I Myself Am Strange and Unusual

"Suck my dick!" Audrey yelled, slamming the door in my face.

We had just gotten back from the game store and she ran off with the Xbox, all the new games, my phone, and of course the keys to the flat. "Audrey!" I yelled, banging on the door. "Open the fuckin' door!"

"Make me!"

"Shut up and open the door!"

"You have to work for it, Malia! Make me purr!"

"What?" I asked incredulous.

"Turn me on!" She shouted from inside, a giggle following shortly after.

"No way!"

"Whelp, I guess you're stuck outside!"

I groaned and pressed my ear to the door. A few moments later, the sound of guns from a video game blasted. "Audrey!" I yelled, banging on the door again.

The video game paused and I heard footsteps coming towards the door. "Make me wet," she laughed from the inside.

I rubbed my face before whispering into the door, "darlin', yeh so beautiful."

"You're going to have to do better than that, Malia. Seduce me."

"I'm goin' to kill yeh," I mumbled.

"Yea, that's definitely turning me on," she snorted sarcastically.

I sighed and whispered in to the door, "love, I can barely keep my hands off yeh. Yeh body makes me tremble. The way yeh soft skin feels on my fingers..." I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead on the front of the door, "it gives me shivers. Half the time I have to hold myself back from jumping on yeh."

Her voice was meek from the other side. "What would you do to me?"

I looked over my shoulder before leaning my forehead on the door again. "I just want to throw yeh down, anywhere, literally anywhere - the living room, the kitchen, hell even at the park earlier - and I just want to fuck the livin' shit out of yeh."

"Fanks babe," a British accent chuckled behind me.

I turned and groaned seeing Oli as well as the rest of the band there. "We came fo' video games and instead saw yeh nearly whackin' it outside!" Matty laughed.

I groaned and banged on the door, "Audrey, open the fuckin' door! The guys are here!"

"Did they hear?" She laughed from the inside.

"Yes!" They all cheered behind me.

I smacked my head on the door before she opened it, grinning like the little devil she is. "I hate yeh," I mumbled, walking passed her.

"I can't believe yeh made him do that," Vegan laughed, plopping on the couch.

"She's a keepah, jus' like I said earlier," Oli grinned, grabbing a controller.

Jona pushed Matty lightly and ruffled Audrey on the head. "Good little demon."

"Evil demon if yeh ask me," I huffed.

Audrey smiled, wrapping her arms around my waist. "Hey babe?"

"Hmm?" I smiled, looking down.

"Lick my finger."

I gave her a confused look before glancing over to the guys. Vegan and Oli were focused on the game while Jona and Matty mirrored the same confused look I had. Before I could think, she shoved her finger in my mouth. My brows furrowed in confusion before the taste hit me. "Is that-"

"Jizz, yes."

I looked down at her and back up to the guys and then back down to her. I reached down and threw her over my shoulder, running to the bedroom. I threw her on the bed and turned and locked the door before smashing my lips against hers. "Were yeh seriously jackin' off while I was outside?"

She shrugged and I laughed, crashing my lips on to hers.