Hiding My Heart

The day after the funeral I went to go see how Billy was doing. I know I should probably wait until Jake is on patrol but I honestly want to work my way into being his center of attention again. Like before this furry problem happened.

I get to their house and knock on the door knowing full well that if I really wanted to I could just walk into the house without knocking.

"Come on in the door is open!" I hear form someone in what sounds like the living room.

I open the door and walk to the living room and see that it was Jake not Billy like I thought it would be.

"Hey, Jake. Where's Billy?"

"He is with Charlie. I guess they needed some time with together to get over Harry dying and Charlie needed someone at the house because SHE isn't there at the moment." He looked so sad when he had to talk about her.

"Oh, well, I guess I will just come by later." I say as I slowly turn to leave but I get pulled back by a hand that I never thought would pull me back. He pulls me to him with such force that I fall on to his lap on the couch.

"What was that for?"

"Can you please stay? I know that we didn't get on the right foot when I changed but I really want you in my life. When I say I want you in my life I mean as more than the girl who gives me dirty looks and avoids me." I look down when he says this feeling guilty but then I remember that he made me do that. He made me angry at him for hurting me so bad. I was about to get up and storm out of the house but I see the hopeful look in his eyes and the sadness that she left him with. So I awkwardly slide off his lap and quickly sit on the couch.

"Alright, I guess I will stay. So what do you want to do?" The silence that follows the question I asked makes me feel awkward.

"I guess we should talk, Anna. I want to start off by saying I'm sorry that I was such an ass."

"It's alright" I say this trying to make him feel better knowing full well that it wasn't alright.

"No. It's not alright. Anna I was a total dick to you. You did nothing wrong to me. You were just following orders. I knew you imprinted on me I could see it in your eyes and if I am going to be truthful here, I imprinted on you also. I was just too stubborn to let myself fall for it. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't falling for someone because I was forced into it. I wanted to make sure it was real." As he is saying this I can't help but get angry at what he is saying.

"Seriously Jacob?! You have got to be kidding me. The love I have for you is nothing different than the love I had for you before we changed. I loved you then and I love you now. I would have done anything for you. You were my first love and you are my only love. To say that this love isn't real is ridiculous because it hasn't changed. It was here before. I knew you liked me before we had this furry problem also so it is real. If we didn't change we would have been together anyways. If Isabella didn't come around because her stupid ass leech left her, you would have been a wolf and we wouldn't be having this problem. Jake I know you 'love' her but seriously do you wanna waste your time on a girl who will never love you like you love her? I have wanted to say this to you since you told Isabella about us. Do you really want a girl who will never love you who is in love with a nasty ass leech? I have been standing by waiting for you to love me for a very, very long time Jacob. A very long time. I have always been here for you. I was there when your mom died. I was there when you broke your arm because you thought you could ride a skate board. I was there when you changed and I am here now when Isabella broke your heart. I know what you are thinking I wasn't there for you after I changed but guess what Jake I was. I would keep an eye on you when you were sleeping. I would make sure I could be able to patrol by your house. So I have been here for you threw a lot. I love you for all your flaws and everything. Now it is your time to choose. Are you going to let me walk away or are you going to love me the way I should be loved?"

The whole time I blew up on him and spilled everything Jake looked confused. I guess he didn't know what to say to my outburst and honestly I didn't blame him. He opened up his mouth to say something but closed it before anything came out. I gave him a sad, hurt look and slowly got up.

"Jake, I really am not trying to put any pressure on you it’s just I couldn't hold it in anymore. You don't have to answer right away. I am just going to leave. You know where to find me when you have an answer or if you need some more justification as to why this is really real. I'll see Billy when you are on patrol. Bye." With that I walked out of the house and went home to cry. I honestly can't believe I blew up like that. I thought I was in check of my emotions.

JAKE's POV

When Anna walked out of my house I was confused. Her words kept running threw my head. It was like they were on repeat. I was a little angry when she brought Bella into the conversation but the more I think about it the more I understand that Anna is just hurt and wanted to get that point across to me. I see it in her eyes that she truly loves me. I know that without a doubt. I love her. She can light up a room whenever she walks in. She really is a ray of sunshine, my ray of sunshine.

It took me a while to try to figure out what is holding me back from running to Anna's house and giving her the kiss that I have wanted to give her for a long time. It was Bella, my little normal girl that I love, the one that broke my heart.

"Jake I know you 'love' her but seriously do you wanna waste your time on a girl who will never love you like you love her?" Lines of Anna's outburst keep showing themselves. "I have been standing by waiting for you to love me for a very, very long time Jacob." Those lines are the ones I just can't stop thinking about.

Maybe she is right. Maybe it is time for me to give up on Bella. Maybe I should give into my imprint and show her that she is the center of my world. I should actually treat that girl right. She is my first love. She is the girl who has been threw everything with me. But Bella, She is the girl I really just don’t want to let go.

After a while of thinking and ultimately confusing myself more I notice that it is time for me to go on patrol. As I am walking outside I see that my dad is back from Charlie’s.

“Dad! Anna said that she wants to come over today and talk with you. You should probably give her a call. I am on my way out to go for a run.” I yell to him on my way to the garage. I didn’t want to say patrol with Charlie right next to him.

“Alright son. Be careful. I will give her a call when I get inside thank you.”
With that I quickly my way out to the woods and shift when I am out of sight.

ANNA’s POV

I hear the phone ring and make my way to the kitchen so I can catch it before the last ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey Anna, It’s Billy. Jake said you wanted to come over and talk.”

“Yea I’ll be right over just give me a minute.” I hang up the phone and write a note to my mom telling her where I am going to be so I don’t get in trouble once again for not being home.

In a matter of minutes I am at Billy’s house and walk right in.

“Billy I’m here.”

“In the kitchen!” When I get to the kitchen he is cleaning up some dishes.

“Here Billy let me do that. Are you hungry? I am sure I can make something.”

“No I’m fine. Thank you though.”

With that we walk into the living room to sit and talk.

“Anna what was it that you wanted to talk about?”

“Well I really just wanted to make sure that you were ok.”

“I’m fine thanks.” We sit there for hours talking about everything and catching up on all the drama that has happened somehow we got to talking about all the people that have imprinted in the pack.

“So Anna have you imprinted?” This takes me by surprise. Jake didn't tell his dad?

“Well, Billy, I have.”

“Well tell me! Who is this lucky man?!”

“Well it’s someone that you know. I honestly am surprise that he hasn't told you about it yet.”

“Who?”

“Well its Jake. I imprinted on him the day that he changed.”

“Why aren't you to together then?”

“I honestly don’t know. He has been going after Isabella and wouldn't give me the time of day. But it’s not like I let him talk to me.”

“Anna I see. Well he will come around someday honey. He would be stupid not to. I remember before you changed he was going to ask you out, the day after your birthday, the day you were sick.” I gave him a smile and a hug. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was time for me to be getting home because it was my last day that I didn't have a patrol at night.

“Well Billy I think it is time for me to be getting home. I love you. Have a good night.”

“Bye Anna. Be safe!” With that I walked out of the house and back to mine with Jacob never leaving my mind.