I think once I do I’ll be happier than ever before.
“Tell me if it’s too much I don’t want you to be uncomfortable” he responded he had changed since I had meet him, I remember when he was confused and lost when he was on the verge of taking his life but now he was confident and happy.
“Thanks” I replied and then bowed my head as I started to think even more.
“Aiden is there something else?” Gerard sat forward and looked at me,
“No, no everything is fine” I replied and smiled covering up the thoughts flowing through my head.
Throughout this week Gerard had changed and an awful lot, I do love him yes but I have a feeling that I loved Gerard more as a human than a vampire. There was something about him when he was human he was so full of emotion and so caring and confused. Confusion isn’t really a trait that most people go by but there was just something about him when he was like that. When he was lost in thought and feeling, when he didn’t know what he was going to do or new nothing about his future, when he was unaware of everything around him and me.
“Aiden did you leave your exam?” Gerard asked after a long stretch of silence,
“Yes I did” I replied simply as it didn’t really matter whether I finished it or not.
“Are you going to go back and do your last exam?” he questioned as I sat forward and out of his embrace.
“No” I shook my head gently as I thought over what I was going to do with my life this time,
“What about your future what are you going to do for a job?” Gerard asked, I don’t think he quite remembered my or now our immortality.
“I do not need to go to school and anyway I still have a few years left if needed” I replied turning around to face him,
“How many times have you graduated?” he looked at me curious.
“Five times and three times from college” I told him as his eyes widened he was going to take a while to get use to my proper age.
“Aiden what happened when you were turned?” he asked me once again this time I don’t think I could have delayed my story any longer not now.
“What do you want to know?” I asked turning away from him now,
“I want to know what you were like, when you were… before you were… before you became a vampire” Gerard paused many times to try and find the right words.
“I was born in northern France in a small town which bordered the sea to England, I was only 15 as you know. One afternoon I was running an errand for my mother when I was attacked by one of the ‘creatures’ as they were called back then. The mob that was hunting him chased him away and left me to turn, they didn’t want to kill me as I was the lord’s daughter and feared they would be punished if they did. They were not right in assuming this but I knew better, I knew if I went back to my home my father would have me killed and I didn’t want that so I left.” My voice trailed off as the memories came back to me after many, many years.
“What did you do after that?” Gerard questioned as he laid a hand upon my back,
“Another older vampire Mikhail found me and took me into his care, he taught me like I have you all that I needed to know with the exception of my diet. Mikhail never told me that I was immortal or how much time had past since I was turned. Then after forty years we came back across my hometown, when I had left I left my mother and brother behind which tore me apart once I reconnected my emotions and memories as you have.” I turned to look at him, I knew there was sadness in my eyes and that he would want to comfort me so I continued without ado.
“This is the same place I found Gabriel after I saved him I went back to find my family but found there were no where to be found bar the ground.” I finished turning away from Gerard once again. There was silence between us for a while
“What happened to Mikhail?” he asked
“He left us a few years later without a word and I’ve never seen him since” I sat further into the couch
“Why did he leave?” he asked another question.
“I do not know he didn’t say a word like I said but back then I was very different to how I am now, I was completely stripped of emotion and I didn’t dwell on the fact that he had left.” I explained and then lay my head on his shoulder like I had seen Mikey do to Gabriel. Gerard and I sat there just like that for a long while basking in the silence that had surrounded us. There was a warmth that had been trapped between our bodies that was comforting and the rise and fall of his chest under my head was soothing it was like nothing I had felt before, it was love.
This week has been going so slowly it was only Thursday morning and I still had today and tomorrow for exams before I could go back to the house and check up on Gerard. Today we had English, which was easy if you knew what to write which of course I did. On the way to school I couldn’t help but think about Gerard he had been plaguing my mind for the whole week, if I didn’t know the answers to the papers from years and years of learning them then I think I might have had a little trouble but I didn’t. I was also becoming distracted by all the emotions I was feeling because I didn’t know what they were and Gabriel was no help with that he just said that I would have to figure them out on my own. I had figured out some of my emotion the ones, which were easiest like; frustration, confusion, aggravation and irritation but I couldn’t figure out the rest. They were weird emotions they made me want things or someone, I felt like I was missing something and I wanted it so much it was starting to hurt me and in consequence making me frustrated and irritated and aggravated. I didn’t know what they meant or even what they were they are just there and are making me do weird things.
