Don't Be Afraid My Love, It's Just a Little Bit of Blood

My outfit consists of black heels, black pencil skirt that goes to my knees, a dark grey short sleeved top that hangs off my shoulders showing my collarbone with a elbow length black button up sweater over top. A silver chain hangs from my neck with a silver ring hanging from it. It has three small diamonds and the letters PJC engraved on one side and NEH on the other. I wear it every day. Big, dark sunglasses cover my vein busted eyes. My hair has changed since the last time they've seen me. It used to be to my elbows, dark brown with blonde highlights. Now its chopped off to my shoulders with a few layers and its a carmel blonde color. I make sure to stick to the back of the place, not wanting to gain any attention. As I look around to see who's here, I see the Jackass guys and family up front. They've also been crying. Bam is next to his parents crying. Steve-o, Pontius, Wee man and Preston are whispering to each other. Dave and Ehren are standing next to Knoxville. My heart skips a beat seeing him. He's still as beautiful as he was five years ago. He must've felt someone watching him because he started looking around to find who it could be. I quickly look away and move to sit down, waiting for the line to go down a little. I keep my head down but my eyes up. My chest feels heavy watching all of them comfort each other. Tears start coming down again as I realize how alone I am. And I did this to myself.