Kid A
Six.
He hugged me again. It felt really warm, comforting, even. I started crying.
“Jonny? What’s wrong?” he frowned.
“Thom I… I just…” I bit my lip and hugged him tightly. “Don’t leave me, okay?”
He chuckled ever so lightly. “Jonny, you’re such a drama queen sometimes. You should know I’d never do that.”
“Even if something really weird happened and I was really creepy for some reason?”
“Jonny what are you even talking about?”
“… I guess nothing I just don’t want to lose you…”
“Jonny, we’ve been best friends for this long, it’s not going to change. I promise.”
“But what about Ed? Aren’t you best friends with him?”
“What about Ed? We’re all five best friends aren’t we? Jonny, what’s going on?”
I buried my head into his shoulder and cried softly. If only he knew, if only I could find the words to tell him about all of the feelings swirling around inside my chest right now. I felt two strong hands on either side of my face, as Thom moved my head so that his eyes were looking into mine. “Jonny, I want you to be honest with me. What are you hiding from me?”
My eyes darted to the side as I attempted to avoid the situation; my mouth refused to open.
“Jonny… You’re too important to me, okay? There is nothing you could say that would ruin that. I don’t care what awful thing you think you’ve done. I know you, Jonny. I know you would never mean any harm from anything.”
My whole body started to shake and I got really dizzy. “Thom… Oh, Thom please just stop it… I know it would never happen anyway… I’m sorry.”
He looked at me sternly, “Jonny, now you’re doing it. Of course it’ll never happen if you don’t even tell me what ‘it’ is!”
I fell and sat down on the floor. “You don’t understand, Thom, okay?? I love you! I’ve always loved you!” At this point, tears were streaming down my face as I buried it in my hands.
Thom didn’t respond, and for about five minutes he didn’t move. I was left sobbing on my own kitchen floor as he watched, silent and emotionless.
Then, slowly, he sat down next to me and gently brushed some hair out of my face the best he could with me being such a mess. I just looked up at him, still crying, albeit softer than I was initially. He smiled at me. “Jonny, I already knew that.”
“Jonny? What’s wrong?” he frowned.
“Thom I… I just…” I bit my lip and hugged him tightly. “Don’t leave me, okay?”
He chuckled ever so lightly. “Jonny, you’re such a drama queen sometimes. You should know I’d never do that.”
“Even if something really weird happened and I was really creepy for some reason?”
“Jonny what are you even talking about?”
“… I guess nothing I just don’t want to lose you…”
“Jonny, we’ve been best friends for this long, it’s not going to change. I promise.”
“But what about Ed? Aren’t you best friends with him?”
“What about Ed? We’re all five best friends aren’t we? Jonny, what’s going on?”
I buried my head into his shoulder and cried softly. If only he knew, if only I could find the words to tell him about all of the feelings swirling around inside my chest right now. I felt two strong hands on either side of my face, as Thom moved my head so that his eyes were looking into mine. “Jonny, I want you to be honest with me. What are you hiding from me?”
My eyes darted to the side as I attempted to avoid the situation; my mouth refused to open.
“Jonny… You’re too important to me, okay? There is nothing you could say that would ruin that. I don’t care what awful thing you think you’ve done. I know you, Jonny. I know you would never mean any harm from anything.”
My whole body started to shake and I got really dizzy. “Thom… Oh, Thom please just stop it… I know it would never happen anyway… I’m sorry.”
He looked at me sternly, “Jonny, now you’re doing it. Of course it’ll never happen if you don’t even tell me what ‘it’ is!”
I fell and sat down on the floor. “You don’t understand, Thom, okay?? I love you! I’ve always loved you!” At this point, tears were streaming down my face as I buried it in my hands.
Thom didn’t respond, and for about five minutes he didn’t move. I was left sobbing on my own kitchen floor as he watched, silent and emotionless.
Then, slowly, he sat down next to me and gently brushed some hair out of my face the best he could with me being such a mess. I just looked up at him, still crying, albeit softer than I was initially. He smiled at me. “Jonny, I already knew that.”