Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass

December 1st.

The winter was getting colder, but now it wasn’t snowing as much, meaning that now we sadly had to go back to school.

“Mom! I’m going to school!” I exclaimed loudly up the stairs where she was getting ready.

“Oh honey!” She exclaimed back. “Have a good day!” She added and I rolled my eyes as I grabbed my coat and quickly made my way out of the door. Alex was already waiting for me outside and I smiled softly as I made my way towards him. Things had been extremely awkward between me and him ever since our drunken kiss we had hardly any conversations anymore. I think mainly because he was hiding something from me.

“So.. How are you?” Alex asked and I shrugged as we walked.

“I’m okay, what about you?” I asked and he copied my actions with a soft sigh.

“I’ve been better.” He said and I sighed as we continued. Sometimes I really wished this walk was shorter.

“What’s up?” I asked already knowing this conversation would end up with an awkward silence.

“Just stuff, it’s nothing important.” He said with a small smile and I sighed as I rubbed his arm with my hand. As soon as I placed my arm back down by my side, he grabbed it, entwining our fingers. I smiled softly at him and he smiled back happily. I wasn’t going to reject him at a time like this and a part inside me did really like him.. It was the first time since the kiss he'd interacted with me like this and I still liked it no matter what. I just didn’t know what he’d think about the secret.. The part of me that I swore I’d never tell anyone.. “So.. You know the winter dance?” Alex asked and I burrowed my brows in confusion.

“Well.. I haven’t heard anything about it..” I muttered and he sighed as he stopped me, grabbing both of my hands with his.

“Well.. I was wondering if you’d like to go with me..?” He asked and I sighed as I thought about it. It’s only a dance.. I thought to myself as I smiled softly.

“I’d really like that, Lex.” I said and smiled as I saw his eyes light up, the grin growing on his face as he pulled me into his arms.

“I’ll admit.. I’ve never asked a girl to a dance before.” He chuckled to him self and I shrugged as he kept one hand attached to mine as we carried on walking. "It's.. strange." He sighed and I shrugged.

“There’s always a first for something.” I said with a soft giggle and he smiled.

“I love your laugh.” He stated softly as he started pulling me in a different direction to the one we usually went in to get to school.

“Alex, where are you taking me?” I asked in confusion as he pulled me along by the hand.

“I’m showing you something.. I’ve been coming here since I was little.. My brother used to bring me and I finally want to share it with someone else.” He smiled as he pulled us through a thick section of bushes and trees, that I honestly didn’t know were there until now. “It’s time to let him go and share these experiences with someone else..” He sighed as he continued leading me through the bushes until we came to a lake. He stood by the edge and stared out at the ice that had frozen because of the cold weather and still falling snow. “He brought me here when I was eight.. I’ve been coming here pretty much everyday since.. If I don’t have enough time in the morning, I’ll go at night. It just makes me feel closer to him.” He explained and I felt a tear fall softly down my cheek as I stood behind him, his back turned to me. At this point I was glad he couldn’t see the water falling down my face.

“That’s really nice Alex. And you don’t have to let him go.. He was your brother at the end of the day, you can’t let go of that.” I said, more tears falling as I walked over to his side. As soon as he saw my face he pulled me into his side and rested his head on top of mine.

“Why are you crying at my own stupid problems?” Alex asked with a soft laugh, his voice shaking and I could tell he was starting to get upset himself.

“It’s not stupid Alex, you lost your brother and best friend.” I said my tears starting to subside. He sighed softly as he kissed my forehead. He sat down underneath a tree, bare of snow and pulled me down into his arms. I cuddled into his chest and sighed as I looked up at him before wiping the tears that were rolling down his face softly. He cupped my face, staring deep into my eyes, almost as if he was trying to read me. I instantly knew what was coming, but I didn’t care. I actually wanted this. He leaned closer into me and I did the same, our lips crashed together and his tongue traced across my lower lip. Pleading for entrance that I gladly gave to him. He pulled away moments later and ran his fingers through my hair.

“I really like you, Ruby..” He muttered and I sighed as I rested my head on his chest.

“Oh trust me, Honey.. You don’t want to get stuck with my problems.” I said and he chuckled lightly.

“I don’t care, Rubes. I like you for what you are.. No matter what problems your going through.. I’m a troubled teen that’s brother killed himself, we both have our problems. But they make us what we are.” He said and I smiled softly. “You’ve grown to be my best friend, Ruby. But I want you to be more than that..” He stated, I looked into his dark brown eyes that only showed he was being sincere about this. I smiled softly and kissed his lips gently in which he instantly kissed back.

“I’ll think about it.” I said as I stood up, holding out a hand for him to grab. I helped him up and we started our walk to school, our hands locked together as we did so.

;;

It was now dinner time at school, and I was sat around the table with everyone else. Alex was sat beside me, holding my hand secretly under the table as Lisa would be pissed if she saw. Soon enough, Lisa walked out of the cafeteria to go to her class and Alex rolled his eyes as he lightly kissed my cheek. Everyone gave us strange looks but it was possibly just because they didn’t know what was going on. He turned me to face him and I raised a brow in confusion until he planted his lips on mine.

“I’ve been waiting to do that all lunch.” Alex chuckled and I giggled along before turning to everyone else who’s jaws had basically hit the floor.

“When the fuck were you gonna tell us?!” Jack exclaimed and we both shrugged.

“It only happened today.” Alex said as he took a bite of his apple. Jack’s mouth was still wide open and I chuckled softly at his expression.

“Oh Jack, you do make me laugh.” I stated and he shut his mouth before grinning and running around to us.

“My two babies are growing up! Give me some sugar!” He said as he moved behind us and brought us both into a bone crushing hug.

“Holy crap, we’re not even together so I’m worried what he’ll be like when we fucking are!” I exclaimed and Jack groaned.

“You’re not together?! Just fucking go out already!” He exclaimed with a chuckle and we both rolled our eyes softly before laughing ourselves. But one thing bugged me.. I couldn’t help but wish we were dating. But with my problems, Alex would be in for a bumpy ride.