Fix a Heart, My Heart

"I don't need help," I yelled at her.

Selena, that is. She stood there kneeling down at my level. I dropped to the ground in tears.

"Yes you do Demi. Things could get so much worse," she spoke.

She glared at my wrists with tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"I - I can't believe Joe w-would do that to me! He told me he'd be there,"

I began holding my wrist tightly. The blood went out through the cuts as I squeezed. My tears couldn't be controlled. I know I shouldn't cry over a guy, that I should be strong for my fans. But it hurts, he was always there and we were starting to have a strong connection.

It's my fault, it's all my fault. If I wouldn't have started cutting he'd still be by my side. The girls at school were right. I'm a worthless, stupid, ugly duck face that deserves the worse. I will never be happy.

Selena wrapped her arms around me as she finally dropped to her knees. She held my tightly and I sighed loudly.

Maybe I do need help, but, how do I tell my parents without hurting them? How do I tell the media without loosing my fans? Without disappointing them? They look up to me. I'm their role model.

How do I tell without having Joe think he was right about me. I shook my head with disbelief at myself. I lied to him, I lied to Joe. Also, how do I tell everyone without them forcing me into one of those mental institutions?

I started to shake from being so scared. I can feel the numbness kicking back in. I hate that feeling. It was the worse and very hard for me to shake it off.

"Joe is an idiot. Just forget about him," she said pulling the bangs from my eyes.

"I want him back though, I want to get my life back," I said blowing my nose into the baby blue kleenex.

"You can, wait, I don't know about Joe. But you can get your life back. If you do as I say and get some help. There is nothing wrong with that Demi," she said with her voice cracking in between words.

I sighed, starting to look around.

"I'm going to tell my mom. She needs to know more than anyone else," I said.

"Do you want me there with you?"

"Please, I don't think I can do this alone."

"You won't have too. I'll be here every step of the way. Lets clean up your wrists and then go watch some TV and relax,"

I'm going to get my life back.