We made our way to our class for the exam as we were all seated I tried to clear my mind of everything except what I was doing, for once it wasn’t as easy as it should be. I turned first to the poetry as I was better at that than anything else, the poem was ‘The Burial of Love’ by Lord Alfred Tennyson I read it first before answering the questions, the poem was very beautiful
His eyes in eclipse,
Pale-cold his lips,
The light of his hopes unfed,
Mute his tongue,
His bow unstrung
With the tears he hath shed,
Backward drooping his graceful head,
Love is dead:
His last arrow is sped;
He hath not another dart;
Go–carry him to his dark deathbed;
Bury him in the cold, cold heart–
Love is dead.
O truest love! art thou forlorn,
And unrevenged? thy pleasant wiles
Forgotten, and thine innocent joy?
Shall hollow-hearted apathy,
The cruellest form of perfect scorn,
With languor of most hateful smiles,
For ever write,
In the withered light
Of the tearless eye,
And epitaph that all may spy?
No! sooner she herself shall die.
For her the showers shall not fall,
Nor the round sun shine that shineth to all;
Her light shall into darkness change;
For her the green grass shall not spring,
Nor the rivers flow, nor the sweet birds sing,
Till Love have his full revenge.
As I read it over the second time my eyes went wide and my pen slipped from my hand and landed on the floor,
“Oh my god” I said out loud without meaning to,
“Miss no talking thank you,” the teacher told me looking up at me from behind the desk he was sitting.
“Sir I have to leave” I said commandingly and stood up from my desk,
“Miss you have to wait for at least another half an hour before you can” he told me, I walked up to his desk and leaned close to him so we had eye contact.
“You’re going to let me leave and talk to my brother before I go alright” I commanded him using my gift,
“Yes that is alright” he replied and then went back to reading his book. I walked over to Gabriel’s desk and told him I was going back to the house, he just smiled at me and said
“I’m glad you’ve finally realised” then the weirdest thing ever happened he kissed me on the forehead
“Go” he said in a normal tone before I recomposed myself and left the room. I noticed when I turned back around to close the door everyone was staring at me with the widest eyes ever.
I ran all the way home it was just as fast as driving a car at the speed limit. No one was home of course when I got back I grabbed my car keys and speed off towards Gerard. I drove at the fastest speed I could and managed to make it there in just less than four hours,
“Gerard” I called loudly as I threw the door open, in a second Gerard was in front of me.
“Aiden why are you home?” he asked me looking confused but happy.
“I… I needed to see you” I replied trying to make myself sound like nothing was different,
“Are you okay?” he asked me closing the distance between us.
“I’m great,” I smiled up at him coming to grips with exactly why I was there - I loved Gerard.
“Are you sure? You’re acting really weirdly” he responded analysing me,
“No I’m sure, I’m great and…” I paused for affect like in the old movies I use to watch sometimes.
“I love you Gerard Way,” I said slowly and gently showing the happiness on my face,
“You love me?” he asked surprised as if he had never dreamt of me saying that.
“Yes I love you” I repeated and brushed a strand of his hair that was falling in front of his eyes. A smile stretched across Gerard’s face before his arms snaked around my waist and pulled me into the tightest hug ever,
“I love you too Aiden” he whispered into my ear and then put me back down on the ground. I couldn’t help but smile,
“You’ve remembered,” I said as we stood there after our embrace.
“I did and I’ve been waiting for you to come back” he smiled at me and then motioned for me to go into the lounge.
When I stepped in Tristian and Elizabeth were sitting there grinning up at the pair of us
“Excuse us” Elizabeth said and then stood up to leave, Tristian followed her.
