I'm in Love With My Own Sin

Frank’s P.O.V

His lips met mine with such a needy and powerful force that I couldn’t think, couldn’t feel anything else except the way his lips moved with mine. This moment, right here and right now hadn’t happened in so long, and I was living every single second of it. I wrapped my hands around his neck, attempting to get as close to him as humanly possible as our lips passionately moved together in unison. Many feelings were surging through me, half of which I could not put into words, but I felt so much need, so much love. Gerard removed his lips from mine as he pulled away, his eyelids slightly shut.

I pushed my forehead against Gerard’s as the kiss ended, savoring the latest feeling of his lips upon mine.

“That, was way over do.” Gerard whispered to me, his smile lingered on his lips. His smile was contagious as I smiled right back at him, never taking my eyes off of all of his perfection.

I nodded at him in agreement, for I was at a loss of words. I didn’t know what to say. After that kiss, I didn’t think we needed to say anything. We both already knew what the other was thinking and I am positive that we were both thinking the same thing at that moment. We had to do that again.

Just like he answered my prayers, he dove back down and captured my lips in yet another, passion filled kiss. I moved my lips with his as I tilted my head to the side to gain more access. As we kissed, I felt Gerard open up his mouth a little wider, wide enough so that the tip of his tongue could poke out and begin to trace my bottom lip. I followed suit, and opened my mouth but instead I sucked Gerard’s bottom lip into my mouth. I nibbled on it gently for a second before I heard the godliest noise ever, Gerard’s moan.

I couldn’t help but moan at the noises he was making as our kiss became even more heated. The way his eyes were tightly closed, only feeling what he was doing and not actually seeing, was making this kiss just so much better. I closed my eyes and just allowed the feelings to over take me.

That was when Gerard took my tongue into his mouth to gently massage it with his. I was surprised at his action, but was not complaining. We fought back and forth for dominance, our tongues coming together as one. Gerard tasted so different from what I remembered. He tasted like coffee and cigarettes as he did before, but the beautiful taste was tainted with the high amounts of alcohol.

Gerard removed his lips from mine, with created a loud pop and a trail of saliva to lead from his mouth to mine. But he didn’t stop there as I felt these small, angelic kisses trail from my jaw and down to my scorpion tattoo. My breath hitched in my throat as I felt Gerard begin to bite and nip at the inked skin.

“Gee,” I whispered as he lightly began to suck at the skin. I couldn’t help but moan out as he continued to work on giving me a hickey.

“Hmm?” he attempted to say around my neck. I grabbed the back of his head and closed my eyes, savoring every little feeling that I was getting.

“Gerard, you- you have to s-stop” I whispered to him regretfully. I heard him groan before he pulled away and I was left with this cold, wet empty feeling lingering on my neck.

“We- we cant do this. Not right now Gerard. The times not right and I- I just cant.” I tried to explain to him, and myself. God, I am so stupid for turning him down. I thought that Gerard was going to be mad, or yell or something in that area but no. He laughed. Gerard laughed and sat up on the couch to straighten his shirt. I was utterly confused.

“Remember when I was the one who always told you to stop?” he laughed at the memory. “Looks like the tables have been turned.” He giggled at me. I rolled my eyes at him and slapped playfully at his arm.

We laughed at each other for a moment, thinking back to all of the good times and the bad times. Which got me thinking about my dad for about a second. But I quickly chased that thought away. Then, I thought about that kiss we had just shared and it was safe to say that it was probably the best kiss we have shared. Or, make out would be more precise. It was like a ‘welcome back, see what you have been missing?’ Kind of kiss and it just made everything so much better.

“You know, that was the first kiss I have had in a long time.” Gerard confessed to me after that long silence.

“Really? How long?” I asked him curiously. I mean this was Gerard we were talking about and whoever wouldn’t kiss Gerard must be crazy.

“Five years…” he trailed off, looking at me straight dead in the eyes. I could have choked on air if it were possible. “You were the last person that these lips have ever touched.” He told me, and that just made my mouth fall open.

Gerard cared about me way more than I thought he did. And right now, I wish I could say the same for him. But I never thought that I would see him again and I got my girlfriend… shit! I completely forgot that I had a girlfriend… god, this was so much like our first kiss its uncanny… I swallowed hard and thought back to it. I didn’t even feel guilty. Which, under normal circumstances I probably would have but this was Gerard… the same Gerard that Is my soul mate, the one that I love, and she sure isn’t Gerard. So, there is only one thing that I can do. I have to end it with her. I knew our relationship would not last anyway but god this is going to be hard.

“You didn’t have to do that Gee.” Was all I could think to say at this moment. Gerard smiled at me and grabbed both of my hands to hold.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he whispered as he stroked my hands with his thumbs.

…
Gerard stayed over a little while after that and we watched the chainsaw massacre together. Another kiss did not happen after the two that we shared; yet I wouldn’t have it any other way. I was so ecstatic that Gerard and I got to hang out with each other and catch up after all of those years apart. I was glad to learn everything that has been going on with him, even though some things saddened me.

But after Gerard left I knew what I had to do next. I walked into the kitchen to where the cordless phone was located. I picked it up and dialed that oh so familiar number. My nerves began to accelerate the more and more the phone rang. After the fourth ring, she finally answered.

“Hello?” she asked into the receiver. I could almost hear the smile in her voice. “Frank baby is that you?” she asked once again. I nodded, and then remembered that she couldn’t see me. I swallowed hard before answering her.

“Yeah, its Me.” I whispered into the phone, my hands lightly began to shake, as it got hard to hold the phone anymore. “Jamia, we need to break up.” and in just those six words, all of my ties were broken.