Who Wouldn't Want To Be Me

“Ready to go fishing?” Jordan asked. I slowly nodded, still sure this was a bad idea.

“I guess,” I agreed, getting into his boat.

“You really don’t like fishing?” he asked, and again I shrugged.

“It’s just… not my thing. And I have a bad habit of getting hooks stuck in me whenever I go. It’s just a lot safer for me to stay away from it,” I explained, and Jordan laughed as he turned on his stereo and pulled away from shore.

“You’ll be fine babe, and if not I do have a First Aid kit,” he assured me, not making me feel any better. I stuck my tongue out at him and laid back in my chair, my sunglasses blocking out the bright rays. It felt weird, but nice to be a ‘girl’ again – nobody knew I was coming out here with Jordan, and he didn’t plan on talking to or seeing anybody while we were out here, so I didn’t have to pretend to be a guy for our few days alone. So out had come my swim-suit, tank tops and jean shorts. Even if they were going to be left here so nobody could find them at Jordan’s parents.

“There you go… nice and easy now,” Jordan coached me as I attempted to reel in another fish that had no intention of doing as I asked. I’d already somehow let two get away, and while I was frustrated and bored with the whole fishing thing Jordan was just as excited as he’d been when he woke me up this morning. He stood behind me, his arms extended and his hands hovering mere inches over mine, ready and eager to take over if needed. I slowly reeled it in, and then the line jumped and thankfully Jordan grabbed the fishing rod because I almost let it go. He put his hands overtop of mine, and let the line out a little bit before reeling it in, and repeated it until the next thing I knew we had a fish in the boat.

“There you go Cam!” Jordan was excited at the fairly large fish, and I was just glad he seemed to have this under control and I didn’t have to touch it. I have a slight aversion to things that look slimy.

“You pulled it in Jordy,” I reminded him, and he laughed.

“Still your fish – you did most of the work,” he insisted, and then tried to make me hold it so he could get a picture of me with it.

“Jordy it’s gross!” I told him, sitting as far away as the boat would allow from the thing as he held it toward me.

“Come on, just for like two seconds so I can take a picture?” I shook my head again, and he put his free hand on his hips, looking like a parent about to reprimand their child.

“Cam, it’s like two seconds; you’ll live. If you don’t hold it so I can take a picture I’ll make you help me scale it and fillet it,” he said, and I closed my eyes and grimaced as he made me hold it and took a picture on my digital camera.

“As cute as you look making that face… smile!” he told me, and I opened one eye and managed a half-ass smile type thing and Jordan snapped another picture as he laughed at me, before taking the fish back from me and putting it in the cooler-thing he had for them. We spent another hour or so out fishing, in which Jordan caught a couple of fish and I was content to lay there and visit with him while he did so. When we got back to his place I went inside to make lunch while he filleted and did whatever else to the fish.

“Mmm, looks good,” I jumped as Jordan wrapped his arms around my waist and dropped his chin to my shoulder. I hadn’t even heard him come inside.

“Thanks babe; you hungry?” I asked, and he nodded, before kissing my neck.

“Starved,”

I put the two bowls of taco salad on the table, and Jordan grabbed each of us a beer from the fridge before sitting down. We ate quietly, before Jordan decided he wanted to take a nap.

“Come on, cuddle?” he asked, as if he even had to. I flopped down onto the couch beside him, and he pulled me on top of him so he could lay comfortably on his back on the cushions. I kissed his cheek, and he smiled at me, his thumb softly stroking my back where his hand rested.

“I love you Cam,” he whispered, making me smile. I cupped his cheeks, feeling the short stubble on his skin.

“I love you too Jordan,” I replied, and leaned down to kiss him. He shifted slightly to lean against the arm of the couch to give himself a better angle, his grip tightening on me as he flicked his tongue against my bottom lip.

We continued kissing, and soon Jordan moved us until he was supporting himself on his elbows above me. My earlier thoughts returned to my mind, and suddenly I felt guilty and selfish. Jordan was sacrificing his relationship with his brother for me, and I couldn’t do something I desperately wanted to because there was a very slight chance I might not be able to play hockey? Hockey wasn’t as important as family, and it was like someone flipped a switch inside of me.