Listen To Your Heart

“Garrett!” I squealed after seeing him on the couch. I stumbled over to him and plopped down on his lap, before bringing the beer bottle that I was carrying back to my lips. The party was in full swing, and with plenty of alcohol running through my body, I had finally loosened up.
“Hey Jamie.” He laughed, grabbing my waist to steady me so I didn’t fall off his lap. “Someone’s having a good time.”
“I am! I am having a good time. I can have fun all by myself. I don’t need a stupid boy.” I slurred emphatically.
“Of course you don’t. But considering you brought it up, I’m guessing you want a boy. A certain boy, that is.” Garrett reasoned.
“I do not!” I scoffed. “I don’t want that idiot. I want someone new.” I told him before putting the bottle back to my lips. As I was drinking, Eric from A Rocket to the Moon came over and sat next to Garrett and I.
“Hey guys!” He slurred. I smiled at him. Well, he was someone new.
“Hey cutie!” I grinned, getting up from Garrett’s lap and plopping on to Eric’s. Garrett looked at me questioningly and I just shrugged and smiled. “Sorry Garbear, Eric’s lap looked more comfortable.” I giggled. “Do you mind?” I asked, turning to Eric, draping an arm over his shoulders.
“Nah. My lap’s always open for pretty girls.” He winked, causing me to giggle. I brought my beer back to my lips and finished it off, frowning when I did. “You all out?” He asked. I nodded with a pout. “How about we get you some more? I hear they’re doing shots in the back lounge, care to accompany me?” He asked. I nodded with a big smile, getting off his lap slowly, careful not to fall. Eric got up too and grabbed my hand, leading me away.
“Bye Gar!” I giggled, waving at him as Eric pulled me through the crowd. We made it to the back and joined in with the others that were doing shots, which included Kenny. He looked at me and Eric weird but eventually got over it and relaxed. A couple shots later and I was gone. I was resting on Eric as he had his arm around my shoulders, his fingers running up and down my arm. I let out a drunken giggle and looked up at him. He looked down at me and smiled in return.
“Do you want to go hang out in my bus?” He slurred, smirking at me. I giggled and nodded and he stood up, pulling me with him. Why did I have to be such a flirty drunk? He placed his hand on my lower back as he led me back through the crowd and off the bus. Once we were outside, he stopped in his tracks and turned around, causing me to run into his chest. I giggled and looked up at him, and when I did, he leaned down and attached our lips. I kissed him back; too drunk to care that I was only doing this because I was drunk. He pulled away and grinned, grabbing my hand and began pulling me towards his bus. I looked up and saw a figure leaning against the bus a few feet away from us, smoking a cigarette. As we passed him, I realized it was John. He was watching me with a hard expression and I held his stare as Eric pulled me along, until I stumbled and my eyes snapped back to watching where I was going. Eric veered towards one of the buses and opened the door. I glanced once more at John before Eric pulled me in. Once the door shut behind me, Eric grabbed my hips and turned me towards him, pressing his lips to mine before I could even register it. I sighed into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck and trying to get rid of all the feelings of loneliness and sadness that I’ve been feeling. I felt him guiding us through the bus until he pulled away from me.
“Shall we?” He smiled, motioning to the open bunk beside us. I just nodded slightly and climbed in. He climbed in too and shut the curtain before crawling on top of me and kissing me again. We kissed for a while before he pulled away and took off his shirt. He reached for mine and I let him take it off, not really caring what I was doing at this point. I was too drunk and sad and thoughts of John were making my head spin. As Eric began kissing my neck, I just closed my eyes and pretended he was John. His hands ran down my sides until they found the button to my jeans and started undoing them. Suddenly, I heard the curtain rip open and familiar voice caused my eyes to shoot open.
“Eric, get off her.” John said sternly. Eric stopped what he was doing and looked up, his brow furrowing.
“John?” He asked. John just sighed and grabbed Eric’s arm, yanking him from the bunk. “Dude, what the hell?” Eric protested as he shrugged out of John’s grip.
“Eric, you can’t sleep with her! She’s your boss, and she’s hammered.” John scolded him. Eric scoffed.
“You just don’t want me banging your ex. You guys broke up, she’s fair game!” He defended. Their conversation caused me to blush as I sat up and grabbed around for my shirt before slipping it on.
“Not when she’s this drunk. I’m not going to let you take advantage of her.” John said annoyed.
“Whatever.” Eric scoffed, rolling his eyes and stumbling off towards the back lounge. John sighed and looked over at me as I sat in Eric’s bunk. He shook his head and held out his hand to me.
“Come on Jamie.” He said. I took it hesitantly and allowed him to help me out of the bunk. I stumbled as I stood up, but John steadied me. He shook his head again as he began leading me from the bus. “Why are you this drunk, Jamie?” He sighed.
“Why aren’t you drunk at all?” I countered, my words slurred.
“I’m trying this new thing where I don’t drink my feelings away.” He sighed, opening the door for me as we exited the bus. I just nodded in response as I looked down at the ground.
“Why did you do that, in there? I can… I can take care of myself you know.” I told him, trying to sound confident.
“What, so you wanted to fuck Eric?” He asked, raising his eyebrow.
“Well… not really.” I said quietly, looking down.
“That’s why I did it, Jamie. Because I know you, and I know that you had to be really hammered to let Eric touch you. I wasn’t going to let him take advantage of you.” He said.
“But… but why do you care what happens to me? You’re supposed to hate me.” I said, tears pricking my eyes.
“Yeah, I guess I’m supposed to.” He sighed. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” He said, wrapping an arm around my waist, keeping me steady as he guided me. I just leaned into him and let him pull me along, too drunk and confused to bother resisting. He led me to my bus and towards the bunks, asking which was mine and helping me into it once I pointed it out.
“Thank you John.” I said, cuddling into my sheets as I looked up at him.
“You’re welcome. Sleep well. Your morning is gonna suck.” He said. I groaned at the thought of my soon-to-be hangover. He began to walk away but I called out to him.
“Hey John.” I said, waiting until he leaned back down to look at me. “I miss you.” I told him. He stared at me for a moment before opening his mouth to speak, but quickly changed his mind and closed it, nodding instead and walking off quickly. I sighed and cuddled further into my sheets, wishing I could be cuddling him instead.