I'm in Love With My Own Sin

Gerard’s P.O.V

The looks on the guy’s faces as Frank and I entered the house were priceless. The looked like they had just seen a ghost and I didn’t blame them. But once those shocked expressions blew over, they were replaced with elated, yet curious expressions. All of them except for Mikey who had a scowl planted on his usual carefree face. It made me wonder a bit, but then I decided that he was probably just upset because he was wrong.

“Frank? Is that you man? God, I haven’t seen you since high school! Well, hardly even then because you were off with Gerard all the time but… yeah, so how have you been? Wait, hold on why are you here is more like it. Not to sound rude or anything, its just… wow.” Ray was the first to speak up. He was really just rambling on and on and asking so many questions. I was confused.

Frank smiled next to me and giggled that same little giggle that he used to do in high school. Even now every time I heard it my heart skipped a beat. I still can’t believe that Frank is really here right now. It feels like this is all a dream and I will wake up from it at any moment. I knew that he would come back for me, he told me he would. All of that waiting seemed to pay off.

“Yeah, its really me Toro, and don’t feel bad. Gerard was really the only one that I ever talked to.” Frank said glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. “Its actually a coincidence that I am here. I saw some posters when I was in town earlier today saying that this band needed a guitarist. So I thought since my band just broke up, why not try out for this one? Then it turns out that it is actually Gerard’s house.” Frank explained, smiling really big, where almost every single one of his teeth are showing.

“So, it was fate?” Bob piped up from behind his drum set as he twiddled his drum sticks around and threw them up in the air a few times, trying to show off.

“Yeah, it was fate.” Frank said, looking up at me once again. “And it’s the best thing that has happened to me in a while.” I almost completely froze at Frank’s words. I couldn’t help but feel a little spark course throughout my whole entire body, staring at my toes and making its way up. I stopped myself from getting too excited. I didn’t want to get closer to Frank if I didn’t know if I could trust him fully.

“Well, it looks like we don’t need to hold any auditions, I am pretty sure that me and all of the guys agree that you got the part.” Ray spoke up, turning his attention over to Frank. Frank looked up at all of us, smiling widely.

“Really?” he questioned, the happiness evident in his tone. Ray, Bob and I all nodded our heads in unison.

“Whoa, hold up a minute. Don’t I get a say in this?” Mikey spoke up, crossing his arms across his chest and raising an eyebrow.

All of the guy’s and I looked over at Mikey with shocked expressions on our faces. What the fuck is his problem? Ever since Frank got here he has been treating him like utter shit. I couldn’t help but think that something had to be going on between the two of them. That or Mikey is a sore loser.

“What are you talking about Mikey?” Ray questioned him, shaking his head. “We already know that Frank can play and we’ve known him since high school. Its better than having a stranger in the band.” Ray explained to him while Bob nodded his head in agreement.

“That’s where you’re wrong. We knew him for about half of a year in high school till he left and dropped all communication to Gerard only leaving a letter. I am actually surprised that Gerard doesn’t have a problem with this actually.” Mikey sneered turning in my direction.

My jaw just dropped open. He promised me that he wasn’t going to say anything to anybody about that. What has gotten into him? Whatever it is he is just pissing me off. Why cant he just be happy for me? Frank is back and I want to actually enjoy spending time with him, I don’t know if it will be for long. So ultimately, I had to speak up.

“Mikey! Just shut the fuck up!” I screamed at him, my voice echoing off of the walls. Frank just starred up at me like I was a mad man, his mouth hanging open. The rest of the room got silent.

“What Gerard! I am just stating the facts. What happened when Frank left you Gerard?” Mikey seethed at me. I shook my head no, trying to get him to drop it.

Mikey walked over closer to me that he was up in my face, his hot breath lingering on my lips, his face bright red. I looked into his eyes and he just looked furious. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides.

“C’mon, tell him Gerard. Tell him how you felt when he left you. Tell him how practically every single day for months you would cry to me about how he left and how you miss him. Or you can tell him about your depression and how you’re an alcoholic now because of him. Hell, there are a lot of things that Frank did to you!” Mikey yelled at me, jabbing a finger at me making me fall back and hit the wall.

I was about to yell something back to him, I wanted to just scream a fuck you to him but I knew that it would just fuel the fire. Then all of a sudden Bob yanked Mikey back away from me and pushed him over to the door yelling a ‘Get the fuck out!’ before the door was slammed and Mikey was out the door. I looked up at Frank, whose head was down and he was rubbing his arm absentmindedly.

I sighed and walked over to Frank and patted him on the back. I heard the mumbled voices of Ray and Bob in the background and I instantly felt grateful that Bob was there. I felt so grateful that he would do that for me. Bob was absolutely amazing right now.

“Thanks Bob,” I whispered brokenly to him but appreciative all the same.

“Your welcome dude, don’t worry about Mikey. He just needs to cool off a bit. Ray and I are going to head out though and we will be back tomorrow.” Bob said as he walked over to me and patted me in the back whispering that everything would be okay. I nodded to him and watched as Ray and Bob walked out the door.

It was silent after the guys left. Frank just stood there awkwardly, swaying back and forth on his heels. I could have sworn that I saw a small tear gliding down his cheek, but I could have been mistaken. As for me, I was stuck in my thoughts. Everything that Mikey was saying is really getting to me now. I’m glad he left when he did, because I don’t think I could have dealt with anything else that he would say.

“Uh- do you want to come hang out a little bit?” I asked Frank, breaking that unnerving silence that fell between us. Frank looked up at me, eyes blood shot and red.

“What? Oh, no I should be getting home.” Frank told me. I literally felt my heart snap in two.

“But you could come over if you want to, you know we could catch up a little bit?” he asked me nervously as he bit his lip ring. A huge smile formed on my lips.

“Yes! God, I would love that! It would be awesome!” I exclaimed, not even bothering to hide my excitement.

Frank smiled at me and motioned for me to follow him out the door. We got outside and walked over to his car where I sat down in the passenger’s side. I had no intentions of going to Frank’s house tonight. Yet I didn’t have any intentions to actually see Frank tonight. I guess things just work in mysterious ways.

I would have never expected to have Frank showing up in my driveway. I wasn’t even sure if I would see him again or not, even though I always hoped I would. I didn’t expect to still have the same feelings that I had for him all of those years ago. I also didn’t expect for him to feel the same way. But, I guess Bob was right.

This was pure fate.