I'm Not Saying That I'm Not Breaking Some Hearts Tonight

Kaitlin parked in the parking lot of the local bar and walked in. She was really depressed, it had been about a week and a half since she left the letter at Mikey’s; she hadn’t heard from him. She felt angry, betrayed and abandoned. But on top of all of that, she felt sad. Just plain sad. She walked in and saw Gerard sitting at the bar and he had just ordered a beer. Her heart went out to her friend; she knew he must be hurting considerably in order to throw away his sobriety like this. She walked over slowly and sat down next to him, sitting her handbag on the bar.

“Hey,” she said, gently. “You shouldn’t be drinking.”

“Well my lesbian girlfriend issue is really depressing,” he said, as coolly as if he was simply commenting on the weather.

“Oh,” she said, awkwardly. Kaitlin didn’t know what he was talking about, and Gerard didn’t elaborate.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Not really," he said, reaching for his beer. "I want to drink about it."

Kaitlin put her hand on the glass so he couldn't move it.

"Whatever the problem is, drinking won't solve it."

"So it’s okay for you to drink to kill the pain but not me?" he snapped.

"I don't have years of precious sobriety to lose," she explained. "You do."

Gerard sighed and let his hand slip from the glass.

"Well if alcohol won't solve the problem, what will?" he asked, turning his beautiful honey-colored eyes to hers, looking desperately for an answer.

She didn't know the extent of his problem so she didn't know what to say. But if his girlfriend was a lesbian, that was obviously the end of their relationship, wasn't it? He was in the same boat as her. And somehow she doubted that getting shitfaced was going to do anything for either of them but land them with serious hangovers the next day. And the way she saw it, their broken hearts were misery enough.

"C'mon, let's get out of here," she said, shouldering her bag.

"And go where?" he asked.

"Let's.....get ice cream."

"Ice cream?" he asked, like she was insane.

"Yep," she said, and linked her arm through his dragging him off the bar stool. "C'mon buddy! We're gonna cheer each other up."

"You are crazy, you know that?" he asked, as they exited the bar together.

She just beamed up at him, taking that as a compliment.

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What with it being 9:45PM they couldn't find any ice cream shops that were still open so they were forced to go to the grocery story and pick up their own ice cream and toppings. They went back to her place, since she was in no mood to see Mikey. An hour later they were sitting cross legged on her living room floor, eating banana splits and talking about their failed relationships.

"Why couldn't they just tell us the truth?" she asked.

"I don't know," Gerard said. "If I wasn't committed to a relationship 100% or if I thought my heart was somewhere else, I would tell the truth. I wouldn't keep up a lie."

"Me neither. I guess some people just aren't like us," she said, staring down at her spoon dejectedly. "I really thought he cared about me. Maybe I'm just not good enough. Maybe that's why he treated me the way that he did."

"If anything you're too good for Mikey," Gerard said.

Kaitlin looked at him shocked.

"Don't get me wrong, Mikey is my brother and I love him. But he doesn't know what he wants. That's the only sense I can make of this. He had a girlfriend who was everything I've always wanted and never had," he said, bitterly. "And he threw it all away."

Kaitlin blushed, not sure what to say.

But she knew that she wanted to be closer to him.

Gerard must have been feeling the same way, because he took their bowls of ice cream and sat them on the coffee table. Then he moved closer to her and took her hands in his.

"I just don't want you to be sad, Kaitlin; you're too good for this. You're too amazing a person to put yourself down like that. You're smart, and caring and beautiful. You deserve better."

"So do you," she said, looking into his beautiful eyes and finding herself unable to look away.

Apparently Gerard was having the same problem because he maintained the eye contact and she saw so many things there. But above all she saw desire. She saw the same desire that she was feeling reflected back through his gold and green orbs. And then he was moving closer. His soft inviting pink lips drawer nearer to her own.

