Warning

“I am such an idiot.” I said, putting my head in my hands as I sat in Marc and Lucy’s kitchen. Marc brought over a cup of tea and I saw Lucy give him a look before getting up and grabbing a bottle of tequila from the cabinet.

“This isn’t the time for tea, Marc. Shit got real.” Lucy said and both Marc and I looked at her, before looking at each other to make sure that we both just heard that. I don’t think either of us had heard her say a single bad word before, but Lucy just continued on. “And you’re not an idiot, Violet. I mean, that’s not entirely true because you can’t put together an Ikea bookcase and you never turn the lights off in the kitchen, but in this particular instance you’re not an idiot.”

“Thanks, Luce.”

“Look Vi, I have to tell you something.” Marc said, his face twisting uncomfortably. Lucy and I both looked at him as my hands reached for the bottle of tequila and the shot glass.

“Oh god, not you too. Are you going to walk away from being my friend because I seriously can’t deal with that.” I said and he shook his head.

“No but—“ he hesitated, like he had done something bad. I felt my heartbeat start to race as I looked at him.

“Spit it out.” Lucy said, pushing a giant Cadbury bar my way. I briefly observed it before turning my attention back to Marc.

“Sid was over here earlier and he asked me how you liked Neal, how you were and stuff. I don’t know, I thought he was still pining for you or something. He’s always asked that kind of stuff, and I just said you seemed happy. I don’t know. I’m really sorry, Vi.” He said softly, his dark eyes looking extremely remorseful.

“Oh, It’s not your fault, Marc. It’s mine. I’m the emotionally stunted idiot.”

“He broke up with you, you’re not an idiot. You both just need time, I think. I don’t see any other reason for you two not to be together.” Marc said and I groaned, laying my head down on the table.

“Vi, it’ll be okay.” Lucy said and I didn’t move. “Do you want me to go get some ice cream?”

“Its like 10 and you’re bigger than a house. I’ll be okay. But I’ll take this.” I said, grabbing the shot glass and pouring myself one tequila shot after another. Five down, I felt my head finally begin to fog. Marc and Lucy just stared at me silently and I shrugged.

“I’m an emotional shell.” I said and Marc pushed the chocolate towards me.

About an hour later, the bottle of tequila was drained and I was lounging on the couch with my hand on my forehead, thinking about what had happened. I couldn’t be with Neal, I knew I had to go and break things off with him and it didn’t help the situation any less. And maybe it was the alcohol or the fact that I finally heard my pager after about five minutes of solid beeping, but I realized that I needed to be at the hospital.

“Hospital.” I said, reaching over for my purse and Marc jumped out and grabbed my bag.

“I’m driving you. You’re not even okay to walk…” he commented as he watched me stumble towards the door. He grabbed my shoulders, put my coat and scarf on, took my shoulders again and helped me out the door.

“This is all Jordan Staal’s fault.” I slurred I heard Marc laugh a little before reaching out and opening the door. As he walked me out, I saw a familiar figure on the driveway. Sidney stood there, looking like he was about to go up and ring the doorbell. He looked at me and frowned, his eyes bearing that same gentle and concerned expression he showed me before. I didn’t look at him, just stared straight ahead in a foggy daze.

“Violet—“ I heard him say my name and his voice broke the haze, but I pushed it away. Whether it was the alcohol or the pain, I was glad. My hair fell in front of my face as I tilted forwards. Marc grabbed me back and pushed against my shoulders, instructing me to me forward.

“Is she okay?” Sidney asked Marc and if I could see his expression, I would see him shake his head no and grimace. But I figured I was a big girl, I could answer for myself. Even words made no sense to me at the moment.

“I’m drunk.” I said, turning my red, glassy eyes at Sidney.

“She drank a whole bottle of tequila and like half a bottle of white wine and—something else...” Marc furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. “I don’t know how she’s not dead, but—“

“I have a strong liver. I have to go practice medicine and go break up with my boss, bye.” I slurred quietly and tried to stumble forward on my own, tilting sideways before Sidney caught me. I felt my breathing get heavier and my eyes grow wet as he held me for a moment.

“Vi—“ he said softly and I brushed away the tears that had formed on my eyes.

Marc came closer and got me, standing me straight up and balancing me again. “You’re not helping.” He said to Sidney and directed me towards my car. “I’ll be back in like twenty minutes. I have to take your alcoholic to the hospital to sober up, but Lucy is inside. “ he said and Sid put his hands in his pockets.

“How bad is she?” Sid asked and Marc gave a heavy sigh.

“Pretty bad. Whatever you did man, this time she’s a wreck. She drank half my liquor cabinet. ”

“She didn’t tell you?” Sid asked and Marc shook his head.

“She never went into specifics. She just started drinking.”

“But Sid, whatever you did, you really fucked her over. This is worse than when she found out about Chloe…” he said and moved towards the car. I opened the door and loked at Sidney.

“See you at two for your appointment, Mr. Crosby.” I yelled in a slur and Marc closed the door and got in on the other side. Next thing I knew, we were in the parking lot of the hospital and I was waving bye to Marc

As I wandered to the on call room, I saw Kat take one look at me and crack a smile. She pulled me into an exam room and I swayed with her, too drunk to care.

“I love it when you come into work drunk. You need a banana bag though.”

“I’m breaking up with Neal.” I said, watching her put the IV in my arm.

“You’re what?! Violet, he’s your boss. He’s OUR boss.” Kat frowned as she hooked up the banana bag. “No, he’s not only our boss but our bosses boss. Novikova will never let you in the OR again.”

“Well what am I going to do? Marry him for surgeries?” I asked, noticing that my speech had improved slightly.

“Uh yeah.” Kat replied flatly, like I asked the stupidest question ever. I grabbed my IV stand and hopped off of the exam chair.

“I’m going to the on call room.” I said, rolling my IV out of the exam room.

“Hansan was looking for you!” Kat called after me and I just shrugged.

“Whatever.” I said and shut the door to the on call room.

As I fell on the bed face first, I felt the alcohol begin to wear off. I was still drunk, but more of the fog cleared and all of a sudden, I felt myself burst into tears. I couldn’t help it, couldn’t control it—the rush of emotion just surged through me and I felt my shoulders rock with each cry.

It couldn’t have been more than five minutes, but over my incessant crying, I heard the door to the on call room open and I got up. Neal walked over and sat on the edge of my bed.

“I’m so sorry.” I heard myself say and he turned his head and looked at me.

“You know he’s just going to hurt you again—and when he does, I won’t be here.” He said and I nodded.

“You have no idea how true that is.” I said and he shook his head.

“Bye, Violet.”