Oh Baby, Let Me In

*Frank’s POV*

He wanted to know the truth? Well, he could have it.
After I had spent a while preparing myself to tell him about my feelings, I stood up and went over to him, starting to speak as soon I was standing directly in front of him.

“Okay, Gerard. You want to hear the truth? Well, here goes nothing..”
Take a breath, Frank. It’s not that hard.
“I have always…”, I continued, but was disturbed by loud knocking on the door.

Oh great, mission fucking accomplished.

“Guys, you in here?”, Ray yelled from the other side of the door.

“Yeah”, Gee yelled back.

“K, we’re gonna get you out.” That came from Mikey.

Thank god, finally! In some way I was glad we we’re going to get out of this room. I was even a bit glad, that I hadn’t actually told Gerard the truth.
For some time it was silent. Ray and Mikey were gone to find someone who’d be able to open that goddamn door.

“Frank, what were you gonna say?”, Gee broke the silence suddenly.

“Uh.. Nothing. It doesn’t matter, really.”, I tried to avoid this conversation. The guys had definitely killed the mood.

“I think it does matter. I know it’s bothering you. So what is it?”

Oh god. I had to find excuse fast.

“I.. Umm.. I don’t know what got into me. I was kinda having a weird time and I was getting really self-conscious last time I was with that girl and I don’t know. I was kinda seeing, whether I had to be ashamed of myself?”
Oh fucking hell! What the fuck was I saying? That didn’t even make sense. Me self-conscious? And apart from that, me with a girl? What the hell had gotten into me?

I guess it really did sound weird and unbelievable, because Gerard started laughing at me suddenly. Like what I was saying was so ridiculous, it just couldn’t have been true.

“What?”, I snapped at him.

“Nothing. It’s just that you’ve never been self-conscious and I’m definitely not the right person to look at.”, he continued with his nerve-wrecking laugh.

I felt like crying. Am I honestly that convincing? As far as I knew, I was as transparent as a fucking window. He should’ve noticed what was going on a long time ago.
And honestly, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to tell him.

“Okay, Gerard listen. That was a lie.” I tried to regain my breath and collect my thoughts before going on.
“I guess, you should’ve noticed that a long time ago, probably almost a decade ago, but you never have. So I gotta tell you.”
Frank, calm down! You can do this.
“I.. I have..”, I stammered.

“Well? Are you going to say it?”, Gee chimed in.

“Gerard, I have always, since the day I met you, liked you. And I’ve been afraid to tell you for all this time, because, you know, you’ve got this stupid girlfriend, who thinks it’s okay to tease me about it and you’re probably as straight as anyone could ever be and I was so ashamed of myself in the beginning, but now I’ve grown to accept the fact, that I’ll always love you and that I’ll probably never have you.”

As soon as I finished my little speech and Gerard was looking at me like I was a ghost, the door opened and in came Mikey and Ray, my saviors.
I really didn’t want to know, what Gerard had to say right now.