Listen To Your Heart

Tour progressed steadily. My routine pretty much stayed that same night to night, but as the days went on, I loosened the reins and left more up to the bands to take care of for themselves, such as packing and head counts. We were about a third through tour at this point and everything was going smoothly. Pat and AJ made the most adorable couple, and the only time they were apart was while Pat was on stage and while we drove. But sometimes I was nice and let AJ sneak onto the guy’s bus for the night. Things with John were also going smoothly. He had yet to do something stupid and seemed to be controlling his drinking, although he was never really sober.
We had a show in Florida tonight, and I was excited to be in one of my favorite states. Little did I know, Florida would be where everything went to hell.
I was backstage, watching as The Maine’s crew set up their instruments. The guys started to trickle over to me, waiting for their time to go on. Last of the five to come over was John, who staggered over, looking a bit dizzy. I got up and walked over to him.
“John… are you alright?” I asked.
“I’m… I’m fabulous. And you?” He smiled.
“How much have you had to drink?” I asked.
“Not too much. I promise. I’m good to go.” He said, leaning against the wall. I sighed and nodded, going back to my post. It was against my better judgment, but it was too late to cancel their set now. A few minutes later, the stage was ready and I sent the guys out. John made it to the microphone and the first song began, which went well enough. I relaxed and sat through the rest of the set. It was time for the last song, but John began talking first.
“Well this is going to be our last song for the night. And if it’s okay with you guys, I’d like to dedicate it to a special girl that is here tonight. She means a lot to me. In fact, I’m in love with her. But she doesn't like me very much at the moment. But either way, I hope she’ll listen to this song and maybe think about it. It’s called Into Your Arms.” He finished, the music immediately picking up to the familiar beat of the song.

“There was a new girl in town.
She had it all figured out.
And I'll state something rash.
She had the most amazing....smile.
I bet you didn't expect that.
But she made me change my ways.
With eyes like sunsets baby.
And legs that went on for days.

I'm fallin' in love
But it's fallin' apart.
I need to find my way back to the start.
When we were in love.
Oh things were better than they are.
Let me back into.
Into your arms.
Into your arms.”

I felt myself growing sad, angry, and happy all at the same time. I wanted to cry, scream, and smile. I ripped my headset off after the chorus and handed it to AJ, who was standing by watching the guy’s set.
“Will you wrap up for me?” I asked, wiping my eye quickly as I felt a tear form.
“Yeah, of course. Are you okay?” She asked, putting on the headset. I didn’t answer her and just ran off quickly. I didn’t know where to go. I weaved throughout the building until I came to a door leading me outside. I circled the building until I found the back, which was empty and quite. I leaned against the wall and sighed. How dare he. He had no right to put me on the spot like that. He had no right to try and make me feel guilty. God, I was so embarrassed. Why wouldn’t he just give up already? How could I make him give up? The answer came to me as I heard footsteps coming from the side of the building. I looked up just as John came around the corner.
“Jamie. There you are. Why did you run away? I didn’t mean to upset you.” He frowned.
“Leave me alone John. I don’t want anything to do with you.” I told him with a glare.
“Geez, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would upset you this much.”
“It’s not just this John. I’m done with you fawning over me. We are done! Finished! I don’t want you to be any part of my life. There is no chance that we will ever be together. You fucked up! You screwed me over, now live with the consequences. You not only lost my trust, you lost my love. I don’t love you anymore John, and I never will. The sooner you get that through your thick skull, the better it’ll be for both of us.” I spat before walking quickly past him, leaving him standing alone in the alley, shocked, confused and hurt. The look of pain on his face was one that I’d never be able to get out of my mind. But what killed me the most was the tears forming in his eyes.
But it needed to be done. I knew the only way he’d move on was if he lost hope. And he would never lose hope if he thought I still love him. So it needed to be done, even if every word was lie.