Listen To Your Heart

Once I got back to the venue, I went to my bus. Thankfully, I found Rotem there.
“Hey Jamie, how is everything?” She asked.
“Everything is fine. So we’re going to keep tomorrow night’s date. Can you help me get the word out about that?” I asked, sitting next to her.
“Sure thing.” She smiled, grabbing her laptop. We wrote an announcement together about how the emergency that paused the tour was all settled now and that the tour would progress as scheduled from now on. I also mentioned that information for making up the missed date would be announced soon. While Rotem was posting that everywhere she could, I wrote an email to my boss telling him what had happened but that I had it under control and everything was fine now. After that was settled, I went around to the buses and spoke with each tour manager, giving a watered down synopsis of the event that had occurred and explaining what would happen from here. I announced to everyone that we would be leaving this afternoon at one for the next venue and talked to all the bus drivers to make sure they knew which venue we were going to. Once I had talked to everyone that I needed to, I went back to my bus. I felt gross, so I decided to take a shower. When I was done, I found AJ in the lounge.
“Hey, you’re back. Everything go alright?” I asked.
“Yeah, everything is fine. The paperwork just took a really long time. Hospitals are not very punctual when it comes to releasing people. How are you? Did you get back okay?” She asked.
“Yeah, I was fine. It wasn’t a very far walk. And I caught everyone up on what’s happening. We’re leaving at one for tomorrow night’s show, by the way.” I informed her.
“Alright, cool.” She smiled.
“So how’s John?” I asked nonchalantly.
“Physically, he seems fine. He seems really out of it though; just really lost in his thoughts.” She told me. I nodded.
“Yeah, I know the feeling.” I sighed, sitting down next to her. She smiled at me sympathetically.
“How are you holding up?” She asked.
“I don’t know AJ. I really just don’t know.” I sighed.
“That’s okay. It’s okay to not know sometimes.” She told me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and pulling me closer. I nodded and resting my head on her shoulder.
“Sometimes it is. But not in this case.” I said. She nodded understandingly and stayed quiet. I did the same, not having anything to say. After a while, I sat up and looked at her.
“If you want to spend the drive with Pat on the guys’ bus, that would be okay.” I told her.
“Do you want me to stay here with you? We can have a girl’s night.” She smiled.
“No,” I smiled. “It’s okay. Go have fun with Pat.”
“Well… alright. If you promise you’re okay?” She eyed me and I nodded. “Okay. Thanks.” She smiled and hugged me. I hugged her back before she pulled away and gave me one more smile before getting up and going to her bunk to pack some things for her stay with Pat. After she left, I watched TV until it was time to get everyone moving. I went around to the buses and made sure everyone was all set before I sent them on their way. I tentatively knocked on the door to the guys’ bus and thankfully Jared answered.
“Hey Jamie.” He smiled.
“Hey Jared. I’m just here to make sure everyone is all set so you can be on your way.” I told him.
“Yeah, I think everyone is on board. We’re all set. You should ride with us instead of being all alone on your bus.” He offered.
“That’s probably not a good idea. And anyway, I’m not alone. The rest of the crew is with me. I’ll be fine. But thank you anyway.” I told him. He just nodded understandingly.
“Alright, well have a nice ride. See you tomorrow.” He waved.
“Yeah, see ya.” I smiled lightly before walking back to my bus. Once I got on, I gave the bus driver the go ahead and we were off. I went back to the lounge and found the girls there watching a movie.
“Hey Jamie! We’re having a chick flick marathon, care to join?” Morgan asked.
“Sure.” I smiled, sitting down next to Gissy.
“Here!” Sara said, handing me the tub of popcorn that they were sharing.
“Thanks.” I smiled, taking a handful. I made myself comfortable on the couch and paid attention to the movie. We were all laughing and having fun, fooling around with each other and making fun of the cliché lines in the movies. During one of the movie changes, I looked around at the girls and felt the smile on my lips. I was having fun and I was happy. I could be happy on my own. I didn’t need John to be happy, and that was a comforting feeling. Maybe, just maybe, I didn’t need John.