“They didn’t need to do that,” I said to myself as I sat on the couch,
“Sure they did it would’ve been a little weird otherwise” Gerard replied as he sat down on the couch next to me. I couldn’t help but watch him I now knew why Gerard hadn’t seemed to change much it was because all this time I had loved him.
“Are you staring at me?” he asked me beaming,
“Yes” I replied simply it wasn’t like it was a bad thing to be admiring him.
“Finally” he sighed and put his arm around my shoulders I turned and looked at it, it was weird being so close to another person.
“Is something wrong?” he asked me as I looked at him
“It’s just this is all” I replied I guess I was going to have to get use to personal contact but I think once I do I’ll be happier than ever before.
“Tell me if it’s too much I don’t want you to be uncomfortable” he responded he had changed since I had meet him, I remember when he was confused and lost when he was on the verge of taking his life but now he was confident and happy.
“Thanks” I replied and then bowed my head as I started to think even more.
“Aiden is there something else?” Gerard sat forward and looked at me,
“No, no everything is fine” I replied and smiled covering up the thoughts flowing through my head.
Throughout this week Gerard had changed and an awful lot, I do love him yes but I have a feeling that I loved Gerard more as a human than a vampire. There was something about him when he was human he was so full of emotion and so caring and confused. Confusion isn’t really a trait that most people go by but there was just something about him when he was like that. When he was lost in thought and feeling, when he didn’t know what he was going to do or new nothing about his future, when he was unaware of everything around him and me.
“Aiden did you leave your exam?” Gerard asked after a long stretch of silence,
“Yes I did” I replied simply as it didn’t really matter whether I finished it or not.
“Are you going to go back and do your last exam?” he questioned as I sat forward and out of his embrace.
“No” I shook my head gently as I thought over what I was going to do with my life this time,
“What about your future what are you going to do for a job?” Gerard asked, I don’t think he quite remembered my or now our immortality.
“I do not need to go to school and anyway I still have a few years left if needed” I replied turning around to face him,
“How many times have you graduated?” he looked at me curious.
“Five times and three times from college” I told him as his eyes widened he was going to take a while to get use to my proper age.
“Aiden what happened when you were turned?” he asked me once again this time I don’t think I could have delayed my story any longer not now.
“What do you want to know?” I asked turning away from him now,
“I want to know what you were like, when you were… before you were… before you became a vampire” Gerard paused many times to try and find the right words.
“I was born in northern France in a small town which bordered the sea to England, I was only 15 as you know. One afternoon I was running an errand for my mother when I was attacked by one of the ‘creatures’ as they were called back then. The mob that was hunting him chased him away and left me to turn, they didn’t want to kill me as I was the lord’s daughter and feared they would be punished if they did. They were not right in assuming this but I knew better, I knew if I went back to my home my father would have me killed and I didn’t want that so I left.” My voice trailed off as the memories came back to me after many, many years.
“What did you do after that?” Gerard questioned as he laid a hand upon my back,
“Another older vampire Mikhail found me and took me into his care, he taught me like I have you all that I needed to know with the exception of my diet. Mikhail never told me that I was immortal or how much time had past since I was turned. Then after forty years we came back across my hometown, when I had left I left my mother and brother behind which tore me apart once I reconnected my emotions and memories as you have.” I turned to look at him, I knew there was sadness in my eyes and that he would want to comfort me so I continued without ado.
“This is the same place I found Gabriel after I saved him I went back to find my family but found there were no where to be found bar the ground.” I finished turning away from Gerard once again. There was silence between us for a while
“What happened to Mikhail?” he asked
“He left us a few years later without a word and I’ve never seen him since” I sat further into the couch
“Why did he leave?” he asked another question.
“I do not know he didn’t say a word like I said but back then I was very different to how I am now, I was completely stripped of emotion and I didn’t dwell on the fact that he had left.” I explained and then lay my head on his shoulder like I had seen Mikey do to Gabriel. Gerard and I sat there just like that for a long while basking in the silence that had surrounded us. There was a warmth that had been trapped between our bodies that was comforting and the rise and fall of his chest under my head was soothing it was like nothing I had felt before, it was love.