Bury Me Alive

X Mesly’s p.o.v. X

I sat there on the floor of the bathroom and stared at the little white stick the doctor had given me.

No, there was no way, I mean… right?

I’m too young for this!

Tears started flowing down my face.

Then there was a knock on the door and Nick poked his head in.

“Mesly… can I come in?” He asked

I just nodded, still unable to find my voice.

He came in and shut the door behind me.

Nick sat next to me and held me in his arms while I cried into his shirt.

“It’s going to be okay Mesly, I promise.” Nick said

“No it’s not… I mean there’s no way, and… I’m too young for this.” I said

“Have you taken the test yet?” Nick asked

I shook my head.

“No… I’m too scared to.” I said

“Well… if you don’t take the test the doctors won’t be able to figure out what’s wrong with you.” Nick said

“No, I’m not going to… I won’t.” I said stubbornly

“Do you want me to get Andy for you or something?” Nick asked

“No, please don’t tell him about this, or anyone else, this stays between us okay.” I said

“Okay… but they are going to find out sooner or later I mean if you are you know… you’re going to get big.” He said

“Please don’t say it…” I said

He nodded.

“Well on one condition, if you take the test I won’t tell, and if u don’t I’ll go right up to Andy and confront him.” Nick said

“Okay, okay fine… but I don’t want to be alone… could you just stand in the corner and turn around?” I asked

He nodded.

Then he moved over, turned around and covered his eyes.

“This good?” He asked

“Yeah… thanks.” I said

“No problem, now could you hurry up?” He asked

“Um… how do you do this?” I asked

“You’re the female… how should I know?” He asked

I shrugged.

“Read the box.” He said

“Thanks so much.” I said sarcastically

“Can I look now?” Nick asked

“Yeah, I haven’t done anything.” I said

“Hand over the box.” He said

I did.

“Well… it says here that you have to pee on the little tab thing and then you set it on the counter and if the little thing in the middle has a plus sign then that means yes and if it has a negative sign it means no.” Nick said

“I have to pee on it?” I asked

He nodded.

“I don’t have to go though.” I said

Nick smacked his forehead.

“Mesly…” he said

“Why do you want to know so badly?” I asked

“… I don’t know, I’m going to kill whoever did this to you!” Nick yelled

“No please.” I begged

Before Nick said anything else there was a knock on the door.

I threw the test underneath the sink and we both scrabbled to do something that wouldn’t make it look awkward, but couldn’t think of anything so we both poked our heads out.

“Yes?” We both said

“Um… what’s going on in there?” Andy asked

“Nothing… we were just uh…” I said

Andy gave me a look that told me… okay continue.

“Talking.” I said

“In the bathroom?” Andy asked

“Sure… what’s up?” I asked

“Well I heard that you were sick so I came to check up on you.” Andy said

“Oh… well thanks for that, I guess. Where’s Matt?” I asked

“He’s still signing stuff outside of the venue.” Andy said

“Okay well… um thanks for dedicating that song to me on stage.” I said

“No problem.” Andy said

We stood there and Nick poked his head back in.

“Um… where are you going to sleep, I mean are you going to sleep in Matt’s bunk tonight?” Andy asked

I nodded.

“Yeah… I can’t stand to be away from my… sweetie.” I lied

Andy’s face scrunched up.

“Okay, this is too lovey dovey for me… I’m going to go… good luck with him.” Andy said

“Thank you?” I said rather asked

Andy smiled a bit and then turned and left.

I poked my head inside to see Nick giving me a look full of sorrow.

“You still love him don’t you?” Nick asked

My eyes shifted down to my feet and then I nodded, slowly, painfully.

“Yes.” I said

“Well then… why are you with Matt?” Nick asked

If I don’t he will freaking kill me, literally.

“I um… like him too.” I said

Nick raised his eyebrow.

“Really?” He asked

I put on a fake smile and nodded.

“Yeah, I love him.” I said

He didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t say anything.

“Okay… so are you going to do this?” Nick asked

I sighed.

“I think I’ve been through a lot today… can’t we save this for some other time?” I asked

Nick glared at me.

“Mesly… what are you so afraid of? If you do end up being pregnant, with Andy’s baby then you both will raise it and live happily ever after, isn’t that what you want?” Nick asked

Yes, that’s all I want!

“What if he doesn’t want to raise it with me?” I asked

Or what if… it’s not Andy’s?

Oh my god.

How did I not realize that before?!

I gasped.

“What? Mesly… what’s wrong?” He asked

“I … um… I need some air… could you please hide that … thing?” I asked

Then I took off and exited the bus.

“Wait!” Nick called

I kept on walking and didn’t turn back.

