So Lock And Load, Mercenaries

"Okay," I say, after I've just pulled on my pyjama bottoms and watch as Ronnie searches for his boxers. His body looks exhausted, but his eyes are shining, and I'm sure I'm the same, "You were ill, or feeling ill, and I came to look after you."

Ronnie smirks and comes over to me, sliding his hands round my small frame and pulling me against him, "Not mention the fact we've just had very, very hot sex, six times in the past hour?"

"Nope." I smirk, leaning up to kiss him deeply again and slide my hands into the boxers he's just pulled on. My own body stings, between my legs aching like I've never felt.

I couldn't explain what had just happen, or what was happening, between Ronnie and I. The most I could say was that there was a physical attraction between us, so strong that I couldn't find words for. Even after the most intimate thing possible between two humans, I felt my whole body ache for Ronnie against me again.

I follow Ronnie down the stairs, and at the bottom of them, in the hall he arranges his face into an almost sad expression, tired and weary, an ill looking expression. I smile at him and bite my lip, making him moan a little, and snap a look of sympathy on my face, placing a hand on his bare shoulder, making my fingers tingle.

As I push open the living room door and Ronnie hangs his head a little, I look at him worriedly, "Are you okay?"

Ronnie rubs his stomach, a superb actor, "Yeah... I think so."

Someone stirs on the sofa and I identify them as Becky, sitting up groggily and rubbing her left eye. Craig stirs on the floor too, and props himself up on his forearms.

"Where've you been?" Becky asks, almost suspicious.

"Ronnie was feeling real ill," I say as I pat his shoulder and settle on the floor next to Craig, and he wraps an arm round my waist, pulling my hips against his chest, "And I went to look after him 'cause I was awake."

"Oh, okay." Becky says, satisfied as she curls up back against Danny and kisses his cheek.

I settle down next to Craig and Ronnie sits on his chair, curling back up under a blanket, staring straight at me, his vivid green eyes almost glowing in the dark.

"I got freaked when I woke up with my arm round a pillow." Craig whispers in my ear, his lips pressing a kiss to it as he pulls me closer, "Wondered where you were."

"Ronnie was really ill." I murmur into his chest, fingering the soft fabric of his shirt a little, "I had to look after him."

"Alright." Craig says, kissing the top of my head, "I love you."

"Love you too." I say, and even despite what's happened in the last hour, I mean it.

The morning finds us all in the same positions as the night before, Craig and I entwined on the floor, Becky and Danny on one of the sofas, Jake and Matt on another sofa, and Max, Kiara, Mike and Ria nowhere to be seen, probably in two of the countless bedroom's in Becky oversized family house.

We're all woken by Zacky, Cathy, Jen and Rou crashing through the living room door, talking loudly and laughing.

"Wake up fuckerss!" Jen screeches, and I groan, sitting up, Craig's arms loose round me. As I sit up Ronnie catches my eye and we hold each others gaze for a few seconds, before pulling away.

"You're the fuckers." I groan, rubbing my eyes as everyone slowly sits up. I get a little rush of guilt and hypocrisy at myself when I murmur those words, but push the acid back down into my stomach.

Someone puts on another movie, and I climb back onto the sofa, crammed between Kiara and Craig, watching the horror movie with a small smile. Halfway through the movie, Ronnie coughs loudly, and I can't help looking at him. He's staring back, winks at me, jerks his head, unnoticeably, then pushes himself out of his chair, taking his phone from the arm and saying to the group, "I've just got to make a call."

I wait for a minute, before kissing Craig on the cheek, and just mentioning I've got to go to the loo. I slip out the door and leave the movie, out in the light of the hall. I stalk up the stairs, quick and silent, and see Ronnie leaning against a door.

I move against him quickly, pinning him against the door and I kiss him harshly, needing his body against mine again. His tongue pushes between my lips and his hands pull at my shirt.

"Lily..." He murmurs into my lips, but I manage, barely, to shake my head.

"We can't, everyone's awake." I murmur back, kissing his lips once, twice, three times, short sharp kisses to catch my breath.

"Okay." Ronnie kisses me again, his breath washing into mine, his hands skittering all over my skin, holding me against him, "Okay."

When we pull apart, breathless and panting, I dodge into Becky's room, where my jeans lay discarded with my phone in my pocket. Ronnie meets me at the door with another needing kiss, and I back him against the doorframe, pushing his spine against the wood, making him hiss and pull me closer.

"Ronnie. I need your number." I breathe, running a hand through my hair.

"I need you." He whispers huskily, pulling my hips closer. He smirks, then recites his number as I punch it in my phone, and repeating my number as Ronnie presses keys on his phone.

I give him one last heated kiss, before we break apart, and I hurry down the stairs, back into the living room and Craig's arms. I feel guilt again, sliding up my throat, like acid, or heartburn.

Even in Craig's arms, when Ronnie slips back in the door, snapping his phone shut for effect, I feel my body scream and ache for him again. I shift uncomfortably in Craig's arms and I notice Ronnie sits on the arm of the chair further away from me, probably for his self control, since I know mine is weakening.

We watch the movie and slowly people get dressed, Becky and I the last ones to sidle upstairs and pull on our clothes. I sit on the bed and run my hands through my hair, telling Becky I'll just be a minute as she leaves.

I catch sight of myself in the mirror and groan, standing and finding a stick of eyeliner of Becky's, scrawling a line of black around my eyes. I'm glad my best friend has the same skin shade as me, since I borrow a bit of her foundation and I know she won't mind.

"Lily?"

Ronnie.

I pull open Becky's bedroom door a little and Ronnie throws himself at me, kissing me again, backing me against the wall, "We've got to stop doing this." I hear him murmur into my lips.

"Why? I can't help it."

"Someone might find us."

"Wait 'til tomorrow. Your house."

"Text me."

"I need you."

Our breath comes short and sharp between kisses, and I find myself not wanting to wait until tomorrow, until Ronnie's house, between Ronnie's sheets, his body in mine.

We pull apart, somehow managing to stop ourselves, hurrying downstairs so as to not arise suspicions. I go to settle next to Craig, but my self control is dangerously low at the moment, so I make a worried face.

"I've got to go rush off, go round my Moms, I just remembered." I lie horribly, chewing my lip as Craig and Ronnie stare at me, "Are you staying here Craig?"

I secretly hope he says yes, so I don’t have to go round my Mom's and make up some bullshit story.

"I'll stay here." He says softly, his eyes fixed on me before he smiles, and looks back at the television screen.

I move forward to kiss his cheek and he whispers a cursory "I love you," in my ear. I whisper it back and give him a quick hug, before pulling away and hugging my way around the group.

I reach Ronnie and hesitate ever so slightly as he looks up at me with those eyes, his lips parted in the way I find completely irresistible. I lean down and hug him, and he whispers in my ear, completely inaudible to everyone else, "Text me."

I pull apart and nod so slightly, saying my goodbyes and reaching the door, pulling it open and closing it behind me.

When I get to our house I unlock the door, close it behind me, throw my bag against the opposite wall and scream.

I sink to a sitting position against the door and wonder what the fuck I'm doing.

But I know I can't stop it.