She had a few seconds to make the decision.
The only word that formed in her brain was 'Yes.’
She wanted this.

She closed her eyes and let him kiss her, savoring the feeling of his lips against hers. He gave her little closed-mouth kisses before running his tongue along her bottom lip in a silent request for entry. She granted it wholeheartedly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as she took him in, her tongue mingling with his in a way that made all of her senses heighten and her heart rate increase. She felt Gerard's arms slip around her waist, drawing her closer to him. And she felt something that she had never felt with Mikey.

Appreciated.

Wanted.

Truly wanted.

Not just wanted for a release or for pleasure or for convenience.

This was something else.

This was what she needed.

Their kisses became more and more passionate and she ran her hands through his ebony hair, letting her hands wander up and down his back. He laid her down on the carpeted floor and began to trail kissed down the sensitive skin of her neck. Light moans escaped her as her eyes drifted closed in bliss.

She felt his fingers working to unbutton her blouse and soon he had revealed the lace of her black bra. He kissed the tops of her breasts and helped her shrug out of her shirt before undoing the clasp on her bra. She couldn't wait to see him undressed so as soon as he peeled her bra off and tossed it, she grabbed his black t-shirt by the hem and pulled it over his head.

From there, clothes were hastily removed and ended up strewn around the living room floor. Gerard was now kissing his way down her taut stomach and his head was traveling further and further south as his mouth worked its magic, kissing and licking. Finally she felt him reach her most sensitive area and begin to lick her there. She arched her back and moaned loudly in encouragement. She needed this pleasure. She needed him to prove to her that his words before were true. She needed him to show her how desirable she was to him.

He used his tongue skillfully, bringing her close to orgasm and then backing off and starting all over again. By this time she was squirming and had taken hold of his head, crying out his name loudly. Mikey was never like this. He loved it when she went down on him but when it was her turn he was always quick and unceremonious about it. Gerard, on the other hand, was obviously doing this for her pleasure. And he was enjoying every second of it. That just made her enjoy it even more. Her orgasm took her by surprise with its intensity. Her whole body shook as pleasure coursed through her, screams of ecstasy tearing from her.

"Oh God, Gerard! Yes! Oh God!" she cried, as her climax rocked her.

When she went still, Gerard made his way up her body, placing warm kisses here and there and stopping to kiss and nip at her nipples until they were tingly and sensitive. He then kissed her lips and made a trail of kisses across her jawline to her ear as he settled between her thighs.

"Can I tell you a secret?'" he whispered.

She nodded.

"I love you," he said. "I have for a long time."

He pulled back to see her reaction but all she could do was smile. Because she had realized something.

"I love you, too," she said.

He smiled back and kissed her, then gently pushed himself inside of her. She gasped at the sensation and he started to move, thrusting in and out of her and setting up a moderate pace. Her heart was pounding and her breathing had gone shallow. She was even more sensitive after the orgasm she'd had and he felt so good her fingernails were digging into the flesh of his supple ass as he made love to her. He thrust deep inside her over and over; driving her closer and closer to what she suspected would be yet another exquisite release.

"Oh God, Gerard," she moaned, blissfully, rocking her hips with his, craving more and more of him. She kissed and sucked on his neck in a way destined to leave a hickey the next day.

As her excitement continued to grow his pace increased and she now felt like her entire body was buzzing with pleasure. She could no longer form coherent words and had taken to just moaning her encouragement.

"Babe, I'm close," he panted.

She was already there, however, and for the second time that night her senses overloaded, her insides tightening over and over again on him in intense release. Her cries of pleasure were joined by his as he experienced his own release inside her.

For awhile afterwards they lay there cuddling before deciding to go to bed. He got up and offered her a hand, helping her up. He encircled her in his arms and kissed her.

"I am so glad you showed up at the bar tonight," he said. "There's no drink in the world that could make me feel like I do right now."

She just smiled up at him and then buried her face in his chest, hugging him tight.