***

I found a safe place to sit and think, and that place was Starbucks.

With my knees up to my chest, I sat there just staring at nothing and everything at once.

My phone vibrated.

I didn’t even want to check it, so I just let it keep ringing.

Then I placed my head on the table, on top of my folded arms and sighed.

What am I going to do?

I can’t tell Andy… because if I were … pregnant, and it wasn’t his…

No, Mesly… you’re not going to think of that.

You don’t even know if it’s true or not.

Ugh, I sound so stupid… wait when was my last… period?

I thought back and groaned.

Oh crud… it was a while back and I missed it… great.

I smacked my fist on the table, hard, and then regretted doing that and held my arm to my chest.

Why am I so stupid these days?!

Suddenly I felt an arm on my shoulder and I froze up.

“Mesly?” Matt asked

Great… just what I needed.

He pulled off my hoodie and turned me around to look at him.

Matt saw the tears in my eyes and immediately sat down.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” He asked

I wiped my eyes and got up quickly.

“Nothing, I’m fine. Is everyone ready to leave?” I asked

“Mesly… what’s wrong?” He asked

“It’s just some allergies, no big deal.” I said

“Would you like me to buy you some medication or something?” he asked

“No, please that’s not necessary.” I said

“You sure? Do you need or want anything else?” He asked

I shook my head.

He looked at me and contemplated what to say next, but when he couldn’t think of anything he got up and gave me a hug.

What the hell?!

When he pulled back he looked at me and then kissed me.

“Let’s go back to the bus?” He asked

Since I was too stunned to say anything, I just nodded and let him lead me back.

When we were past all the people I stopped walking and turned to him.

“Okay I don’t mean to ruin the moment, but… why are you being so nice to me?” I asked

“Look… I just need to pull off a good guy in front of other people, don’t get too excited.” Matt said

There goes his mood again.

Wow, and he almost had me fooled there.

He started walking again and he dragged me along, with a little too much force.

I whimpered.

Then I guess he changed his mind and grabbed me and started kissing me with full force and pushed me up against a wall.

“No, Matt.” I said

“You don’t control me, I control you get that?” He whispered in my ear

He kept kissing me and put his hands up my shirt and started grabbing my boobs, hard.

I screamed, in his mouth, and tried to push him away.

Matt smiled and pulled his hands out and kissed me once more before he started walking again.

With my free arm, I lightly held my boobs, which were now throbbing thanks to him.

When we got back onto the bus, he turned to look at me again.

I tried to move away but he grabbed me and pulled me towards him, so that he was about only an inch from me.

“Remember what I told you earlier, now don’t say anything to anyone and go straight to the bunk, you understand?” He asked

I didn’t want to risk getting hit again so I nodded.

“Good girl, you’re learning now.” He said

Then he let me go and he walked onto the bus and I followed him like a little puppy.

Everyone was busy doing their thing, until we walked in and everybody stopped and looked at us.

“Mesly, where the hell were you?!” Nick asked

I quickly looked at Matt, who was acting like he wasn’t listening, but really was.

“I… went for a coffee.” I said

“Did you go alone?” He asked

I shook my head.

“No, Matt was with me.” I said

Nick then turned over to where he was sitting and pursed his lips.

“Okay… well do you want to watch some tv with me?” Nick asked

I put on a small little fake smile and shook my head.

“No thank you, I’m really tired, but some other time okay?” I asked

Nick smiled back and nodded before going back and sitting on the sofa.

Then I started walking towards the bunks, but from the corner of my eyes I saw Matt smile evilly.

I gulped and stayed quiet.

When I reached the bunks I got in and moved to the farthest corner and just stared up at the ceiling.

“Hey guys, I’m a little tired, I’ll play with you guys tomorrow okay?” Matt said (in his innocent voice)

I rolled my eyes.

“Man are you going to leave me hanging here?” Andy asked

“No, I’m just tired too, besides my girlfriend is waiting for me.” Matt said

Please take your time.

“Oh… okay well have fun.” Andy said

“Thanks I will.” Matt said

“Don’t be too loud please!” Jake called

“Use protection!” CC yelled

All the guys cheered him on and said well all these other guy things.

I blushed a deep red.

Then the little curtain thing opened and Matt slid in and put his arms behind his neck, smiling.

I tried to move away a little bit more, but then he turned to look at me.

“Come here baby.” Matt said

Fudge.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him.

Matt then sat up and got on top of me and bent down to kiss my neck.

“Take off your shirt.” He whispered in my ear

I just glared at him and started taking it off.

He ripped it off and then started kissing me again.

So I just closed my eyes and hoped that it would be quick and done with.

***